At first I wasn't going to write a trip report since anyone who has tripped before will tell you that words cannot begin to communicate the experience. However, it seems like a good idea to record each of my trips for future benefit. Sorry for the length, but it seems a bare pittance of everything that I would like to communicate.
Where to begin? I suppose that it is appropriate to detail a little about myself prior to my first mushroom experience. I consider myself as curious about a good deal of substances, but my experience to date has only been with marijuana, xtc, and mushrooms. I have only 'rolled' once, but I have been a toker for nearly four years. I am completely enamoured with the effects of herb, and only use the substance to achieve heightened/diverse states of consciousness. In other words, I am not one who uses a substance to get 'fucked up'. To do so is very shortsighted and a waste of my time. I am a person who likes to get out and experience life while high, rather than sitting on my ass at home.
With that out of the way, I finally came into possesion of 1/8th oz. of dried mushrooms a few weeks ago. Mushrooms are very hard to come by in my area, and I was overjoyed at finding them after nearly 2 years of trying. After much reading and mental preparation, I and a good friend set our calendars for a friday night. As it turned out, my friend backed out because of other obligations. I decided to go solo for my first trip. Let me state beforehand that tripping solo for the first time is not recommended. If you do, please, please mentally prepare beforehand. But as I had already stated, I had been positively focused on this experience for nearly a week prior to my trip. The day of, I made sure to fast so that I would trip on an empty stomach. I even planned my music selection beforehand. As it turned out, all my preparation would not prepare me for what I experienced.
Following the suggestions of my friends, I felt that half of the 1/8th oz. I had purchased would be the ideal amount for my first trip. Based on the trip scales of shroomery.org, I was aiming for a solid level 2/3 trip. I ingested the mushrooms at around 6:30 on friday afternoon. Despite all the initial expectations of mushroom taste, I really didn't find the taste to be disagreeable. I made sure to completely chew the mushrooms before swallowing as I was told that this would enhance the strength of the trip and increase the onset time.
Thirty minutes later I was feeling mildly euphoric and colors generally seemed to be brighter. This lasted for only a couple minutes before it faded. 1hr. after ingesting the mushrooms and I began to feel that I got ripped off. 1) the mushroom didn't taste as badly as expected...maybe weaker? 2) 1hr. had passed and I felt nothing. However, I decided to stay positive and wait a little longer since I had read that the effects for some require 1hr30 minutes. At around 1hr.40min. I started to feel something. At around 1hr.50 minutes I felt high, much in the same way as with weed. Since I had read that marijauana can positively effect the trip, I decided to pack a bowl of some of my own homegrown herb. In retrospect, this would be the turning point.
At 2hr.10min. I noticed the true effects of mushrooms. I was unaware at this point of what was to come. Most people will want to know how the trip ended. As I stated earlier, I was shooting for a level 2/3 trip. Afterwards, I am still unable to neatly categorize the strength of my trip. However, my experience falls within a level 4/5 trip. Yes, I did state a level 5. I was completely unprepared for this and I had several brief anxiety attacks as a result. I was so thankful that I prepared beforehand by becoming as knowledgable as possible. Anyhow, I am getting ahead of myself....
At 2hrs.10min, I noticed little trails of geometric patterns in my vision. By this time, I was completely euphoric and generally in a bubbly/laughing mood. At this point, things still felt similar to being high from weed, but slightly different. The patterns themselves broke into red/blue/yellow components and overwhelmed all of my vision. Everything in my field of vision seemed to be breathing slightly and the geometric patterns were everywhere. A couple minutes later I found that I could draw moving/flowing patterns of the red/blue/yellow pixels simply by thinking about it. This fascinated me completely and I remember just laughing out loud at this realization. All the while the effects were coming on much quicker and I found that I was becoming slightly disoriented. I decided to lay down on the bed. Let me reiterate that I cannot even begin to put into words what
I was experiencing. All I can do is describe the effects, and not the connotative experience.
