my first trip, amazonian cubensis, ego shattering and life changing in the pacific northwest.
this is the account of my first trip.
this is the account of my first trip. it was about a year ago. my friend Tim invited me over to his house to camp in his backyard and take amazonian cubensis.
i wasn't even into psychedelics at the time, but something prompted me to take them. i went to his house and we smoked some herb. we sent up the tent and brought out the stereo, bong, sleeping bags, mushrooms, water, etc.
we ate said amazonian cubensis (me a little more than a half eighth, and Tim about an eighth and a half(?)) they were dried and about half of them were closed capped. we munched them up and downed them with water. we smoked some more and Tim put on some old bob Marley (songs of freedom disc 1). it was my first time hearing it and it GREATLY set the mood. lovely music, good company, and good feelings. i was taken over by the spirit of the mushrooms and was a little bit giddy (anxious for what was to come), and thinking "clearly" (how we should all think with love and peace and beauty) for the first time in my life.
we laid back and enjoyed the music.
"do you see the face looking at us?" Tim asked
"yeah, it's like the sun man!" i said
"he keeps looking at us and he has a warm smile"
(sorry, not exact quotes.)
later Tim explained to me about the Aztec sun god "Huitzilopitchli"
*BACKGROUND* i wasn't an aggressive kid, but a somewhat socially challenged kid, with little respect for nature and those around me. i had little experience with internal peace and calm, with what true love is. i didn't have a rampant ego, but a large enough one to keep me off of the path of goodness.
*back to the report* we smoked and read high times, listened to Marley and had a great time, then i had the thought of world war two. i had little control over my mind (even before the shrooms) so i couldn't help but let it take me away.
i was in Poland on a dark, Grey day, wet dirt streets, drizzle touching my hair face and arms. i heard whistling..."THE BOMBS" havoc broke out, poor people were running everywhere with their families.
i remember being EXTREMELY restless in my sleeping bag. i saw myself from an aerial view thrashing about.
*WHAT I DON'T RECALL*
Tim said that i was yelling and being out of control at this point, he was worried about his parents coming down, but i mellowed out eventually.
*back to the report*
the bombs were falling, total hysteria in the streets.
then hitler was giving a speech (in German), hilling this and that, armies hilling and they stormed the streets shooting everyone in sight. tanks were barreling down the roads. i was in a pack of polish trying to climb over a barbed fence to get away from the nazis. they were getting shot down as they were on the fence.
now that i look back, this was the time of my complete ego dissolution
everything that is "bad" in the world (hate, greed, violence, etc) was summed up in that "vision". i saw how evil worked, how it can be combated (with love and kindness) and my ego vanished into thin air.
everything made sense for the first time to me. everything that i had learned in life (my religion (Mormon) included) was realized for the first time. my senses were refreshed to experience me for the first time as my ego less self. i understood how the world could be perfect.
after this i went into AMAZING introverted visuals that spanned throughout my whole body (not just my vision). i had puzzle like boxes that i unlocked that were floating through my body to reveal new truths and understandings. i really had no vision to speak of other than my "third eye" (spiritual vision).
i slowly started coming down (not by much lol, but enough to come back to reality) enough to smoke some more and really enjoy the tunes. the sun man was still there but he looked like his job was done, he had a content look about him.
Tim and i continued to smoke and talk a little until we drifted to sleep.
if said persons in the report read this, i thank you with all of my heart for opening me up to such wonderful things. this was my most potent journey, but the others have taught me much too. i could not completely describe my first trip until i understood myself, and the complete workings of that night. now that i can, i hope that i have done well in explaining the events that happened.