Long read, so if you don't bother reading it, I understand.
Long read, so if you don't bother reading it, I understand.
It was around [B]3:00[/B] PM when I decided to try out the shrooms I bought from my new hook-up. Kid appearantly said those are one of the strongest ones you can find around here. When I smelled them I could tell they resonated with strong psilocybin reek. I was convinced they were strong, but being inexperienced with shrooms I didn't know how strong.
Around [B]3:20[/B] PM I started watching [I]Harold and Kumar go to White Castle[/I], funny movie. I laughed quite wildly at how bizzarre the whole script was written. At this point I was still chewing on shooms. I decided to eat small spore like mushrooms (undeveloped ones) leaving big ones for later on the night.
20 Minutes later I looked at my computer box and looked how it seemed to arch sideways, I tried to adjust my eyes (mentally) and it changed back to normal. At this point I lost the track of time, I'm guessing 40-50 mins in the movie I started feeling a bit paranoid, but I tried to relax and fear slowly disappeared. 10 minutes later I looked out the window and saw my palm tree/bush looking weird, so I understood they were kicking in. Couple of minutes later I saw a big butterfly insect fly into my open window. I was startled but realized it was a hullucination. A minute or 2 later I saw a spider running on my bed (around pebble size one) and it was real in every way, the way it moved and crawled in nearby objects. It proceeded towards me, I wasn't scared but I was a bit concerned to what a fuck is spider doing in my room. I tried to flick it with my middle finger and missed...suprisingly it flew at the perfect gravity proportion of the insect being flicked away when in fact I missed it. It crawled away quickly. I jumped towards it to varify if it was real. It was nowhere there. That's was a bad Omen to me at this point. Things seemed like they are going to get ugly. I still hoped nothing is going to happen.
Around 4:20 I tried calling my friend for the 15th time, he didn't reply, which kinda scared me at this point, considering I could see every trait of the bad trip coming on. Finally he picked up. I tried to sound sober but I was speaking weird to myself (my friend later told me like it seemed I was very distant in the conversation). He was on the date (which really sucked for me, since he usually came over 15 minutes after I usually got a hold of him) I told him about the spider, and I was still unsure if it was real. I told him that I took shrooms. He responded laughing: "You are going to be FUCKED UP! HAHAHAHA" , I tried to laugh but laugh was not sincere, I laughed with insanity thinking of the consequences of my actions. He said that he will come over [I]2 hours[/I] later and knowing he never keeps his promise I was in dispair thinking that 2 hours is way too much. I hung up with cold thoughts on my mind. My mind was racing at this point. I heard some kind of the noise in the living room. I knew it was coming on.
At 4:50 I started feeling uncomfortable, my mind was telling me to leave my parent's house and either leave for my house or go to my other friend before it's too late. I got my shit together and sat in the car, already feeling loss of gravity and disability to tell peception of angles. Everything that I've done at this point seemed like it was done by itself, closing of the car door, turning the ignition, it was all done by somebody else but not me. It was Friday and being in AZ at 5:00 PM is the worst to drive, cars were doing good 60Mph, and racing down the streets with no care in the world. Most of the people are already drunk at this hour here, and it felt wrong in every possible way. I proceeded to get on Union Hills, but cars started freaking me out, I took another road and car seemed like it flew like a rocket shifting space like an Enterprise ship (yeah-yeah that dimension shifting feature on it). I got only to 40th Street from 48th and by then I felt it was too much for me. I've forgotten where my friend lived. I tried to gather thoughts, but seemed like I couldn't even make an logical sentence in my head. I was panicking thinking if I go further I will crash in some car. I turned back pulling over to think, I couldn't. I just wouldn't have time to get to his house. It was kicking in hardcore now. I had to come back.
Around [B]5:10[/B]-ish I came back and got out the car. Seemed like I wasn't even in there to begin with. My belt buckle seemed in same place even though it wasn't. I got in the house feeling effects kicking in way too much. Whole house seemed like it was full of presence (people, spirits you name it). I called my friend saying that I can't drive, he was laughing. I proceeded towards backyard thinking I will maintain. When I sat in the chair seemed like the space around the Gazeebo was missing protection for my aura, felt like I needed to move the plant pots to create my own aura circle (Insanity level 1).
The Plants were reaching for me in a violent way, aura was emerging from plants in violent form, I came back in the house, nearly falling the pool. Everything inside seemed to take an aura, my whole house which is in a lot of ways made like a cathedral seemed to live with an aura like in Soul Reaver 2.
I was freaking out deep inside now. I started moving inside and outside of the house with no change. Chaos was upon me. I tried to sit still outside. Yet my body and soul were not connected, I was freaking out. I can't remember much for at least 30 minutes after that.
