Help me I'm in Hell

Well, I should probably start by saying this was my first experience with psilocybe shrooms.The person I got them from grows them himself and he said they had insane potenency.All the better for me and the accomplishments I was going for.The only other drug I used to trip off of before this was dxm and I abused that about 10 times.I dont know if you would say I have a mental or emotional disorder but I do think differently than my peers sober and the difference is tenfold when I'm on whatever drug I have at my disposal.I had an extreme sensativity to the dxm and 14 pills my first time sent me to oblivion and back for nearly 2days. I had to receive medical assistance and I had my stomache pumped.My friends told me never to trip again but with such an oppertunity that lied before me how was one to refuse.

-3 of my good friends took the shrooms with me.And I had 2 sober people there as well to keep an eye on things.Mainly I just wanted them there because I have a way of bringing attention to myself and that usually lead to the police.My other 2 friends that were along for the ride use shrooms quite often.They both took 3.5grams and quickly ate them;not needing anything to wash them down.I on the other hand wanted an extreme trip for my first time so I took what was left in the bag.I didnt know how many grams I consumed until a few days later and learned that it was over 6 grams.For anyone who wants to try these shrooms;I suggest you buy a 200dollar scale.These are not for the weak minded.

-All I know and recall before I entered the rabbit hole was kickin back in a reclining chair watching dbz and smoking my choice of smokes; Filterless Turkish Jades.It couldnt have been 20minutes and I was gone.I looked at all my friends and lost focus.Things were growing bigger and then getting smaller.I couldnt tell if my eyes were open or closed when the visuals started.I remember everything looking like the matrix code for awhile.That was an experience.I could here the faint sound of the powerpuff girls music in the backround after dbz.I seemed to have remained in place but my friends said I was freaking out.My good buddy knew something was heading for the worse and he hit me in the jaw to bring me back to this so called "reality world that I usually focus my attention to.I didnt necessarily come back but I could see the tv set.I was on the ground clenching a fist and feeling what I thought to be my jaw;throbbing angrily in pain.That one commercial where the black dudes were in their crib and they here a noise only to check it out to find its the powerpuff girls was on.Anyone that watches cartoon network surely has seen it.Anyway at the end of the commercial the one black guy asks or inquires about what made the girls fall to the ground like they did, and his buddy said they would probably never know...Then you can see the face of mojo jojo on the screen.All I have to say is that his face freaked my shit.I got up and fell hard but managed to escape to the back door.I was headed twards the deck near the pool wishing this was all a dream when suddenly a tree started to wave and one of the branches seemed to stretch out and grab for me.I felt I could jump over the branch but ended up tripping on a chair or something and landed in the water.The cool touch brought a chill up my spine.I knew that I was submurged in water but that was it.I was standing on the bottom of the pool with no desire to move or breathe.I looked up and caught a glimpse of a water helix forming from the outside porch light.The stars were out but with my perspective it seemed like I was caught in a wavelength between the very brink of life and the pure energy that makes up the universe.I could feel my body pulsate on which I was unable to identify how or why.I felt troubled and perplexed.The perilous array of stars seemed to get closer.I had magnificant clarity for having 20/70 vision; and I was not wearing my glasses.Suddenly the brim or surface of the water was the outstretches of space and it began to mass into a whirlpool of light and ferocious sound.The feeling was so intense that I shut my eyes and covered my ears.Then everything went white and for the first time in my mind I could think of nothing.For what had to be 30minutes I layed there like a newly born fetus, curled up, and just existed with no thought,emotion, or sign of life.When I finally came to I found myself laying on a towel, shivering cold in front of my friends.They said I gave them a truely unique discomforting glance before getting to my feet once more.I wandered about trying to find my shirt but to no avail it was lost and forgotten.My friends said I was out for 2 hours and underwater for nearly 5 minutes.I stumbled to a near bathroom to look into a mirror and was horrified.My replica stared back at me.The look was cold, empty, and unfamilular.I was unable to recognize the face staring back,for I aws believing it couldnt me be at all.It felt like I was not really there.LIke nothing existed.LIke life was one big game where you played to win.And drugs were yoiur advasary.The ones that took you to a very unique place that few experience and more importantly few could understand.I