my favorite trip ever, and probably one of the last
First off, I am so inerested in responses as I have no E-mail yet,(no-posting ability).
First off, I am so inerested in responses as I have no E-mail yet,(no-posting ability).
Im not one to fabricate any bull crap about how cool and magical this stuff is. Yet this report is the climax of a perpetuating, almost reciprocating phenomena over the years, that happens to resemble T. Mckennas lessons found in the book "true hallucinations", and is way to synchronistic for me to not report the similarities. And this all happened before I read a word of his or his brother dennis's material, or any other reading material on this subject.
My two friends and I were complex and smart folks with different tolerances. The two brothers and I prepared mescaline at my house useing san pedro cacti, and lots of it. It turned out this was sort of unsuccessful (for them more so),but did last a while, it was very interesting none-the-less, even for them. Two hours later much humored fussing was going on between us as to whether or not the biggest guy should persue the mescaline some more,(we mentioned "the fear" and the majore time lag between eating and "feelin' it" with mesc.). He asked questions for his brother and I, who were seasoned users of the more intense hallucinogens and routs taken.
Interestingly, he sided with his brother whilst usually interupting me and my knowledgable commentaries. I had read alot more, and quite frankly knew more about it, but he decided he wouldnt "feel" more mescaline, (it hadn't hardly come on yet), so instead of the additional half eighth of mushrooms also being suggested, he and his bro thought "big-bro" should just "simply" eat an eighth, (my freind's brother, not mine). So he did, munched them down without taking his time, which is not something you see in a person who really respects the stuff or the cacti ingested before it. We both, aside from the guy taking this fatty cacti-mush-dose, thought this was funny though was considerably justified by my friend amidst ego-driven, brotherly conversation, yet we both couldn't wait to see the confusion that might just totally envelope him within the next 45 minuits.
It turned out I was wrong, he really didnt seem to feel the mescaline and honestly didnt seem to get very involved in the mushroom experience either,(the whole night, (except ofcoarse within the confines of an experimental triumbrate of group experience)). Though there was so much laughter and interesting cognition/humor(not based on stupidity--->aristotelianasm reference), it seemed that both brothers may have gotten just what they had "payed for", and at that point myself was included.
The brothers, having grown up together were even more in-sync than us two best friends, all of us being an almost equal whole for a while there, but there was no invlovement between the two or three that wasnt merely funny, or freaking hilariouse. Eventually, the group experience breached into the archetypal territories of the group mind, (the other two of us besides "big-brother" were only on mescaline still), though we all felt almost clarvoiant together. Appropriet although the less seasoned hallucinogen user there had had no door opening throughout his adult life.
Then the strangest things happened that I have ever experienced in a group experience. Seeing as how great this "group experience" was, given that it was involving totally different individuals, my friend ate bit by bit of a half eighth of great shrooms, as did I but less-so,because I had boiled the cacti skins and drank them, (the first of my many good suggestions overlooked by these two guys, such as light maoi use).I wasn't about to deviate from the sync. that I still had at this point with altleast my best friend, thus there was no maoi put to use that night.
The Brother That never felt the cacti/+eighth seemed to change his personality the moment we decided to enter a room with a predominant red glow. The scene change, (many stairs) lead to and obviouse confrontation caused by "big-bro", a one of ambiguouse possessiveness of his brother and cognative dissonance with his fellow trippers(brother, freind???'s????). After a silence that I thought was most appropriet after the two other less-dosed individuals had taken almost one half eighth and were peaking, "big-bro" was set off by this, as he was pitter-pattering and tip-tapping away with words/stories and was not a part of "it" anymore, and he did not feel comforitable with this silence, hense the laughing in the prior segmant of the trip report. I wont bother any one with bable about the backward flow of time, other than to hint at it in this way. See, the thing is the trip would have been totally different and other-worldy hadn't his/my best friend's older brother been there.
This guy had the balls to question my intellectual and objective relavence to himself and vicariously, to his brother, my best freind. All a reaction to a beautiful and deadening silence between what I though was the three of us. By the the way this guy (big-bro) is, and was freaking sharp in the way of book smarts, humor, logic etc,(almost intimidating and not compatible with most people).
So what ensued was wierd cause im pretty acidic when I want to be and would have been. I would have normally under any other circumstances tore his smart-ass a new one, verbaly, and although I was fully capable, I didn't, so he could sleep it off later and think about it if anything.
To elaborate, "Big-bro" thought I was being spacey and inattentive when he said something that only breached some surface of the experience. A subtilty both us seasoned "friends" found irrelivent even though we both politely reacted to this possible conversation.
