Home | Mushroom Info | Experiencing Mushrooms | Trip Reports | Level 5 | JESUSSYNCHRONICITY vs. matter

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August 29, 2003 is the last time I have taken more
than 1/8th of mushrooms. I am writing this
introductory paragraph on March 13 2006. The reason I
do not take large doses of mushrooms any more is
because of fear of falling into the state of mind that
I will now discuss.
The following is a brief timeline of my tripping
history: Age 17 was the first time I tripped. I took
1/16th ounce. I initially tried acid, and I would do
acid occasionally, but I definitely thought that there
was something special about mushrooms. I enjoyed it
thoroughly and continued to do mushrooms approximately
once every two months on average at only 1/16th ounce
dosages. I was satisfied to only to 1/16th dosages
not considering that one could trip with heightened
intensity. I thought I may as well save money because
I was tripping on this 1/16th amount. After a few
years I went up to 1/12th ounce. I was 19 when I did
an 1/8 ounce for the first time. I continued doing
these higher doses more often. I will talk about a
few events of significance at these levels later, but
let’s go down to the business at hand.

Once upon a time I did 5 grams of mushrooms. I had
recently turned 21 years old. This was the most
influential experience of my entire life and nothing
can come close. Nothing in this world is anything.
It is something I think about daily. It revealed to
me who God was. I never knew IT was. Yes, it is
Strange. Yes, it is absolutely astonishing. Yes it is
Too Obvious to perceive normally. Yes, it is Happening
right now, and finally yes IT IS NOW.

From the moment I took five grams of mushrooms which
was July 15, 2000 until August 29, 2003, (the last
time I really took mushrooms), I always did at least 5
to 9 grams, on average of about once a month. I would
say roughly 25 to 30 occasions of 5 grams or more.

The real world is too Strange too suppose. July 15th

The set and setting: In my college house that I
share with five other guys. My best friend is over,
with whom I see eye to eye with on many issues
including the greatness of mind expansion.
We ingest the mushrooms (about 5 .5 to 6 grams.) The
plan is to sit inside and listen to music or watch a
video. This has been the plan for a while with
tripping because I find it most pleasurable to do. The
cd’s are William Burroughs “Dead city radio”, Beatles
“white album d1.” Tool and Pink Floyd were always
considered the best and open to be put in at any time.

We started off with the video “Yellow Submarine” by
the Beatles. A half an hour into it, I definitely felt
different. It came on as I was watching this video. I
was incessantly laughing; so much so that I found it
hard to catch my breath, oh man did I think it was
funny. It was speaking directly about the tripping
realm of consciousness, which was the butt of all the
jokes. The movie seemed to have been made to be truly
understood, while tripping. It is so funny, and I
“get” it to such a new an enhanced extent. This
experience is something I had many times before while
tripping. I had been tripping for three and a half
years prior to this. I had taken 1/8th ounce doses
and that would produce an effect where the music of
certain musicians, lyrics in particular was actually
about another realm. I didn’t think about it as
another “realm” back then but I knew there was
something strange going on.
I would listen to Pink Floyd, Tool or The Beatles
and I would be absolutely convinced that this was
about me, right now at that time. There truly was at
least two ways of interpreting certain songs. There
was an additional feeling of certainty associated with
this tripping consciousness. When I think about these
now after my higher dose trips, they fit in a sensible
way, I was simply on the fringes and not plunging to
the center. I was “peering in” on Synchronicity at
these levels, I was getting quick flashes of what I
would latter find out was the real world in the midst
of our illusion.
I was both laughing very hard and trying to contain
the overtones of an oncoming “something” in the
background. It wasn’t pleasurable. It was definitely
too much. I’ll quote Terrence Mckenna who describes it
as: “It’s like everyone from Vancouver to San Diego
just hurled themselves under their desk from a giant
earthquake.” There was a feeling that something big is
approaching. The times I had tripped before this,
shrooms were one of the greatest things in life to me,
it providing guaranteed pleasure. This time it was not
like that.
We started off listening to music. It was the
Beatles white album d.1. This is a cd I enjoyed
thoroughly. However, this time it was absolutely
unbearable. It sounded like these cut out sections,
not fitting together, and all together agonizing.
Each second doesn’t fit with the next second. Ralph
had already gone up stairs. I then went up to my room.

I found out

I walk into my room and I am standing right inside my
door. I have this Awareness/Directly/Experiencing my
“Unconscious.” I was there, in this realm and my
first thought was; “Oh my god this is actually real!
Are you kidding me? What in hell is this? You
absolutely have to be kidding me!”
I had been interested in Jung and Freud a little.
I chose to major in psychology in college; I had taken
only a few classes. I liked the sound of their ideas,
what very little I knew, and such superficial
information. I found out I never came within light
years of fathoming what this actually was. It
actually was!!!! It was kind of creepy notion; this
was so far over my head. This was mindboggleing!!! I
could See/Feel/Directly Experience these “Essences.” I
didn’t know that term prior to this experience, and I
recognized this at the time. This had never happened
where I was given convincing knowledge, without taking
it in from a normal source ie; other person, book,
video etc. However, the word for these things
was perfectly natural. These were most definitely
“Unconscious Essences” that were manifesting every
single action that was occurring everywhere in this
world of matter. This was also a new concept; I had
never assumed a world could exist that wasn’t made of
matter. I was in my Unconscious, this was very
strange to me, but it was very obviously the source of
all action that was taking place in our normal world
of matter. I was Clearly witnessing/Feeling/Knowing
this movement of these Essences that exist in the
Unconscious and they clearly create the world.
This was a different realm of existing, and I felt
that I was existing in this realm but that this was
“more real” and it hit me as a new concept I would
never had thought of that different realms were
actually more or less real.
I had an exceedingly clear awareness. I am
seeing this all Happen before my eyes. The most
unquestionable convincing presentation, it was all one
SYNCHORNICITY. Every object, every action, every
thought, every living being anywhere, now, throughout
all of history, every weather pattern, rock falling
from a cliff, a random guy in New York asking for a
bratwurst, comment from a cashier. Every occurrence
is accounted for. It is all SYNCHRONICITY.
There was nothing in life that was not
SYNCHRONICITY. The cars outside, the exact sounds they
were making. These sounds were happening outside my
window in normal waking life, but the meaning of all
these sounds and action were altered and I was
recognizing their true origins. The fact that a car
stops at a stop sign and the Exact sound of the gravel
it makes. The fact that four seconds later a blue car
stops and makes a new pitch, an exact pitch I was
expecting. The presentation is an unquestionable
Obvious proof all around me.
The best way I can think of to describe what
SYNCHRONICITY is: Think of the gears on a watch.
Think of this on a huge scale like watch gears spread
out on a football field. Move any of the watch gears
and all the rest will immediately move at the same
time. It is important to notice that it truly is AT
the same time. If one moves, they all will move at
the same time, because they are all interconnected.
In a way it is telepathic in that you know what will
happen before it happens. However, it’s a stage of
consciousness without any time, not a trace of time.
Everything is happening exactly NOW. It is all the
perfect occurrence of this perfect formula. The
evidence is direct, astonishing and unmistakable. I
could clearly and I mean CLEARLY See/Witness/Feel/Know
this very OBVIOUS occurrence that was Happening.
I walked towards my bed and I just leaned over
it and the very clear Revelation that this phenomenon
was all the knowledge in the universe. It had to with
this PRECISE movement of shapes in the Unconscious.
The concept of DIVINE PRECISION was representing
itself. it was presented as; The real world is
Divine. A Divine entity is the true nature of this
I thought to myself while witnessing this that there
are so many things I don’t know. I think of science
and how I know very little and that I should be given
knowledge in accordance with science, E = MC 2 and
such. What I realized was that science, or the world
that science tests, is clearly not a real world. It
had such little meaning. I would have to say it had
no meaning compared to this other realm of
consciousness that was all the knowledge of the
universe and it had to do with this PRECISION that was
so PRECISE that it made me astonished to even consider
the fact that something exists that is so PRECISE.
I must have been in my room an hour or so. Ralph who
I did the mushrooms with came up to my room after
having been down in the living room. I was still
experiencing the Unconscious and the Perfect movement,
though I could understand what he was saying and I
could talk in a sober manner. A few minutes later I
decided to go down in the basement again.

