my friend jumped off the cliff first

The folling report is about my friend's hallucinogenic history as well as my own as we were hand in hand on this difficult and self-terminating journey. Id like to share his shroomy end to psychadelics, because mine was done using ayahuasca.

My friend and I have taken lots of hallucinogens. In doses most would find over the top, mosly with extreemely high doses of LSD. However we did it earlier in our lives(sophomore and junior year of high-school, + one 500+ ug experience of rememberance senior year). We did this by ourselves or with each other, untill 600-700 ug's (no exaduration), per week or two(of LSD) was getting more intense every week, not less intense as some might say, (which is usually accurate).
We began to understand very early how serious these drugs were. However, I didn't know untill my second Ayahuasca preparation years later that I got the point which sadly does include a freak out of mind and body. The kind of experience that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy(+ without purging), it makes you laugh, cry, and literally tells you things you never knew before, even for weeks after(Even unbeleivable, genious, or crazy things), (with subtle but intact visions),or in other words, way too much of a visual after effect.
I just recommend taking a walk on ayahuasca instead of sitting around on your ass leaving you to pass out from the intensity which is typicaly far beyand the average mushroom equivilence.
My friend however acheived a scary moment with 5 grams of mushrooms as I did with ayahuasca, that shurly challenged his existance far more than he intended, although he like myself was skilled at taking doses of shrooms at 3.5-4 grams, 500+ mg DMX(oOoOoOpse), or most importantly, even tahing 500-700 ugs of "real" acid, again and again earlier in life.
As I had, he had taken a decent few trips on shrooms, but somehow I knew he didn't fully get it because he never stopped doing large doses(often). We both knew it sat deeper in the seat of conciousness that LSD, as I could take .5 grams of shrooms and have an insanely visual experience. Although this is partly due to my understanding of the intense hall. states I had been through by myself, and with him. He would take an eighth, wait a day, and then ingest another for fun. He may have weighed a good 50-75 pounds more than me, but then again I don't tag too much value on weight as is pertains to alkaloid absorbtion into the blood-stream and it's effects on the synapses. This guy just didn't get it as far as how the trip is a voyage into the roots of conciousness, and some of these roots are not to be fumbled with if you intend on just having a "good trip".As they appear as visual/audio/tactile based alien entities or, self-dribbling basketballs of pre-laguage cognition.
I could no longer take these medium to large dosages because of a heart rate/blood-pressure/anxiety issue, yet even the visuals after our years of experience were enough to shy me away from even low dose shroom trips altogether.
So One day, he ate 5 extreemely dried grams of our own homegrowns, which typicaly were not as visually or physically intense as the commercial---super dried shrooms, yet more visionary in the way that micro-reactions and cognition is the basis for the real visions,(kind of out of controll).
He sat at home watching a favorite show, (kids in the hall at 1:00 in the afternoon). It took surprizingly long for it to come on, but when it did, it was all at once. HE would usually notice it about 5-10 minuits after ingestion(unlike most people---30 min-1 Hour), but he seemed to save it all for an unreasonably intense peak 30 min. after ingestion he could no longer understand the plot, and began putting his own stories to their words , thus further perpetuating theories of primordial language being sort of projected onto an objective reality. He got kind of weirded out by the onset although he knew from reading that 5 grams of the goods was enough for a heroic dosage. Now according to him, a generally honest individual who is very smart, says started to really lose it all of a sudden. By the sound of it he lost his ability to breath correctly, or in my experiences would forget to breath depriving the brain of oxygen, and thus eventually flooding the brain with the element so as to serve further functions designed within the trip. He got hot, then cold causing him to change his clothes. Only then he began the peak, lost his sense of self, the mind weaving aroung objects of fractal memory and the grand organizational factor that showed him the implications of his actions in relation to his environment. After the trip, he said he would never take hallucinogenic drugs again, and coming from this guy, you almost couldn't beleive it. He retreived one of the harshest lessons in the worst way, and was serious.
He was alone at his house, his cat knew something was wrong, and was scared for him(quite profound for him at the time). He fumbled about his house in a long lost effort to walk streight. Putting on and removing clothes, cringing with nausious-psychadelic pain on his king size bed. HE heard what he described to be a million conversations going on at once, they were distinguishable voices, again, with functions. God only knows what he got out of that. HE worked through it though without puking. Not that he didn't break down to me the next day crying about almost losing his life and self, as I could see how SAD he was, but extatic at the same time. He mentioned things about god, coming to terms with death, and a hint of magic. But most importantly, I saw a teary-eyed passion and a lust for connection and love that I had never seen before in him or any one else as this heavy-rock of a man cried, I cried with him because I was glad he had gotten to that place, even further than I wanted to see him go to.
HE has later told me that aside from what he learned and our beutiful conversations brought on by his experience, half of a week into the sort of recouperation process he thought about ending his own life because of a strong fear of his dis-connection with reality and society.
The point of me writing this is that he was quiet for a half of a year after this. He is still kind of weird and distant. This heroic mushroom dose was way more than he expected though he had taken similare amounts before. Dont underestimate the power of memory and the reality of what you have experienced in the occasional 12-20 hour incraments of time throughout your life. These things can influence your trip "NOW" to an astonishing extent. MOst people wouldn't have been threatened physicaly or psychologicaly by this dose, but for him it will last a lifetime. I then, with the same dose and history could more easily have ended up in the hospital due to anxiety induced respiratory and heartrate oriented difficulties, (because of axiety of my peak or destination as it gets deeper the more you take). He'll be piece mealing the small doses he takes from now on (if anything). After I did too much Ayahuasca for my second time on a similare time frame in my life as my friend, I lost it worse than he did, for weeks, and broke down to him the same way (the day after). I will never see, hear, smell, touch or think the same way again.
Lastly, losing it like we have is the only way to get the most out of it, even if you don't remotely know where the hell your destination is. Once you get there, given your individual temperments, you'll know your either there or getting closer to the shaman's secrets, because your frightened for weeks by things that you never had to think about before, this, tinted with a immortal grin of trying to understand and acheive a greater homeostasis than before your trip, as you are somehow then given access the tools to succeed at attaining that goal.