I tried to calm down it was worthless. Everywhere I looked objects had aura that was evil in a lot of ways. Aura was changing to horn shapes like a devil, kinda like this, but longer and more acute:
I was tripping balls. I went into my room and started thinking about getting caught by my parents, and visiting their house to be caught was not good at all. I started contemplating. I tried to bring my high down as the shapes made me sick in my head. I layed in my bed thinking that I'm going to get busted, thinking about how my parents are going to react to me on drugs, since I couldn't seem sober to myself (which was very bad), I thought about my friend coming over and it was weird too how he is going to be here and I'm dying, my other friend thinking that I'm fucked up too...I didn't care. I only cared about my parents. I tried to go to sleep. It was clear that I couldn't sleep as shroom high was increasing 5 fold with eyes closed. My soul was restless to the point I couldn't lay still without every part of my body in agony. That was like a part of Hell that I experienced in my room.
As I layed down I started moving my head like in the seizure, my teeth were clicking like I was on X, my body disconnected from my mind. I was grinding my teeth, trying to force the high out of me. It was pointless. I started hullucinating BAD all the shapes got changed, and my roomed turned diablo red, shadows were racing on the walls. I saw skulls everywhere, everywhere I looked, even inside my soul. I looked at Jesus, Holy Mary and Holy Spirit icon in the room and it was changing into evil shapes, halo was turning into the horns. I was dying, my soul was dying. As I stood up in my bed, I felt like talking to God is the only way I can live. As I layed down I couldn't believe God exists, I couldn't understand concept of tomorrow, to me time was unexistant. I read the time, it was [B]6:31 [/B] PM, but it was irrelevant to my spirit. My moms voice racing in my head speaking sternly how bad the drugs are (she said it in the past), my mind kept replaying same Tech N9NE verse for 10 Million times:
[B]"[I]Insanity, calamity, awaits you stuck in Amitty[/I]" [/B] as in Amitty Ville
I had to get out of the room it was driving me crazy, I ran towards the shower, turning the coldest possible position, trying to bring temperature down. Seemed like I flied through space rather than walked. The second I was in the room, next one I was in the shower. I got out...more like flew out the shower trying to put my boxers back on, vision seemed like it was upside down. I barely put my clothes on. Went back into bed, but same thoughts were on my mind. The room had its own mind driving me crazy in every possible way. I went to the bathroom again. I had four eyes. My vision racing horizontally made me sick, I wanted to puke, I tried helplessly. My mind was replying the scene out of [I]Face Off[/I] with Nicholas Cage when he is in the bathroom, only 10 times worse.
I started drinking out of the faucet trying to get enough water in to be able to puke. I wondered if I can drown myself my drinking too much, I didn't care. Thought of suicide entered my mind, I wanted to bash my skull against the corner of the table in the bathroom to end the pain, but I knew Hell would be the outcome.
My cat was terrified, as he felt how I agonized I was inside, his eyes full of horror and sorrow, I tried to calm him down, as I knew and he knew he can't do anything for me.
7:00 PM I went into the living room, which had a mind of it's own, everywhere I looked it was making shapes of the objects and replaying it in my brain. I started talking to my cat and then proceeded outside again, every part of my body, mind and soul in complete agony. What made it worse that it was COMPLETE SILENCE, EVERYWHERE! No air conditioners working at night, no people in the backyards, only some guy starting to start a chain saw, or a water bike in his backyard (not sure if it was real).
I was talking to my cat for what seemed like hours, saying -God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God-God...it was chaos. I couldn't find rest even for a second. After [B]7:10[/B] I managed to make tee to cleanse my system, before I was thinking about diving into cold pull and waiting for my body to dehydrate itself and get the poison out, but I knew I would probably die of hypothermia or lung inflamation as it is cold as fuck.
My cat helped me just by being there, he probably is the only reason for me not killing myself yesterday. All reasoning was gone. I was talking with no sense to myself, like: "God how can I be there when I'm there" or "I will never take shrooms, I'll take them"
Around 7:45 I was racing around the house, scenery changing from me going into my room being insane in one way, and going to a bathroom and trying to puke to going into the kitchen and tweaking out, or going outside and freaking out. My process was on repeat. I understood how devil wants to make men kill themselves, and how insane people blow their brains out. Because they can't stop this agony and pain.
I learned a lot about this trip, like what kind of an asshole I am when I'm sober, how little did I care about my family. It really changed me. I couldn ramble about my experience for hours, but you get my point. I realized how pointless time is, it's the essance of feeling that makes the time worthwhile, and family around us, and even my cat became the best friend I ever had. It's a billion word experience, and I would not wish an enemy to have the experience that I had yesterday of eternity of pain in just 4 agonizing hours.