…………and then it HAPPENED.
I was on the third step from the bottom of the
staircase, when it was revealed to me that the room
was actually GOD. The first thought that went through
my head was; “I though maybe?” (in reference to the
existence of God.) “My god you absolutely have to be
kidding me… I would have never… impossible to imagine
this scenario….nothing like this…….. What…? ……….You
have to be kidding me!!!)
A brief history of my personality prior to this: In
the previous two years I had an immense interest in
disproving Christianity. In particular because it was
part of my culture, I also thought Islam and Jewish
are equally bad. Anyone who assumes their tiny
formula is correct at the expense of all others being
incorrect, those who live in a small world,
anthropomorphic projections of exactly who God is. How
absurd, yet dangerous. The blatant irrationality of
saying “we are just one of thousands of religions now
and throughout time… but it just so happens that our
religion (the only one we know of) is the one and only
correct interpretation of the world and those who
think otherwise are consigned to hell!” Oh yea and if
we stray from our God we are consigned to hell for
eternity, but that doesn’t effect are decision to obey
the religion that I just happened to have been born
I still hold the same view to this day that
organized religion is such an obviously absurd
phenomenon, even though every one of my experiences
entirely revolves around Jesus. This has nothing to
do with the bible or how it’s taken literally with
emphasis on historical facts in our world of matter.
Which I still think is ridiculous. Interestingly, it
has a lot to do with Gnostic Christianity, which I was
introduced to one and a half years after I had started
with the 5 plus grams dosage, and the
Jesussynchronicity vs. matterillusion experiences.
Even though I had an interest in religion, I can
honestly say I never really thought about what God
could be. Sure I spoke about how Christians or Muslims
are not right, I didn’t actually attempt to think that
maybe something mysterious is going on, that God does
exist it is just nothing like the juvenile Western
conception. I should point out that what I discovered
to be God was an extension of what I was interested in
a lot and that is consciousness itself. I had been
into night dreams, I had read many books on dreams and
I even recorded my dreams every night and attempted to
lucid dream. I guess I was so tainted by the word God
from the Western conception that I wasn’t even going
to dignify the idea.
To actually witness God: There is not a smidgen of a
doubt because what it did was to magnify reality by a
large number, but for the sake of some sort of
conception I’ll say 46,974 times more real. Of course
this notion of “MORE REAL” was a new concept I would
never have supposed. I had no clue the world could
have a veil lifted from it and “The Real World” would
show its gears in an action where all cause and effect
was accounted for, but was no longer cause and effect:
One movement. One Synchronicity. I would never have
assumed in a thousand of years of normal sober
consciousness that there is a “Realm of
TRUTH”…..What?..........How could I even begin to

