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My 3rd Shroom Experience

I'm 51,F, 5ft 3", 145 pounds.

I'm 51,F, 5ft 3", 145 pounds. Background: I'm not unfamiliar with the effects of drugs. A few experiences with LSD in the early 70's was entertaining but too 'chemical.' Minor weed smoking most my life. A couple times with coke & speed. I rarely drink alcohol.

I now have Ps. Cyans growing in my yard each fall. I ate enough fresh for a level 3 my first time. Enough fresh for level 4 my second. Both times trip preparations were made carefully with music, environment etc. and hubby was there to help and sober. Both level 3 & 4 trips were doses taken from this sites calculater. Descriptions of 3& 4 levels were point blank right on. I take mushrooms with a spiritual mindset not for a party type high, but for enlightenment and self discovery.

Yesterday I opened my vacuum sealed bag of dehydrated cyans and measured about 4 grams on a digital postal scale. I was as careful as I could be with this measurement. I melted some chocolate in the mic and drizzled them over the dose. Chilled them and ate them at 1:30 in the afternoon. I ate these rather spontaneously and did NOT take the trip preparations for music, lighting, playthings etc. as before. (I believe this was my major error and will never forget this again!!!)

Effects came on in 20 minutes. My hubby was outside working in the yard and I had told him I might do shrooms that day, but I had not yet let him no it was a go. I had planned on being alone in the house to create an environment for self discovery.

Well this trip started out with body effects as before. There is slight nausua (only food intake was the chocolate), some muscle discomfort, back ache, but these disappear. I needed to sit because I initially become antsy, but finally can no longer get around, so I sit on floor usually, or sofa.

No music this time, just nature sounds and hubby sounds outside. Large windows afforded views of the outdoors. I was in utter awe of the beauty of these visuals. The ceiling and room seemed to reveal a spirit world that the shrooms provided a special ticket for this sort of insight. The room environment seemed quite alive with this feeling of not being alone, but surrounding me were angelic vaporous, spirit creatures from the beginning of time, of God. The room was "breathing" , every particle of everything had life in it. It was all alive. Every hair, fiber, cup, paper, chair... all were "showing" themselves to me alone.

The intensity of the visuals continued to heighten in a way nearly impossible to describe. Time was disolving, melting into dimensions of deep seated memories in my mind's eye.

But it never leveled out, it just got more severely intense. My mind got worried that I had miscalulated the dose. I called my husband and wasn't sure if I was actually speaking. Fear and paranoya set in as my body distored, my extremeties enlarged, the room was completely distorted and mishapen. It felt like the full tilt boogie trip of Alice in Wonderland. I was more afraid because I could not enjoy it anylonger. I was trying to convince my husband that something had gone wrong, that I thought I was overdosing. He was calm and non judgemental (supports me tremendously) and around 3:30 I was heavily peaking. I thought the peak would never end. I was feeling like I was disolving into this unseen with the human eye world never to return. I was apologizing to hubby. After 1 1/2 hours of heavy peaking and having to close my eyes so I could get more in tune with and feel like I had more control with reality I started to feel like I was going to be ok, but then another wave of hyperventilation and fear would set in. I went through that about 4 times. I had no ego left in me, I felt liquid with no weight, no sense of time.

I was physically able to feel huge distortion in my body and hubbies as if another being were trying to emerge from it. I got hysterical over seeing worm looking things crawling on husband. His face was the only thing that didn't distort. He had me focus on him and he had to guide me to breath because I didn't have the mental ability to operate my body. I felt totally removed from reality in a way that can only be described as becoming one with the particles of air. My body felt like vaporish filmy smoke. Evaporating into the spiritual realm that is always there, but not seen by most people. It was as if this "spirit world" was trying to inhale me. Like smoking a cigarette and inhaling the smoke through your nostril. I felt I was to become a part of the huge pulsing heartbeat of creation!

I was feeling like I could then heal with my touch. I was visualizing owls, copper animal eyes, wings. It was as if I had been transported to the beginning of time, like I was being reborn, but because I could not stableize the fear of death, I was unable to gain the insight I was seeking.

I feel like this has changed my life and the artist in me wants to desperately capture what I saw on paper. I realized also how much I can depend, lean on and totally count on my husband. That was desperately needed.

I would never recommend anyone take mushrooms by themselves, let alone this amount of dose. I want to go almost there again, but tweak it enough that it is just a bit under that level 5. It felt like a level 1000!

I hope this helps someone else. Mushrooms are an experience unlike anything that can ever be described. They are NOT party snacks! One must treat them with respect. They are a complete physical & mental experience. You must prepare for the journey.

I did finally during this trip reconcile myself that if I didn't come back that I had done this myself and I was accepting of the outcome. I felt like I was dying at the time and I gave in to it mentally, it was at that moment that my "rebirth" came about and my physical body came back into this current dimension. I feel like I saw what is on the "other" side, where we go when our earthly bodies die.

About 7 pm everything had ended. I went outside in the rain to think on what had just happened. I'm always starved afterwards. I was still a bit nauseous though and took awhile till I could eat or drink more than a sip of water. Today I have a tremendous headache.

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