----Things get Going----
After laying down on my bed, I began to notice that the walls were 'breathing' much more noticably. Upon shifting the focus of my attention from object to object, I noticed that the edges began to 'peel' away. This is when the morphing began. I was completely unprepared for this. According to trip reports, this effect should not set in noticibly for a level 2/3 trip. It was starting to frighten me. At this point, I was completely in control of my conscience, but space and time started to distort. There is utterly no possible way to describe this, but people who have experienced this state will know what I am talking about. I was now experiencing a slight panic attack since I realized that I must have overshot the level of trip I had aimed for. At this point, it was obvious that I was still 'going up' so I kept repeating to myself that this was all a part of the experience. This would prove to be the hardest part of the trip. In retrospect, I should have had a guide for such an unexpected occasion. I had not mentally prepared to trip this hard and it was increasingly frightening me.
Let me say, that for the first time, it is very very frightening when time disappears. That is exactly what happened. Time and space became concepts that had no meaning. It sounds terribly derivative or cliche to state this, but there is no other way to communicate this state of conciousness. All the while I kept repeating to myself that this was only a part of the drug. I began to relax and settle into the trip. It was at this point that I really
started to enjoy the experience. However, the indoors started to feel incredibly fake. I can’t explain, but the outdoors seemed to be calling. I had the hardest time making my way outside, but once I did, everything seemed to settle into place. Let me reiterate that time completely disappeared. I was not prepared for this effect, and I had a hard time relaxing. Once I made it outside though, the nature of my trip dramatically changed.
Although the outdoors were vastly more comforting, it was at this point that I had the most difficulty with my trip. I had a very, very, very, very tough time distinguishing between the real world and what I was experiencing. If anyone has seen the movie, The Cell, then you’ll know what I mean when I say that ‘what your mind thinks is real, becomes real’. I just completely drifted into a time/space void. Some people might wonder what this is like. It is very hard to explain. When I say void, some peole might infer a blackness/hole, but this is completely unlike the experience. I can't really associate a color with it, or a definitive feeling. If I were to associate any color with it though, it would be silver/white. My mind/conscience felt miles away from my body although I was able to interact with the real world. The geometric patterns of red/blue/yellow still continued to dominate all of my vision. Visually, everything just seemed to 'breath' and morph into adjacent opjects.
The one thought that I still hold onto is the feeling of christ/enlightenment. Saying that I felt like a Christ figure seems terribly egocentric, and perhaps I mis-state the feeling. It wasn't so much a feeling of being christ, but one of feeling that it was ‘my’ duty to show/awaken the ‘rest of the world’ to a higher state of being. Let me explain first. During this point, my complete state of being was going through a phase that I can only describe as trying to 'wake up' into a higher state of conciousness. It was at this point that I think my mind might have teetered on the brink of instability. I constantly felt as if I were 'below water' and could not break above the surface. This scared the crap out of me at the time. I think that if I experience that feeling again, I will be mentally prepared. But at the time, I was not prepared to handle such a thing.
Consciousness now felt as though it were divided into several plateaus and that I was on the edge of discovering the next level. My state of being felt as if this were the 'true' state of being and that normal conciousness was something that I were constrained to on a daily basis.
Also, there seemed to be some sort of presence surrounding me. I couldn't put my finger on it, but at the time it felt incredibly divine. This is the presence that felt as though I were being tugged into a 'higher' state of being. In other words, it felt as if I were not in control of the trip, and that I was slowly being called/pulled by something else that remained entirely invisible. Something seemed to be telling me that my mind could function entirely outside my body and that the body itself was useless. This sounds as though I'm bordering on the verge of mental illness, but there is literally no other way to explain it. During all this, I never did really reach that state of conciousness. Although I could feel it, and my mind seemed to be screaming 'wake up', I never did actually experience this higher state since it felt as though my body/senses were somewhat restraining me.
Perhaps this is what people refer to as 'enlightenment'. Or perhaps I actually experienced a version of 'enlightenment' simply because I was enabled to glimpse/feel what was above me. During this time, I seemed to gain a better understanding of death. Death not in the physical sense, but what the mind must experience as it crosses states upon death. All this is very difficult to explain, but I know of no other way. Also, I seemed to gain a greater understanding of my senses. For the first time, I felt as though I knew what it was like to be blind. This is not because I was blind (in fact everything I saw was full of color and ‘life’). Rather, for the first time I truly gained an understanding of the how our mind controls the senses.