Now you may ask yourself, what was God? (or whatever
this state of mind is that would convince me of this.)
Everything I Saw/Felt/Knew/Experienced were all
brand new concepts in my mind as a human being.
However at the same time this is Clearly what is
natural and I am clearly a part of this. I actually
had no predisposition to any of this. All of these
concepts where “DIVINE CONCEPTS” which means they
possess such a degree of clarity that I was far beyond
the questions of: Is this real or not? I am moved to
such a high degree. PERFECTION, way beyond
mathematical perfection that will put me into a state
of continued astonishment.
Each concept that I have used capital letters on for
in this write-up: for instance “More Real”, “Exactly”,
“Synchronicity” etc. These are very meaningful in
themselves and with a very large influence. The
amount of meaning in these Divine concepts should be
thought of as magnified by 46, 974 times.
This is what happened to my perception: As I
said I had experienced “the Unconscious” while up in
my bedroom. That was a place far deeper than waking
consciousness. The GOD MIND REALITY was far more deep,
but noticeably a place very deep. It is also important
to note that nothing changed in the physical domain.
The pole in the basement was still technically green
in color, the washer and dryer were still white, the
carpet was the same etc. However, the “Meaning” of
these objects was drastically altered. The exact
placement of everything, and I mean everything was
accounted for NOW. Every piece of clothing lying on
the floor was all planed out previously in this other
dimension of true explanation. I would know when I
certain person was going to walk down the stairs. I
was aware of the gears that create every thought. We
were all in this together, and no one knows about
this. This is too strange to fathom. A human mind
could not conceive of something this strange, I
thought. It was a manifestation of this “Real”
meaning. Everything was made of a substance called
“DIVINE LOVE.” It struck me as so weird.
It struck as something that I would have never
thought of. This would be too strange to ever suppose.
I mean let’s think of the incongruity here: There is
one Substance, only one thing that truly exists. It
is the most moving powerful substance. It would seem
that it would be more at home racing through space,
encircling the farthest reaches of space or in
heavenly realm. But what it was doing was transformed
and EXISTED in the realm of Matter. This beyond
profound SUBSTANCE, how does it spend it’s days? As
“Checker auto stores ™ As Time, as whiffleball games,
as elementary school buildings, as Themes of “Redneck
at a Wal-Mart” 1980’s pop culture, Woman from Somalia
working at the Holiday Inn, as jobs as a teenager
growing up, as egging cars when your 13 and loving it.
As Professional football, as India back in 1543,
Gi-joe guys buried in the dirt for years and are still
in the same spot 13 years later. As everything that is
different in every other culture. This is what it
does. It hangs out, doing everything ever in matter.
This is Strange.
I did not feel the love and I was not in a state of
ecstasy. It was more presented as a fact: “This is
what is really going on.” This entire experience
actually was never pleasurable at any point. I’m glad
I had it, and I still have them if I do 5 grams. But
at the time it is unbearable and I want it to stop,
the entire trip.
I specifically looked at the washer and dryer and
thought; “What a very strange thing to be GOD.” I
looked at the pole and thought “WOW it was DIVINE LOVE
this whole time.” Also magnified was the actual
halting of time. This issue of time and psychedelics
had been joked about since I first started doing
psychedelics. However, this was different. No Time At
All. Time does not exist. I go the impression there is
no need to worry.
Another presentation offered with undeniable evidence
was that death does not exist. I want touch up on
levels of understanding. Tool, who is actually my
favorite music of all time, has a sentence on their
album Aenima that says “there is no such thing as
death, life is a dream and we are an imagination of
When I would do 1/8th of mushrooms for the two years
prior to this 5 gram amount, I would “really
understand” this. I couldn’t articulate anything
about it. I couldn’t fathom it, nor did I try to
conceive of it. Some kind of instinct went off in me
on 1/8th of mushrooms consistently when I thought of
this statement. I tried to think about what he meant
by “ourselves,” on a few occasions, and I did not get
it. The only reason I thought about it was because I
think the lyrics or so great the album so perfect that
I ruminate over these things.
This time it was presented Clearly. There isn’t a
metaphor to do justice to the amount of conviction I
have during these presentations of what is the True
Realm. It’s like a mechanic showing you how the
engine works and he points to each part and says
“look, see I push the piston up and down and look the
crankshaft is clearly moving when I do this. Showing
you right in front of your eyes, showing you from
every angle, asking yo9u “do you understand?” I’m
willing to explain all day until you understand.
Well I am shown exactly how death cannot exist. It
is beyond impossible. I see the physics of the mind,
the physics of the essences, I feel every part of
them; it is a state of undeniable pure understanding.
At about this point a new issue occurred. It was
brought to my attention that this was all JESUS. I
was really confounded. I thought God was playing a
joke to make Jesus, or some other single entity be
God. This is the concept I find so ridiculous about
Western religions like Islam and Christianity. Making
statements like God was this one particular guy in
history, to which the response by any of the other
thousands upon thousands of other peoples is: No
actually God wasn’t that one particular person in
history it was this other guy associated with my
culture and identity. To which the response from a
different culture is. “Hey you guys are all actually
wrong I am from a different culture and I feel close
to god and I feel that I am a good intentioned and
worthy person so in conclusion: God must be the
person from South America, No that’s not it God is the
person from Canada! You guys are wrong. He was from
Indonisia.. ad nausem
I did have an affinity for Buddha, a superficial
understanding, so I thought, “at least you could have
been Buddha.” The presentation was that it was
unmistakably Jesus. Which of course held a certain
irony for me. I can’t express enough how weird this
“Thing” was. Absolutely not human. Don’t be weighted
down with issues of what garb did they where back
then, robes and sandles? This is an alien Mind that
is right here right now. It demolishes all of your
physics and it IS. In fact the one concept that I pull
away from all of this is how “Strange” this all is. It
was invisible. It was a state of mind. It was a Realm
of MIND. It was a REALM of MIND that was
SYNCHRONICTY. It was every person and it was most
definitely myself, or my real self, my true identity,
like some event happened where I imagined myself as a
human being and all the experiences that went with my
life, but my true nature was this Revelation. It was
the True nature of being, the Realm of Truth. In fact
I had the thought at the time “So this is what is
meant by, I am the truth, I am the life.” Some lyrics
to a camp song, nothing I ever gave a second thought
to. But what I was in was a Realm of Truth, The Mind
of Jesus. This is the Truth. This is what is Really
Going On and has been THIS ENTIRE TIME. Again it was
brought to my attention that everything I ever knew
was an “Illusion.” Jesus was the “MIND” surrounding
everything and me. It was everything.
I then sat down on a recliner. Ralph was not here at
the time. I held conversations with this MIND. I
didn’t speak it was all in the Mind. The one notion I
have to mention is that I had two distinct aware
nesses. One aware ness is experiencing all of this
Revelation, experiencing this TRUE nature of reality.
While at the same time I know all this is new and
drastically different from anything I knew before and
I have memories of how things are while sober.
I then thought some things: Why??......Why would
this be going on??? (Referring to life as I knew it
layered by the workings of this strange realm of
truth). The Thing/Jesus/The Truth of this world didn’t
know, which struck me as interesting. I didn’t get a
satisfactory answer, but just that it didn’t know why.
As if this Mind that is Jesus/Synchronicity that is
our world didn’t know what it was doing here either. I
thought/asked ….

