Cuts to the chase.....
I am in a black emptiness, all but a pin point of light. The blackness of infinity has a shape, beveling upward, curved toward this small light dot. I am in the center coming toward the pin point. I feel a little pain as my soul rides this pointed ridge of infinity. Like the thumping of tires on the cracks of a highway. I can feel the presence of God. I can neither see him nor does he speak. That is because God is not a single individual, but an accumulation of every person that has ever lived.
As I appraoch the point of light I can hear peoples lives as they approach death. Closer and closer to the center. Coming from every side. As the universe completes and every moment of death of every person that has ever lived is reached. I can feel my own death, the similarity of feelings in others as in my own life. All who are reading this now have no clue what I a saying. Even as I was experiencing this, I thought to myself how no one would believe me later. Nor understand. God left me with the feeling that the only purpose of our lives is for him to experience the moment of our deaths. That everything we do is unimportant. I thought this and then God took me to a different part of inifinity with the same center dot of light as well as less brighter ones streaming both left and down. At the brightest dot I was in a womans life as she told someone how much she loved them. And then a guy, and many others. I was left with the feeling that these were the key moments in a person's life. That love is the only important thing in our lives. There is so much more detail that now escapes me. It was all to complex, as well as relevant only to my own life experiences. For an instant I was in the head of a baseball player as he hit a home run, and then a woman's head as she had her moment of accomplishment, happiness, true love. I assume that the bright dot is true love, and each lesser light was less love and great accomplishments. I know I am totally over simplifing this. And that I am a meer human trying to understand God's actions. In all this I thought about my mother's disapointment as she learned of my death due to mushrooms. I felt ready for death and what was next. Not that there was. I also thought "is this it, nothing further to look forward to ? Just exist like this for all of eternity ?" floating, directionless. But it also dawned one me that during my living through everybody's moment of death since the beginning of man, I was not in my own body. We are all drops of water in a large ocean. God is that ocean, and each of us are but one drop. When we die our personal identity is all but lost. That has to be that way. A fully active mind in the emptiness of infitinty would go insane.
I spent a moment of time in a countless number of peoples heads. I kept thinking how pointless all the things we do in life are. In the end it was the moment of death that God seemed most interested in.
In case anyone is wondering, I was on Amanita Panterina. The toxicity is greatly over rated. I say to others to give it a try.
Thanx for reading