SO he singled me out and in a snotty way asked me, what were origins of some random statue on some harth in my house. It belonged to my mom so I said,(in a hidden, but deeply-sarcastic fashion), "its not mine but probably some increadibly interesting aboriginal-african tribe". He was attacking me, and I saw his intention in a mill.-second and applied it. A silence ensued, again, but one of negative lingual-energy that even the instigator could see the moment he insulted himself given the natural unhindered path we had thus far experienced together,(his brother was more obviouse about this than what follows).
I looked at him(big-bro), and then toward the object of his insult, and again as the silence persisted and the truth was peaking its head out, at the same time as was himself at me, (the truth withheld in the arms of causation within the last 15 min) broke the mold that he then realized we (friends)had created. NO one was going to save him from these young ones tearing him a knew one without saying one word, as my friend, (his brother)was doing the same.
The chains that time-orientated were destroyed.
We then blasted out of this through a suggestion made ovcoarse by "big-bro", to watch the matrix animated movie of shorts. (movies are just silly while tripping, not in content but within the confines of the injustice you are doing to yourself). STill, whilst in fight or flight mode, We all watched something that ID suggest to anyone who is a fan of animated film art,and I thank him, "big-bro" for that honest releif and the great catalyzing images that ooze from the plotless mind excursion that altleast one of the shorts provides. Totally amazing, best animation ever..............
My best friend and I got up at about the same time to search for the next out, as this movie could only get less interesting from this point, (less interesting than the innerworkings of our minds). We both saw my cat at the same time from different rooms in the house, first my friend got down on the floor to catch this awsome female cat that whould inevitably let you catch her.
He slithered toward her under the table, and just like the old days without his brother, I made an ambiguouse comment about the goings on thus far with his brother earlier in the night, in a metaphore involving the ability of a 240 pound guy to sneak up on something more sensitive, we laughed the real psychadelic laughs at that point but it was the last.
We both knew what to do, My friend said he was "going to bed" but didn't, (just kept eating shrooms till he needed to leave the house, or enclosure).
I said I would set up a bed for his brother. "Big-bro" followed our plans eventually, and I set a fire for my self outside. It was sort of questionably deviant really. His room was directly above the fire and I knew he couldn'd get to sleep and also wouldn't come out and enjoy the suething fire. NOre would my best friend though he couldnt see it from the ceiling of his room. The trip was shocking and we all needed rest, but not sleep. That one stand-offish instant, and everything that lead up to it had a dynamic about it that would take up twice as much text space as I have already used.
SO I, like my best friend, then at 3:00 in the morning ate the same amount without knowing each others actions, cacti 14 inches. prior, and then (3:00AM)2-2.5 grams total of great shrooms. He set off without noticing the fire burning in the light summer morning, on my deck. (WE HAve had THE HIGHEST TOLERANCE forever, AND NOW THE LOWEST IMAGINABLE SINCE WE CAN REMEMBER, (unlike big bro). I saw so many juxtopositions of time that night(as it pertains to moving foreward) that I ate a slight bit more.
Experienceing the most intriquet depths of shrooms and psychadelics in general that night was so very present after my last minute sublingual/oral consumption, and "it" was asking me questions, an entity not of my own that was not there, here. It's intrinsicaly intelligent questioning gave me the answers as well as the questions(time-juxtaposition and the simplification of chaos theory as it pertains to the senses, consciousness and time), and if the first, or say, the fifth process hadn't occured I wouldnt have asked, or "IT" wouldnt have asked my to help it prove its-self to me.
It showed me the answers before I got there. I didnt ask the question really, it asked the question and then answered it, sometimes in reverse. As was the way of the climax more and more so throughout my life ever after.
It was the suggestion of seeking proof if I only let it ask the question and let it answer at the right moment during my selfless communication with it. My neurology followed that cue in "real time" and I cleanched my fists in during this climax, destroying the homogeneity Id seeked with my blood pressure/anxiety(was this death I asked quickly, as it was quickly answered), and got ready for that which I then knew would happen, because It was me causing it,(an over-simplification).