“and my parents, brother, jobs, school, stores,
friends etc. That whole thing I ever knew.. you
know….life? high school? t-ball, school work, and
years and years of existence. What the hell was that
all about?”
I can’t say I received any profound answer; more
just a fact that all experience was the result of the
movement of shapes in a different realm and the
outgrowth of these movements is the world of matter.
This is what I find interesting. It didn’t seem to
be glorious, but factually the workings of this Shape,
these perfect movements, one movement with perennial
falling dominoes. Even though my experience in waking
normal life will be filled with emotion, this
metaphysical explanation of mathematical movement is
without emotion.
I recall the exact “look” of people was all created
by me. The issue was, was that everything was me, I
was Jesus, everything was Jesus, everything was God.
However, I still have my other mind the whole time and
knowing that I am just a peon, but still I was God and
I was doing everything. It was such an issue related
to me personally, the entire world, all of history.
Out of many possible worlds to inhabit my
consciousness was shoved into one where the themes are
war, shopping, learning, dieing, sports, evolution,
eating etc. The “super unconscious me” was creating
everything in my life. This was all very familiar and
obvious, but still very shocking. It was so shocking
because I still had that one sober neuron, or
contrasting consciousness to compare all this to.
This goes on for a while. I just am thinking over
everything that has been apart of my life. The people
I have known, the jobs I have worked, all of my
interests, the fact that I am attracted to psychology,
marijuana, dreams and Pink Floyd I recall stood out,
as that was relevant at the time. Immediately the
“Real Reasons” for all of this manifested stuff all
was shown to me through thoughts and all so obvious,
but it didn’t seem very meaningful or filled with
emotion, but rather the outgrowth a movements in
another dimension.
My vaguely remembered dreams of the previous three
days were magnified and I was shown what they really
meant. The precise meaning of my dreams of the
previous three days was something that carried special
attraction to me. One subject I am interested in is
dreaming. One book I had read about lucid dreaming
was about how when we hear the correct interpretation
of our dreams, we will suddenly “know” what the dream
meant. This struck me as odd. I have never had
something like that happen with me. Now I was given a
reason for the dreams that I had. All images,
thoughts, actions were all the direct effect of this
Whole Creature, our true nature. It occurred to me
that dreams: were on a level about equal with waking
life and that they were related to one another in many
ways. The consciousness I was in was at the
metaphorical bottom of the ocean.
One thing I would like to mention is nothing can
compare with these two hours of revelation in this
Realm of Truth. Any arguments that people give like
“your on drugs man,” would be ludicrous if they saw
this other reality to compare their everyday, go to
work, sleep, eat, shit, new fall sitcoms and that’s
it, understanding of the world and saw enlightenment.
Now back to some history: At this point in my
life I had a girlfriend for the previous six months.
She would actually break up with me four days after
this, so our relationship had been on the rocks. Now I
actually felt a lot of love for her, so when I thought
of her. It was reiterating with utmost clarity that
she was an “illusion.” This concept of “illusion” was
prevalent from the start of this revelation of God,
because I thought of my mom and dad and they were just
illusions created by the Realm me I guess, whoever had
me go through with being born.

Ralph came into the room now. Of course to me he was
completely familiar with all of the knowledge that I
had. The reason I assume that he knew about all of
this is because his every action was the result of
this one phenomenon Synchronicity that is everything
in the world on this level of consciousness. What is
so interesting, is that the entire world around me,
the physical world that we think of as governed by
physics and then the free choice of each individual
simply is confined only by these laws, is clearly not
what is Really going on.
Every action that was taking place: the sounds of
people coming and going upstairs, Ralph’s every word
and movement and reaction to me was clearly the
production of my own Unconscious, which turns into all
Unconscious which is one SYNCHRONICITY.
Let me say a few words about this solipsistic
statement that “Every person, action, thought etc. was
a direct result of my Unconscious. Instead of me
thinking that I am the most important person in the
world and that 50 billion lives have revolved around
my one lifetime. I instead think that each Soul must
have made an agreement to come to this consciousness
and be part of one perfect reflecting harmony and that
I am the unconscious manifestation of other
Souls/peoples reason’s for being in this world. Or
when the one Creature that we are all apart of split
itself into pieces, they still are all came from the
same creature, and are now a part of that Creature.
An agreement had to have been made for Synchronicity
to have initially happened it seems.
When I was around my friend Ralph. It was a
given that he was “in on it.” The one thing I wasn’t
sure about was if he knew all of this before and I
thought: “Wow Ralph has been this puppet of God all
this time that I knew him. All this time I have spent
in his parent’s basement growing up, playing video
games and just being regular friends with, he was
really this puppet of God this entire time. The other
possibility to me was I thought he was receiving all
of this newfound information like me and he was
shocked by it all too. However, later he said nothing
of the sort happened. He just had a normal trip, only
more intense than usual.
At this time I thought of Roger Waters’ song
“It all make perfect sense” and it kept going through
my thoughts and its Real Meaning was this. The exact
inflection and melody was all so overwhelmingly
understood in this realm of truth.
Next I turned on the television. Although this
entire experience was so highly strange I would have
to say the television incident really could give one
the heeby- jeebies. Recall that Synchronicity was the
first revelatory or divine concept that I had happened
to me in my bedroom. Now it was being brought to my
attention that what SYNCHRONICITY is, is JESUS. The
actual metaphysical phenomenon was what/ who Jesus is.
And what all does IT encompass? Everything ever. It
is the Truth, the true physics of the world. That
although the world of capitalism, physics, cause and
effect, chemistry, biology and acting according to
free will but limited to physical laws seems to be the
what is going on. In truth it is all One Creature at
large. More perfect than mathematics. One Creature,
you are a part of it, but somehow when you really
understand it, it was only you the entire time. Your
true identity is this creature at large ie:
JESUSSYNCHRONICITY. Every movement is accounted for.
It’s all obviously happening NOW. All communication
through the MIND showing me how everybody is actually
Jesus in disguise and that everything I ever thought I
knew was just an illusion.
Our world is a product of Consciousness, this is the
key, it can create illusion, no matter how real it
seems, it caries with it this potential, we all know
this, because each night we dream, yet we never know
it is a dream, even if the situations are absolutely
absurd. So then you have to ask yourself, if I
believed that was really happening, what else would I
believe is really happening?

I was changing channels on the television. It was
in accordance with SYNCHRONICITY like everything else,
but there were three distinct people whose certain
physical characteristics were in each person whom I
changed the channel to. Keep in mind this is not like
saying; “that cloud kind of looks like Elvis or the
Virgin Mary, or some mercurial way of looking at
things. But was rather a deliberate presentation and
the lesson was:“This is what was always going on, God
was always in control, and in Truth is the only thing
that is Real.”
The three people were Jeff, (this guy I knew from
work at the time) Steven Tyler (singer for Aerosmith)
who means nothing to me in life (I guess I did like
Aerosmith when I was 13 years old or so). My grandma
from my father’s side (she had been dead for a number
of years, I really didn’t know her, nor had any
special bond to.) However, these were the three people
whose different parts of their bodies were in each
person I flipped to on the T.V.
Jesus presents: “SEE HOW OBVIOUS IT IS”
Starring: everybody and everything that ever existed:
played by Jesus.
The role of Jesus is played by everybody and
everything who ever existed.
One man on the T.V. had a nose that would become
illuminated with the Jesus clarity and he would talk
for a while. Each word had an alternate meaning that
meant so much to me at the time. Again here is the
issue of altered meaning of English words. A truly
different meaning, this alternate meaning is
associated the Mind of Jesus. I changed the channel;
the person on the T.V. would have a forehead
illuminated with the Jesus clarity, EXACTLY like my
Grandma’s. I have no predisposition to any of this,
why these three characters out of all the people in
life where the theme of this is anyone’s guess. I
never even noticed my grandma’s forehead when she was
alive but this was illuminated that it was Jesus who
was my grandma and Jesus who was this person being
interviewed on T.V. I would turn the channel, a woman
middle aged woman is on. Her nose will become
illuminated in clarity and it will be presented that
this is the same nose on Jeff from work. The eyes of
Steven Tyler were on another person on a different
channel. The hair of a 17 year old boy on the next
channel is exactly the hair of my grandmother. I mean
this all very deliberate. It’s all conveyed to me
that it is all Jesus and it always was. I can keep
going with examples but to sum up this happened for
about twenty minutes of constant flicking of channels.

