man on a mission

Well this should be interesting trying to explain an experience that I still don't really understand.


Setting: My friend's house. His dad was out of town and seven of us were eating shrooms. Joe was the only person in the group who had ever eaten them before. Andy was the person who was supposed to stay sober to make sure that if any of us started freaking out, that everything would be okay. Max, Eric, Trevor, Rawley and I were the first timers. The shrooms were from a friend of mine who had shroomed many times who told me they were the best he'd ever eaten. Now having shroomed many times, I still think they were the best.


Friday in Oct. 2000: Throughout the entire day of school I was extremely excited and very nervous about what we were going to do that evening. We all talked about it and couldn't wait until 8:00p.m. which was the time we had decided to meet up and eat them.


8:00p.m. We all sit around a large glass table and begin dividing up the mushrooms using a scale. Each of us had bought an eight which was weighed out to 4.2 grams. We devoured them and each took three vitamin C tablets. Andy sat around in somewhat of a bad mood because he wasn't able to eat them with us.


8:30p.m Evin, the guy who's house it was, puts on some techno music, I actually don't know who the artist was, and we all are sitting in the living room. The lights are dim, and we're all smoking bowls. I'm feeling a little bit of nausea, and am VERY excited. I begin to start to giggle, my body high is intensifying and we all start talking about what we feel. As we talk, often one or more of the group would start laughing uncontrollably for a few seconds, for no apparent reason, and then stop. I look at the ceiling and can see patterns slightly flowing through the texture.


9:00p.m. I am now lying on the floor with my friend Max. We have all started to trip out a little bit and aren't really talking as much. Everybody sort of strays off into smaller groups of one or two. Anyways...max and I are on the floor and I'm looking at his face, the lights have been dimmed in the entire house, and the music is playing (he has digital music throughout the entire house), and his face begins to morph slightly. He looks at me in horror and asks what's wrong with my face? I answer I don't know, and get up to go to the bathroom to check it out. He wanders the opposite direction looking confused. I'm still able to think clearly at this point, but I am definately on my way into fantasy land. I pass a few others concentrating on strange things throughout different rooms as I reach the bathroom. I turn on the light and am suprised to see myself staring at myself. Yet my face is completely distorted and disgusting looking, almost as if I was a zombie, y'know the death look? This scares me and I begin talking to myself to assure myself that I'm okay. Feeling my skin, it feels like liquid rubber and I'm getting really freaked out by the image in the mirror. My voice sounds strange too. The vocals aren't normal, deeper then lighter...I leave the bathroom and decide I hate that room, it's evil and I shall not attempt to go anywhere near it for the rest of the night.