The wind blew circulare and HARD out of nowhere like never before as the fire snapped at me and grew larger. The retention pond across from my house only then, began creating the same smoke like fog I had suggested we go create earlier that night during the "group experience"(by our mere presance as it pertains to the butterfly effect, (my fire)). AT the same cue dogs howled all across the neighborhood as then a little girl must have found something unfavorable and screamed at 2:00 in the morning. Then, before and at the same time and reference point, a long freight train slowely envelopes me with some terrible screaching noise, uncommon and less likely than even the most random loud train. The dogs continue barking louder then, as I hear a car door close and some people talking from a greater distance, then, more voices from further down the road, a kid honks his car horn two or three times across the preverbial bay, and then, a freaking shooting star as I look to the sky in amazement for even one more moment of fulfillment of its premonition. Id say the fire(*which burned my shorts with embers flying), THEN wind, and then the shooting star were the kicker, but the inbetween was the proof. There had been silence prior to that for about two and 1/2 hours untill I, "IT" said so. As normal as this sounds I knew when it would happen.
I then, directly after, felt that I knew (it told me)what this was and I tried to talk to it because I could see and hear it too, because It was my own composition of body and the fractal mind as it pertains to DNA and evolution. It was an expression of my conscience as it relates to the past and future, and it proved the complex symbiotics between the body and mind, +external environment +time travel in it's most unique sense.
I had seen it without reason since I was a kid, (high school junior on 3-5 gel tabs of "youll never find it again acid"). IT taught me how to play the guitar, really well, without lessons.(a whole nother story involving icaros, or the shaman's songs, without ever reading about it)
Even then, an orb, a distance, height lenghth and width, and a sound I didnt beleive anyone else I knew had heard yet. I always knew that it was not mine, It belonged to everyone, though they might have not beleived me at the time. They would rather not talk about it these days after a few finally experienced it somewhat in their mid 20's.
I was given only fleeting moments with it. But the intriquesies of every vision revealed their creators which were much more perfect yet less geometrical than any other time before.
Most importantly though, they emmitted sound. I am a musician and can't even begin to synchronize the sight and sound factor, except to see them interact perfectly on a landscape with a sort of embassadore,(I wonder what would have happened if I was hanging up-side-down---kidding, a plane, get it?).
THEY were the coils that had stems, all on the head of a pin,amoungst millions of pins, and was most definately connected to these sounds of a sort of alien symphony as I could see it clearly. It oozed a quiet sound Consistantly and I issued an internal roare though it was a less goal-oriented (complex)sound than their's, and yet was right on, because they told me how, (the answer and question thing). It did not have 1 1000th of the complexity that they emitted but I was bigger perceptually,louder and had a different color scheme, yet they had less of a reaction to me than to themselves. Ihear and saw it pass through them into oblivion for the most part as I did not have the opportunity to listen to them for long enough to speak to them clearly and ask them, "it", "this hologram", these non-lingual and obviously neurological questions.
The kicker is that they laughed at me and cheered at the same time once I "spoke". Their true language was actually much louder and more intriquet than this roare. A sound I could only attribute to gods tools because Im not that damn mathamatical, musical, or visual. They then sort of kicked me out, and the last words the unmoved mover said was that greater things have been done here, in this place. and the rest of the trip consisted of a gradual waining of the voice that was in synchronicity with my external environment and internal thoughts, (still, that which is not mine).
My best friend was gone the next morning getting lost in the forest on some well marked trail, and I let his bro wake up naturally, (the guy who had eaten alot more shrooms than we along with our mescaline trip which should have been long and interesting enough by it's self at that time mark).
Some people can see and perhapse even work as a team with the secret, some just fall asleep and get billigerant when they get flustered by these strange perpetuating phenoms.
I asked him, "big-bro" how the night was that next morning. Apparently nothing interesting except visuals and regret of buying them off of us. I wont make any judgement calls here as he is a really smart guy in modern termonology.
This shit can get scary too and I know what would have happened had me and my best friend not tripped our last trip together with his brother. We would be better friends, It just confussed the both of them. Though I and maybee my friend had seen the reason in what we perpetuated in our group experience.
Since then I have proved these faculties of the human conditions and will never to go there again.
If you find this stuff interesting, get some shromms, and really pay attention again and again with the right people and are best off alone, like in death, and then you may be able to figure it all out with low-middle-high shrooms trips or ayahuasca later in life, or without it. You wont want to know that what Im saying is true, but youll possibly one day hear it and or see it, not to mention beleive in its intentions.
This was the last shroom trip ill ever go on, mainly because I think It is so intense, and the most variant in it's, lets say "abilities". That and I took ayahuasca about one year later and will never stop seeing visuals. so Im there all the time, and for the guy who wondered how long a good dose of aya lasts, forever if you knew where you were going in the hay-day of your useage.
Im not talking hppd, just a curse and a gift all rapped up into one. SHrooms can do this too by themselves, forever, but not like aya, aya is always forever.