Beatles book art, the product of my Unconscious
Another huge occurrence was when I looked through
this Beatles illustrated lyrics book. Every page I
turned to was an exact replica, my very deep
Unconscious ….OBVIOUSLY. This continually shocked me
and I would try to trick it. I would try to open up to
“random” pages but it did not matter. Whatever page I
turned to it was always the direct meaning of this
occurrence of perfection in the Unconscious. The
lesson I learned from this specific occurrence was
that free will doesn’t exist. Synchronicity itself
seems to be in direct opposition to free will.
Let me just point something out that I did think of
as a result of this Synchronicity experience. Why do
we think what we think? For instance whenever you say
“I thought” what do you mean? “You” thought? Each
thought that “occurs” between our ears, the random
thoughts we are bombarded with throughout our day, why
those? A day at lunch in the 5th grade. A random
night in the 10th grade. Why was it that particular
random thought as opposed to all other possibilities?
At this point Ralph was in the basement with me. I
was making grunt sounds “Noooo wayyyyyy” “Nuuuuuu
Ahhhh” from being so thoroughly amazed by this
phenomenon of not being able to ever trick this THING
by attempting to open to random pages. The pictures on
the pages were an Exact manifestation of my
Unconscious. One page in specific was of a lot of
creatures with their skulls exposed, all with fearful
expressions (this is really in the book.) When I saw
this page there was a crystal clear conveyance, a
train of thoughts streamed through my head that said “
1000 Years ago a man named Jesus ………………..did this and
this etc..……………..There was specifically a new train of
thoughts that sped through my head, presented as
facts. Then I was given the collective mentality of
these people that lived 1000 years ago and why they
believed in Jesus. The utter OBVIOUSNESS of this
mentality is unlike any form a rational thought, so
beyond proof or scientific formats. It just IS. There
is no doubt. Doubt does not exist in this mentality.
I thought, “Wow if I had a mentality like this of
course I would believe in Jesus I wouldn’t be aware of
any other way to think.” I also thought it was odd
that it was 1000 years ago and not 2000 like it said
in the bible.

I continued to stay on the couch. I had an immense
need to urinate, but I was so far detached from any
understanding that peeing even exists, that I was a
human, or any ordinary way of thinking. I thought it
must have been something else. I didn’t feel right and
was annoyed by this feeling. I knew there was
something awry with something and that I was
uncomfortable. Time was at a complete standstill. It
has to be or else SYNCRONICITY wouldn’t take effect.
I specifically had the thought that it was weird I was
going to spend eternity in this basement. I thought
at the time: “what an odd thing.”
I should point out that although I am using the word
God. I am not saying that this is the Ultimate realm
of truth. I can say that this realm was far more real
then my normal waking consciousness. This experience
had no “glory” at all. At the time of this happening
it was miserable. I would get on and off the couch
vaguely knowing that something isn’t right with my
body. I kept shifting in methodical fashion, I felt
controlled by something, shifting in accordance with
the ideas. About this time three concepts occurred
over my left shoulder and it was conveyed to me that
this is how Jesus sees the world.
Three concepts were presented as Divine concepts as
highly important so important in fact that they alter
the meaning of any concepts. FORGIVENESS,
NON-JUDGEMENT, what was emphasized was the complete
“lack” of the ability to judge, which struck me as
interesting. It was not that an option was given to
judge or not to judge and one should take the path of
non-judgment. Rather the presentation was that Jesus’
Mind couldn’t judge, it’s impossible to judge, because
there is nothing that it is not).
Finally the last concept of importance that came from
a spot above my left shoulder was EVERYBODY IS JESUS
IN DISGUISE. At this time another friend of mine, and
also a roommate, came in front of me to pick something
up. His entrance of course is part of the lesson from
Jesus, and in exact accordance with Synchronicity.
“Every person is actually Jesus in disguise, that’s
the key, that’s the secret.” It makes too much sense
for human’s to fathom. That is where this truth
exists; Human’s five senses are not equipped to handle
the frequency of the Blatantly Obvious.
My friend said something, he was looking for a cord,
but when I looked at his eyes it was clear Jesus was
running him. I had the impression he didn’t know. At
this time, some of his band mates were walking through
the room. Jesus, through the MIND conveyed that I
created them all or they were all a part of me and I
of them. Again the theme occurred like on the T.V.
where body parts were illuminated. One had dreadlocks
that were illuminated and how they are like mine.
Another had eyes just like me and they were
illuminated. It was all a big presentation, Jesus was
conveying, “Look what I can do, and look what has been
really going on this entire time.”
One final concept that was a part of this was the
lack of any Control. This phenomenon of Synchronicity
seems to be in direct opposition to free will.
Synchronicity is the law of this dimension of Mind,
the Mind of Jesus. The lesson was I have no control
over anything, I never had any and I never will.
Control is an illusion. At this exact moment, (and of
course I knew the words he was going to say) my
roommate yelled out to some of his friends that were
leaving: “Hey are you guys coming over for the party
on Saturday, bring your friends!” The reason this had
a particular meaning to me with me was because one
more police encounter at our house for party
gatherings and we were evicted. We only had two weeks
left of that old lease too. I just had this 2-hour
lesson of utmost certainty that the world was an
illusion but I didn’t know what to think of this
party. I thought there was some unexplained or
forgotten part of this physics/ metaphysical scenario.
Jesus kept reiterating “It doesn’t MATTER!” “It
doesn’t MATTER!” Referring to it (matter/ all of life
as I know it) all being an illusion.
At some point another roommate came home and he
offered me a bong hit. I still wasn’t in my normal
state. I assumed he “knew” and that we had crossed
some barrier or something happened and we were in this
state of existing from now on. He seemed so nice.
At some point I floated back up to this world (ie
level of consciousness). The one issue that stuck out
to me was: How in the hell? I can’t believe I can go
through that and then I end up back in this world.
Literally, not a day goes by that I don’t recall this
experience, or more accurately think about the lessons
directly from this experience, which of course is :If
it does not appear as God it’s an illusion.