10:00p.m. No one is anywhere to be seen in the house and everything I look at is moving. The walls seem to be breathing and the carpet beneath me looks almost like white grass that is growing and then sucking itself back into the floor. Colors are swirling and the music is definately controling my trip. I hear a voice coming from the basement and decide to investigate. There are no lights on in the basement, and I am having an extremely difficult time trying to navigate. I am freaked out. I hear my name being called but softly from a room at the end of the hall and the light is on, but the door is closed. As I walk toward the room the light turns off and the sliver that was guiding me disappears. I stop awstruck with fear and am paralyzed as I hear my name from behind me. I walk swiftly toward the room and rush through the door turning on the light. I am releived to find Joe sitting on the floor with his eyes fixated upon a candle. He tells me to turn the light off and sit down with him. We begin talking about nonsense. Nonsens is literally the only way to describe it. We each want to tell each other stuff, but we can't listen to what the other is saying, and at the same time have no idea what the hell we're talking about. I light up a cigarette and take a few deep breathes realizing that my fear has vanished. The flickering candle creates insane hallucinations in the shadows. I see what looks like bubbles on the wall that are some sort of black liquid. Joe is still rambling about the candle. I ask if we should leave. He says..."seems like a good idea." So we blow out the candle and just get up and walk back upstairs. As I reach the top of the stairs I run into Rawley, he asks what time it is and I look at my watch, I am shocked to see that it's only ten minutes after ten. I turn around to tell Joe and find that he isn't there. Puzzled I ask Rawley if he wants to go outside and have a smoke. He tells me I should put out my butt first, which I didn't even take a drag off of and let ash all over the place like a moron. We go outside and i ask him if he's seen any of the other guys. He tells me that only person he's see is Eric who was in the garage sitting on the floor. This confuses me and I walk into the yard. Looking around, nothing is real. It's like a dream world. Trees look like cartoons bobbing around in the moonlight. The wind begins to blow and I sit in the cool grass staring up at the stars. I close my eyes and listen to the sound of the wind and hallucinations begin to enter my mind along with natures humming. I see colorful streaks and feel as though I am sinking into the ground. I am definately peaking. I open my eyes and look at my watch. It's 10:30, I look around and Rawley's gone. Unlike when Joe disappeared, this worries me. I become determined to find Rawley. I walk around the side of the house. Stopping every few steps to examine some sort of visual and ponder it's creation and what not. I remember my mission and embark around the house and out into the street where I come across Trevor and Eric who are talking and looking at a rubber duck. I go to talk to them and they look at me in a strange way and turn to walk away from me. I ask them to stop. Trevor turns around stroking the duck and says, "you will never understand." "what?" I ask...he turns and they continue to walk away. I yell..."have you seen rawley?" and they keep walking only to say, "you'll never understand." This pisses me off. I can't figure out what the hell they're talking about and walk the other direction toward an alley. I walk into the alley and the horizon zooms up to my vision from far away and I almost fall over. I walk along the fenceline in the alley and come across a shrub. I stare at the shrub and a face forms in it's green pattern. It looks like an old man. I think it's talking to me...telling me to forget about Rawley and find the answer. I ask the bush what the question is and it doesn't respond. The face turns into a swirling pattern and I ask again, but there's no response. I am so overwhelmed that I sit down in the alley and think about what's going on. When I sit down the pavement feels like ice cold clay and everything is moving crazily. From this point on I have no idea what happened for the next half hour or so, but at the next vivid memory I have is at around 11:30. I am a few blocks away sitting on a curb smoking a cigarette and out of nowhere Rawley comes walking up the street. He looks like he's miles away, and then all of the sudden he's right in front of me. He has news....
He tells me to come to the house and he'll tell me on the way. He tell me Andy, the tripsitter, got drunk and is pissed and off on the streets somewhere. He says that he's possessed and that we have to get to the house for safety. We walk through the street and run into Trevor and Eric again who are back at the same spot staring at something again and talking about their duck. I walk up to them to convey the message that Rawley has told me. Rawley stammers something about how..."he's coming!" and darts off toward the house. I tell trevor and eric to come with me and they shrug me off. I get pissed and grab the duck and throw it at the yard. Eric looks at me and seriously had tears in his eyes. He just sits down without saying anything and trevor can't take his eyes off the duck as it rests in the grass. At that moment I turn to see Andy stumbling up the street. Everything is still like a dreamworld and I automatically freak out. Scared shitless I run for the house hearing Andy call my name out in a drunken haze. He runs after me. It takes an eternity to reach the steps up to the house and I turn to see where he has gone. But he isn't anywhere. Trevor and Eric are gone too. I walk into the house and find Max, Joe and Rawley sitting talking about what they have to do about Andy. I want no part of this and head toward the living room. I find evin sitting on the couch listening to music. I sit down and we talk as though we haven't seen each other in years. He tells me to watch the time counter on the cd player. I watch and realize that the seconds move extremely slowly. Each tick of the clock seems to take a minute. We sit in awe and I close my eyes and sink into the couch. I don't remember much about the next fifteen minutes other than the fact that nothing in my head made sense. It was like my senses all acted as one large indicator. The music created colorful images in my mind and I loved it. I woke up to the voice of Eric telling me to look at the hallway. He tells me that it's the pathway to hell. This is the same hallway that leads to the bathroom, in which I had a bad experience earlier. We look in awe and slowly everyone is attracted. Staring, I feel a sense of pure evil sweep through the room. To ALL of our astonshment, Andy come walking out of the bathroom and down the hall. He realizes that he scares us and is loving it. He walks towards us talking quietly about terrible, disgusting and disturbing things. Images flash through my mind of the worst imaginable things I could ever fathom. We run outside, and then Rawley, Max and Joe tackle Andy into the grass as he walks outside. We all run back inside and lock him out. It's now 1:45! I'm beginning to worry about whether or not I will ever be normal again. We decide to stick together and sit in the living room and chat. My hallucinations have lightened and slight visual patterns and movement can still be seen.


2:00a.m. We are all talking and talking and talking. That's it. Just talking about random shit. My mind is playing games with me and I am fed up with it. I start thinking about how wonderful shrooms are and how I need to change my life in accordance with the laws of shroom-land. Don't ask.....For the next hour or so we sit around and keep talking.


3:00a.m. I get up thinking that I'm sober. And walk to the kitchen. I see Andy outside sleeping on the grass. I open the door and yell at him. He doesn't move. I'm too afraid to go see if he's okay, thinking he's playing a trick on me. I walk to the living room to tell the rest of the guys and when we walk back to the door, he's gone. Instantly we were all tripping out again. Not peaking or anything, but it sort of re-instated the trip. I sat down not really worried about it, but I realized that if I focussed I could still see things moving and what not. Andy came out of the bathroom about ten minutes later and passed out on the floor drunk. I went to the living room and everyone was falling asleep except Joe and Rawley. We cooked some food and then found places to sleep.


Saturday 11:00a.m. I wake up in the morning on Saturday and find that everyone has already left except Evin who is cleaning up the clutter from the night before. I try to talk about my trip with Evin, but he doesn't seem interested. I leave and don't see any of the guys until the next Monday.


That was my trip. After analyzing the trip further when my head had completely cleared I realized what the theme was. The title "man on a mission" refers to the fact that throughout this trip I was searching for something. I was searching for the answer to a question that I didn't know. This trip was intense. It had scary moments that I loved after they occured, moments of euphoria, INTENSE body highs that left me feeling like I didn't have a body, and basically I was living a dream for 6 hours. I have shroomed 8 times since this particular incident, and none have even compared. This story doesn't even explain the half of it, which anyone who has shroomed understands. But if you have shroomed you probly get the picture. Those who haven't probably think I'm embellishing and that this story sounds ridiculus, but you can't truly understand or talk about shrooms unless you've experienced them for yourself.