At this point, it dawned on me that I had walked the same path outside around my apartment complex three times. I found it humorous, but I became very paranoid at the same time since I knew it made me appear very suspicious. I seemed to be coming down from the trip, so it seemed like a good idea to go back inside. All the while time/space were completely useless concepts, but with focus, time seemed to settle back into place. It was still very distorted, but being able to control time seemed make me more relaxed.
As it turned out, going inside was a very good idea. At this point, I was completely in control of manipulating space simply by thinking about it. I did not stumble upon this anywhere else from other trip reports, but I could completely control my environment simply by thinking of it. I turned on the TV and sat down on the couch.
I was definitely coming down from my trip and realizing this fact seemed to relax me immensely. I found it very enjoyable to manipulate my vision into patterns simply by thinking of it. In other words, I could form patterns in the walls or cause large ripples in the walls simply by imagining it. I was now back into a euphoric/bubbly state. This was perhaps the most gratifying segment of my trip.
I was completely entertained by the ability to form patterns. Closing my eyes, I found that the patterns still persisted. It was now 11pm and a full 3hrs since I began the trip. Coming down off the trip was very smooth and very pure feeling. I've heard that coming down off LSD can lead to a very slimy/dirty feeling. Coming down from a mushroom trip is nothing like this. It is the most calm, gentle experience you can imagine. Very gratifying in itself. It was at this point that I decided to take a shower since I had been walking outside in the dirt/mud while barefoot (heh, this didn't dawn on me until afterwards). Taking a shower while coming down ended up being a gratifying as well. The water droplets were fascinating as they visually broke down into their component colors of red/blue/yellow.
As I finished coming down, I felt extremely elated, with a sense of newness about the world. I wanted to call up everyone I knew and tell them what I experienced, but I knew that this was not a good idea. As it turned out, I ended up calling one friend and my conversation consisted of "fuck dude, you just don't know...i can't explain, fuck, oh my god, damn you wouldn't believe...this was the craziest feeling, damn, i can't explain...etc, etc). Heh, not my finest moment in conversation, but humourous nonetheless.
---Thoughts and Impressions----
Admittedly, the peak of the trip scared me out of my mind. Being alone was NOT a good idea by any means, but as I was coming down from the trip I became very satisfied that I had dealt with the experience rather than freaking out. Let me re-phrase the part about being alone. I think that if I had experienced the trip that I had planned for, tripping solo would have been a non-issue. However, mentally dealing with such a powerful trip for the first time was immensely difficult for me. I suspect that some people might have not been able to handle this. In fact, I seriously doubt I could have handled the experience had I not done a lot of reading beforehand.
Would I recommend the experience? Fuck yeah! It was the most eye-opening, spiritual experience of my entire life. I am definitely looking forward to the next time, and I have no need to be apprehensive. Any regrets? Yes, and no. Although at the time I wished that my trip hadn't been so strong, afterwards it did not bother me as much. In fact, I was actually pleased that I had dived in, rather than waded in, so to speak.
Impressions? Hrmm, even after the fact, I am still baffled that half of an 1/8oz had such an effect upon me. Perhaps (and I suspect this is the primary reason) smoking a bowl right before the onset of my trip was the deciding factor. However, I am still curious why it took so long for the trip to start. By all accounts, I should have been tripping after 40min. rather than 2hrs.10minutes. Even more baffling considering the fact that I fasted beforehand, and thoroughly chewed the mushrooms before swallowing. Perhaps my body composition is slightly different than most. Is is interesting to note that when I rolled X, it took 1hr20min. for effects to kick in. This is generally twice the expected time, and probably hints that my body processes chemicals slower than average.
Any lasting effects? There were no permanent effects afterwards. I woke up the next morning feeling very refreshed. However since the trip, I have been most pleased to discover slight residual effects. Whenever I am high after smoking a bowl, I can close my eyes and visualize the geometric patterns that I experienced while tripping. Mind you, the colors are not nearly as brilliant. But I think that this, in and of itself, is very interesting and an added bonus.