The experience I just wrote about was my first time
taking a dose of 5 grams of mushrooms. It is my most
memorable because it was the first. After this I took
mushrooms (at least 5 grams every time), about once a
month for the following two years. There was then
maybe six months that I did not do any mushrooms until
my final trip on August 19 2003. Which is another one
I will write about at length.
As for all of the trips I took in between: What I
can say about them is that they are all basically the
same in structure. The JESUSSYNCHRONICITY theme is
guaranteed in every trip. The trips are a
presentation of the previous few days in my waking
life, and how these seemingly trivial encounters with
people were actually attempted messages from Jesus.
The messages are always proof that the world of matter
is an illusion and to “Not fall for it, Don’t believe
matter is real.” And that the truth is there is only
one creature that truly exists and this creature is
Jesus. In reality every person is Jesus in disguise.
Each person’s real identity is this creature at large.

There are two distinct impressions I get of what
Jesus is doing. One is that JESUS is a multisided
Shape that exists in the Unconscious at complete peace
and in control. That is like a sphere with many sides
on it. I have never seen it but I feel it, I then
extrapolate this is what it is. I think a disco ball
is a good metaphor.
The other is of Jesus fighting wars and there is a
certain anxiety to it, but at the same time it’s clear
who will win. Jesus uses love as a weapon, which
annihilates any opposition, by transforming opposition
into the only thing that exists, which is Love.

The Asteroids

Now an interesting experience I had in Portland.
Jesus/Synchronicity (of course). The trip was the
evidence the Jesus Synchronicity are the real laws. I
recall Jesus would let me know a knock will occur at
the door, but I can FEEL the exact moment that it will
happen, even five seconds before it, I will feel a
certain anticipation, fully feeling how this is “going
to play out.” It really seems like this already
happened, but it happened in a different dimension
This type of proof was continuing to happen, it
conveys to me “sirens are going to turn on outside in
the distance”……..and then it happens. “The light on
the adjacent apartment will turn on,”…..and then it
happens. There seems to be a phenomenon throughout
these high dose experiences of Jesus being a Shape in
the Unconscious and also that what we think of as
outer space, vast amounts of space literally spreading
infinitely in all directions, is actually the
Unconscious. These perfect movements of spheres in
the Unconscious, like the massive spheres planets and
stars, the presentation is that these are very closely
related. This outer space as humanity objectively
knows it, and each of our own individual subjective
inner worlds are actually the same thing. This is an
illustration of the strange phenomenon where one could
say that the entire world is actually God in reality,
and that each person’s own real identity is as God.
Somehow every person in this world has a specific
meaning to you individually.

It was the latter part of this trip that a very
peculiar phenomenon happened to me or I guess as it
was presented already happened. I had the experience
that the Earth was being hit by meteors and that Jesus
WAS the “spaceship” who saved us. When this
information/experience was first introduced to be my
original thought was “Wow, I was living during the
period when the Earth was destroyed.” It obviously
happened so it wasn’t a question. I am floating slowly
and at peace through outer space in the spaceship. The
spaceship is the level of consciousness that is the
Mind of Jesus, the connectedness of Synchronicity.
Everything really being one Entity, Jesus IS/WAS the
spaceship that is the machine you escape with. This
again has a sense of urgency to it. It seems that on
one level this mindset of Jesus is highly peaceful and
surely under control of everything, yet there is also
a dramatic, urgency associated with this experience.
Many times it seems that Jesus is at war. It seems
that Jesus’ own fortitude is necessary, that It has
stamina. It’s “weapon” or “method of warfare” in this
war is Love. To think with assurance that anything
else could actually exist is too absurd is the method.
And this makes all opposition dissipate into IT, the
one substance Love.
Think of it like the United States going to war in
Iraq. It’s a given that the United States will win
with such a huge technically advanced military, yet
the fighting still takes place. It is a given and
there is no need to worry that Jesus will win, because
Love is the ultimate weapon, the war still takes
I am having the realization that the Earth was hit by
a multitude of meteors. I would get the warning to
“hang on another one is about to hit.” I knew I had a
few seconds before it hits. I Knew/could Cleary feel
it coming… it was coming….., it would hit. I could
feel the vibrations but the vibrations were stilted
because the force would be absorbed by Love.
Then I could Feel us traveling through space with
“ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD.” This was a fulfilling
glorious concept:

Here we are now traveling.
I want to remind you that every experience I’ve had
with the Jesus Synchronicity experience always has
associated with it at conveyed with urgency and
importance throughout each of these experiences is:
“Don’t Fall for it.” “It doesn’t Matter.” A message is
trying to get through with much concern. “It doesn’t
Matter, don’t believe it.” What it’s conveying is
don’t believe that the world of matter is at all real
in any sense.
I am then in a state of complete undeniable truth
that this is my true identity with Jesus as a
necessary part of Jesus. This is So Obvious. I wasn’t
sure at the time, while having this experience, as a
part of Jesus; if the story of Earth and history in
space and time and matter that I was then vaguely
remembering, (it was kind of foggy recollection) was
something that could happen? Or that did happen? Was
it that all of history in matter is something that may
be realized at some point? It is something that could
possibly happen to me? Might happen to me? I wasn’t
sure it seemed like I woke up from a dream and I had
some remembrances: possibly I thought I was a human?
(Thinking about it) “No, that couldn’t have been it”.
I wasn’t sure it seemed too far-fetched. It seemed
like such a ludicrous concept at the time as I was
clearly my natural self as a part of Jesus at some
kind of a peace and fully Knowing: I have “ALL THE
In the same way that it is unbelievable to conceive
of ourselves as actually Spirits and not human at all,
it was unbelievable to think that it would ever be
possible to actually think I was a human at home in
matter. During this experience I felt in a way like a
young child, I felt as if I were about five years old
in many ways. One part of it felt like a state of
curiosity or wonder when being read a fairy tale
before bedtime. I’m right there at home (in space with
Jesus) in complete comfort and it seemed like
something that couldn’t possibly happen that I would
actually think I was made of matter. I felt obedient
for good reason.
Jesus was conveying to me “No really this happened
you once thought yourself into matter” It seemed
unbelievable that this could happen. I was so happy
it was never true.
I was in my apartment in Portland while this was
happening in one sense. However, what was undoubted,
it couldn’t be doubted was that I was clearly actually
floating slowly through outer space as a part of
Jesus. This was one big spaceship; I knew the engines
were on. I would hear throughout this tiny machine
like sounds for a bit I would hear engines turning on,
and then it would all turn back to a very peaceful
silence, later engines would turn on again. I could
still feel impacts occurring but that the impacts
would only take affect if I were to believe I was made
of matter. Before an impact would occur, I was given
reassuring reminders from Jesus. “It’s no big deal,
just remember what you’re made of and it can’t hurt
you.” Your not made out of matter but constructed out
of Divine Love. It absorbs any opposition into it and
the opposition turns into Love. I recall thinking of
two of my cousins and I felt like they were with me.
There was an underlying sense of joy. I felt like I
was a child again, I thought I was wearing pajamas
like I did when I was a child.

