Dosage - 5 grams of psilocybe cubensis cambodia taken 30 minutes after 3 grams of ground Syrian Rue I went over to a friend's apartment on an early sunday morning when we had been planning to trip together.
Dosage - 5 grams of psilocybe cubensis cambodia taken 30 minutes after 3 grams of ground Syrian Rue
I went over to a friend's apartment on an early sunday morning when we had been planning to trip together. We had 5 grams of dried Cambodias we were planning to split and to make it go further we had plenty of syrian rue. Syrian rue is a MAOI and can greatly increase the intensity of a trip, though it may have other effects too, like changing the mood and type of trip you have.
My largest trip before this was 3 grams with no enhancer, so in the interests of seeing what a real lvl 5 was about, I consumed them all. Definitely a bad idea, but I had never had any problems controlling other substances so I figured shrooms would pose no challenge even in a high dose. A bad assumption to make.
I took the cambodias at about 9am and then the shrooms at 930.
Sooner after that I felt the syrian rue hit my stomach, and it felt like I had eaten glass shards. My stomach was turning and roiling, and I was praying to throw up. My friend tried to help, but mostly i just curled up in the fetal position. THis lasted for about an hour, but quickly went away as the real trip came on.
I sat around watching the effects start to come on, the walls beginning to roll and the carpet take strange patterns and gain depth. It is always hard for me to guage the passing of time when tripping, but this went on for a little while while I fell deeper and deeper into the trip and further from my usual self.
After a while I was tripping very hard, but was able to walk around and was curious about the world I was in. THe apartment seemed like the entire world and I was curious about its makeup. I would walk around looking at my trip sitter and the kitchen and objects in his apartment in awe.
The place seemed huge, and what had once been a short hallway became a long and difficult passage.
Eventually I could only lay on the bed and I started to lose myself and everything I knew. The world and realities not only were slipping away but they became difficult to understand. I felt as if my body and mind were separating, and that my conciousness was not part of my body. I told my friend I might be departing and that i needed him to take care of my body unit because I might have need of it later. I started feeling my conciousness approach a barrier. It seemed like a barrier of both sanity and life. I knew if I gave up control and went with the trip, I could pass the barrier of and then I would be without limitations or controls or anything our mind faces in the real world. but it would also mean losing control, and giving up all the responsibilities society makes for us. I tried to go beyond it, but I failed.
At this point I was laying on the floor.
As I lay there the small ability I did have to understand the real world fled me, and I was struggling to grasp onto anything at all. I could not understand anything or grasp anything. I thought I was going insane and then I couldnt understand what that meant. Usually on a trip I can tell myself to just wait it out and watch the clock if it goes bad, but I couldnt understand how time worked. I understood there were 4 numbers on the clock and they needed to move forward for me to get out of the trip, but I didnt see how to move them. My mind felt liek it was frying inside my head and that I would be stuck there forever until I went insane. I felt I would be uncontrollable and would be insane the rest of my life and that i would hurt people because I couldnt stop or control myself.
All of a sudden, my reality flipped inside out. The world I regularly lived in was gone, and even the world where low trips take place was gone. I was existing in a dimension. It was frighting and amazingly relieving at the same time.
I understood I was a lone being and that I had to survive. I thought the person was trip sitting me was a competing being and that he was trying to kill me, which is why I was so weak and laying on the floor. I knew that I had to get up and escape from him or I die and my dna, my essence, would be wiped clean from the face of the universe.
At this point I and stared into the ceiling light and felt I was finally comprehending what I truly was and how the universe truly worked for the first time in my life. Everything looked alien, but I also understood that I was the ruler of this domain. Not a god, but simply in my own world. Everything was in my control. it was a complete release from everything I had been and everything human. I was a god in my own realm.
I ran out of the apartment and out into the suberbial town where I lived.
I felt an amazing power in my body, and a wisdom and patience I never had before as I ran. The sky was brilliant blue and the trees were amazing and living beings which shared my world. I ran as long as I could toward the sun. I was running across busy streets and through neighborhoods with no regard. It felt like I wa gliding through a reality I made up as I went. I felt like a young, powerful god moving through his world with purpose and poise.
I ran past a hospital and a police station where some officers where outside by their cars. I yelled out my defiance to them and all of the things in their world and their 'civilization', and by this time I was wearing only my pants, my shirt and shoes stripped off somewhere in the middle of town. I do not think they followed me but I dont know I truly thought I was living in my own world, my own heaven.
Eventually I passed out in a field near a highway.
When I came to I was coming down fast off my trip. It hit me like a jackhammer that I wasnt in my own reality, and that everything in this world was real. I sat there in fear that the police would be looking for me and that I had injured my friend before I ran off.
I hid there for hours until darkness came.
It started getting very very cold and I realized I could easily lose fingers and toes if I didnt find shelter or contact my friend somehow. Also I had cut my hands and feet when I was running and I was bleeding.
So I broke into the only building nearby, a small office building, and used their phones to call my friend to come pick me up.
It has taken me a year to distance myself from the experience so I can write about it. obviously it was incredibly stupid, but the most amazing thing that has happened to me also. It has changed my life in more ways thanI can think of.
Well thanks for reading so long, I didnt intend to make it a novel
But hopefully someone can learn something not to do from this
PS I cant really say whether it was worth it or not, but when i think back these days all I can remember is the heaven I saw and the feeling of being young, running, powerful god