Apparently after the urgent bombarding presentation
of: The way to escape is to remember. The question is
what are you made of? DON’T FALL FOR IT. Why would
you ever believe matter matters? Everything was always
all right. The world of matter was small corner in
the mansion of your imagination. I floated back up to
the top…and what strikes me as amazing that I am back
here, I floated to the top, after that happened.

Another experience I recall from when I was in
Portland: This trip had the Loop of progressing and
receding madness. I was lying on my bed (obviously).
The information was becoming so overwhelming that I
had to be or my hands and knees. There was the
message said with urgency: (through the mind) From
Jesus “I need your help, I thought I could create the
world and it would be no problem, but something leaped
out of control the instant I created it, many beings
are working on the equation but it seems impossible,
do you want to give it a try?
Even though I was aware of these events happening in
another realm, I still felt very sober. I
specifically recognized this at the time, I gathered
my wits, straightened my shirt, I thought Okay..
Okay.. I am the manager of this apartment. I am in
Portland. My family is at home in Minnesota,
everything checks out. Then a message came through
“We need your help.” I cracked a grin because I
thought the whole situation was ridiculous, I seemed
sober. I reacted to this message with a grin, and
shaking my head. Thinking is was it’s way of being
funny, saying such a grandiose schizophrenic
situation. So then I (laughingly, thinking this is a
joke) thought “sure I’ll have a look at it. My
reaction was absolute disbelief.
“Ohhhh my that is a real problem.”
I was absolutely put off by one notion: This
equation is PERFECTLY IMPOSSIBLE. It was crystal
clear. I need to emphasize how Real this is. At one
moment I find it all so funny and ridiculous, but when
the notion actually breaks through to me, I am so
convinced of how real this phenomenon is. I could
feel every part of this equation and it was
specifically understood that this was Impossible.

What do I mean by Looping? A stream of information
will enter my head at a super speed. As an analogy
think of when you scroll down on the computer with the
side bar and how 5 pages will fly by each second. The
information load would be overwhelming, which is why I
was on my hands and knees. The loop would come
around, then retreat, then come around again, and
retreat etc.. Each time that it hit I could feel it
coming, I knew when it would hit and I would brace
myself. A metaphor for this is; imagine a sphere,
like a basketball, and a smaller sphere like a golf
ball. The golf ball slowly circles the basketball.
Each time that the golf ball comes to the front side,
I will be hit with unspeakable madness. I can
absolutely Feel/Know that it is coming. I also could
Know where it was on it’s path around the sphere.

Elliptical shapes in a hyperspace

A few months after my initial 5 gram experience, this
in October of 2000, I was still living in the same
house in Minneapolis. I had started off with music.
I started with Pink Floyd, Beatles, and then the third
disc I put in was “pet sounds” by the Beach Boys. It
then kicked in too hard. I stopped listening to music
because it became unbearable. Usually music would be
great pleasure, but the too much ness kicked in again
because I was taking 6 grams of mushrooms. This
experience was very strange. I sat up in my room. I
needed silence because any noise is just unbearable in
this state of mind.
I was an elliptical shaped object that dwells in the
Unconscious in a very fast moving realm. There were
at least four other people I knew who where there as
an elliptical object. I distinctly remember my mom
and three people I knew from the hospital. These
elliptical objects would bounce around seemingly
randomly in this hyperspace. It sounded like the
clicking noise of a turn style (those one way machines
that you enter at a sporting event or concert). What I
found kind of disturbing was the presentation of the
“chance occurrence” of which elliptical objects were
sucked in and then spat out in some pressurized
atmosphere. The feeling of the physics of this place
would be that of a high vacuum atmosphere, sort of
like saying these ellipse where being siphoned in and
pressurized out. Of course this is just a metaphor,
the issue at hand is pure mind and these are
dimensions that are different than our own, and run
with different laws. What was happening was this was
the place where human thoughts originate. The
thoughts are direct results of the movement these
elliptical objects take. This experience did go on for
hours and at the time I was lying on my floor in front
of my sink in my bedroom.

Songs about Jesus

On another occasion while I was living in my
Minneapolis house in 2000 and while up in my room. I
had taken 5 plus grams of mushrooms and decided to
listen to Led Zeppelin. This was a band that I liked.
I was listening to it, but it held no interest to me.
In fact it did not seem like the trip was working. I
then put in “A perfect circle’s mer de noms album.
This completely changed everything to the Jesus mind
again. It was presentations that if I listen to this
cd it will be all code that Jesus
speaks/telepathically to me directly. So here again
we have the phenomenon that is a continuing theme of
lyrics will have alternate meanings then how I would
usually understand them. I am not talking about words
with multiple meanings being taken as different
meanings. Like when one says “no pun intended.” I
mean it has nothing to do with English at all. It
does insofar and those are the sounds that come out of
their mouth, but the sounds themselves will carry a
different meaning. On this occasion it was a Jesus
information session. That Maynard James Keenen was
Clearly a prophet of Jesus.
This will seem like a trite example but for instance
and this struck me as peculiar. That on the song
“Judith” where there is the chorus “He did it all for
you.” Which in the song is being ironic. During this
experience I had every sound with the mouth (sung),
although in English in our world was shown to be a
altered by Jesus and then the chorus would come “He
did it all for you.” And it was good news, the good
things that Jesus was doing for us. The significance
was from track one until the end of the cd.

AUGUST 19 2003

1/8th ounce and the hardest trip I’ve had
Now I will talk about my experience from August 29,
2003. I was living in Minnesota at the time for only
a few months. It had been awhile since I had done
mushrooms. My supply had finally dwindled. However I
should point out that I didn’t want to do them
anymore. For the longest time I had only done 5 –9
grams per trip. I didn’t conceive to do any other
amount because I wanted to get to these very
interesting states of mind and whatever else, so why
waste the trip on anything else at a lower dose?
However, what was happening during all this time was
the Jesussynchronicty occurrence but it didn’t seem to
offer anything new and interesting. I was miserable
and insane during these trips. It was getting scary
knowing that I pretty much had no free will at all and
that anything could happen.
The problem was as soon as the trip comes on at these
high doses I had the impression I shouldn’t be peering
in on this reality. The information racing through
the head is too wearing. The trips are a bad time.
While sober I would always think of tripping as
enlightening. If I can get information from the true
realm, then this is a good thing, I would think.
So I’m back in Minnesota. It had been eight months
since I had taken mushrooms. I decided to only do
1/8th ounce because I figured this would be a light
trip where I would listen to music. Ironically this
was the hardest I have ever tripped. I was in my
basement, in my bedroom lying on my bed. About 20
minutes after I ate the mushrooms I got the distinct
impression I was going to get hit harder then I had
before. I actually had the thought when I got the
first vibes. “Oh no why do I keep doing this?” “What
could I have been thinking? Obviously I should never
do this again.”
As this thought occurred, I then realized this same
thought has been occurring for my last umpteenth trips
over 5 grams. The problem is I cannot remember this.
One would think I could just record it in my tape
recorder that I have next to me during each trip.
However, the very real problem is it is clear that
matter is such an obvious illusion that when I’m
tripping I don’t think it has any relevance. It’s
falls into the category as too irrelevant to cognize;
it seems so obvious that only a fool would believe
matter is real.
It’s like trying to remember a dream; the two states
of consciousness seems to have their own sets of
memories. In addition, tripping on five grams of
mushrooms put me in an alternate state of
consciousness, this also has it’s own set of memories,
and some that they share. The tripping state has a
memory: “I must stop tripping, this is agonizing.”
Like I said earlier the challenge isn’t just having a
tape recorder near-by, and simply pressing the record
button. Rather, while actually tripping, the concept
of ‘recording something to tape, so that I can listen
to it later is incomprehensible, and my waking sober
life seems like a distant memory.
And now back to the actual trip. At some point within
the next hour, I found myself completely consumed.
The Mind of Jesussynchronicity experience reveals
“Don’t surrender to Matter. Here is the Proof that
matter is an illusion, Don’t fall for it……………..”
All the while turning my mind into It’s Mind of pure
SYNCHRONICITY. The experience of all sounds currently
happening in the room and also a presentation of my
memories of the past three days are shown to be
attempted messages from Jesus. The true interpretation
of that phenomenon is everyone’s true identity is
Jesus. The message is “This is what has and is really
going on.” Everybody is actually me in disguise and
I’m trying to always give messages to not fall for
matter.” Each word that was seemingly trivial in
English was altered and Jesus reveals its Real
Meaning. These are the most mundane encounters that
meant nothing to me or that I had given a thought
about. When presented while tripping these are shown
to be messages from Jesus. I’ll give you a few
examples: While at work one day, a fellow employee
came over to me and said, “It looks like it might rain
today.” Just a basic cliché, I would never give a
second thought to this. In this tripping realm the
reality of this situation was that it was Jesus who
inhabited the person and that the real meaning of that
message was hidden in the English but it had a secret
hidden meaning.
On another occasion an Indian man at my work said
“lets take a left here I think it’s located down this
block.” Again this is just a random statement that
meant nothing to me. But while in the midst of this
trip, this is presented to me as an attempted
communication from Jesus. Both of these examples
sound quite trivial, and this is true. I am simply
saying how it happens. The trip consists of the
central concept that: What is really going on is that
Jesus is all that exists. It is the true reality of
the entire world as we know it. Something happened
where we perceive ourselves as separate. The world of
matter consciousness happened. The day of the trip I
had passed my dad in the house and he made some kind
of sarcastic comment; “Are you going to watch the Lynx
game today?” This also had a hidden meaning, as
revealed by this trip.
I’ll not continue with examples because as you can
see on the surface they are mundane and trivial. I
should say that this is large part of the 4 hour trip.
While being presented with these attempts at
communicating, I would think “How could I have been so
stupid?, What could I possibly have been thinking?” It
will go into a thorough examination of the sound of
the English words, and clearly present the real
meaning. It is clearly there right in front of me.
“Lynx” “Am I going to watch the Lynx?” …………………….
I then continually conclude. “My God it’s so obvious
it was always about Jesus. It was always just a part
of my imagination. We were always with Jesus”
I was laying on my bed this entire trip. As I am
experiencing this phenomenon, I want it to stop. The
Jesusynchronicity entity was seemingly engaging in
some sort of war in another dimension, which had
happened before. It was moving along a grid it
seemed. The constant urgent message: “Don’t fall for
it, have nothing to do with matter.”
It seemed to have the feature of Jesus fighting wars
and also making all opposition irrelevant by being
love. I had the impression of it being like a lion in
that it would release a wave of love, like a lion
would let a roar, intensely like a navy seal attack
and annihilate opposition. There was a notion that if
the five senses where blended together it would
perceive love and no longer be attentive to matter.
One of the issues during this trip was again the
issue of I can thank Jesus, but ironically I had no
choice. It was conveyed that I shouldn’t buy lottery
tickets because that will confine one to matter.
This trip also had looping. When I loop I will
attain a state of what I think is complete sobriety,
and when the loop is at its closest location it will
transform into absolute pure insanity. I should point
out that I know where the loop is on its cycle around
the sphere, so I know when it’s going to hit. As the
loop gets closer the level of madness will increase
and then it will come to a point where it peaks. When
the loop hits, it is a barrage of thoughts speeding
through my head at 700 miles per hour, and I make the
observation when it’s over, “this is absolute madness;
there is no logic, no system of filtering or
organization.” Just thoughts, thousands of them hit
within a few seconds, and you actually cognize each
one. The cognition of each thought is the source of
This trip was only 1/8th ounce but I say it is the
hardest I’ve ever tripped. In fact I actually
urinated in my bed. I have never done this before on
any of the thirty previous trips of 5 to 9 grams. I
was in the state of mind of having not an iota of
comprehension that I was still a human being and that
I had pains in my abdomen to urinate. This trip also
had the trait of physically shifting on my bed, moving
rhythmically but feeling controlled by something.
I do recall it was the second part of the trip that
there was a story that unfolded before me, of the
Gnostic Christian mythology.
Once again I thought it was odd I was going to stay in
my basement for eternity. Once again the phenomenon is
that Jesus is the Logos, a shape in the Unconscious.
A metaphor for this shape would be a disco ball in
that it has many reflective individual sides. I get
the impression that the shape slowly spins, but so
slow as to be almost indiscernible.

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