walked back in the living room.Everyone seemed speechless but it just occured to me that I aws totally unaware of any sound since being underwater.My sould writhed and I felt an inner pain unlike any before.Almost like my inner being was being torn from reality and the very nature of existance.I put my pack of smokes in my pocket and rummaged around looking for my lighter.My other 2 friends seemed to be comming down and they all wanted to go home.But home had a weird ring to it.Almost as if I've never had one all along.I was in no state to do anything really but I convinced them I was well enough to make the trek on foot.We said out goodbyes and I made off for the sidewalk that would take me in any direction fate layed for me.I still had major effects from the shrooms and the tracers made it near impossible to even walk.Then again I couldnt tell you if I aws walking for I mearly seemed to just arrive at random destinations.I couldnt even think or make any logical conclusions as to what was going on. I was on a rollercoster only just to enjoy or dread the ride.Geometric shapes were everywhere, the night was cold and every tree that lined the stony path to hell was lurking twards me.I somehow recall meeting up at a fence.I dont know if it was someone I knew or a quad car but I saw random blue and white lights all around me and a beam of intense radient in my eyes. I turned to the fence with what seemed like a predetermined objective.I was unconsciously making decisions as what to do next but I was unaware I was doing anything at all.Everything I did seemed so effortless.I remember staring at a barbed fence.I didnt know where it was or what lie beyond but as I bent my head to one direction it seemed to break open for me allowing me to pass then closing quickly leaving my persuers behind.I was pushing forth through what seemed like wavelengths of tenticles grabbing me, invading me, almost like they were pulling at me but in a different way. I felt like my life force or my energy was being drained.I felt the hot white glow from the light on my back.I finally broke free but I was standing in complete nothingness.The floor,the sky, my entire surrounding was dark.An eerie pitch dark.The very depth of a black hole it seemed;for I was everything and nothing all at the same time.A small object at first but growing vastly in size started to approach me.It resembled a stone bench and a young man about 19 was sitting down facing the opposite way.I looked about only seeing headstones and guessed I was in a graveyard.When the man turned to face me I was in absolute shock.I recognized his face and was now able to recollect that he was my best friend that died a few years back in a train accident when the engine struck his car at a crossing.I always inteded to visit his grave but never got around to it.HIs look changed me forever.Never before have I seen the look of death at such magnitude.He had me sit next to him but I was unable to fully maintain focus.Something rested on my head and gripped hard and painful.It was his hand.My body wretched and I fell to my knees trying to scream but not knowing or remembering how to function as a human being.I head an echo like voice telling me "this is how it felt like,to die... go away and run as fast as you can." I tried to make out the rest but I couldnt.The last I heard was "you are not ready, or prepared.You should leave at once.You made your mistake, and now your trapped but you still have time."Time for what?I felt as if energy was being surged through my body.Then i felt the tearing again and I was floating about my body and my friend.His hand was still pressed against my head.Then an explosion of heat and red light was everywhere.I was in a vast dimension of fire and flame and the horizon,up,down, and to both sides stretched to an eternity.Infinite boundries of burning hell.I could feel my skin peel,bubble,and melt and soon enough my corpse was nothing more than fire scorched bone...I remember the scream like nothing I've heard before.I could feel no pain but my body I was staring at from below was suffering.The sheer crack of the decible intense scream was enough to drive what force that kept me living into a narcoleptic insanity.The noise sounded in both ears and rattled in my brain until the last remaining portion of my head exploded and erupted into the firery sanction I found myself in.Then I woke up.Dazed, exausted and speechless.Back to normal if thats what this world is.Then again after what happened I cant tell you what normal is anymore.I was miles from home and apparantly missing for over 2 days.Apparantly a landscaper for the graveyard was the one following me and he tried to wake me for awhile before I came to.When I was finally conscious I started walking which eventually led me home.I aws not even aware of the actions which got me there.I just simply arrived.I feel different since the trip.Extremely different.I feel stretched and torn.One step behind everyone else.Real life no longer makes sence to me.For this life is the countdown for my predetermined manifestation of what I'd call eternal hell...If this is reality, or if other levels of consciousness exist,I definately know there is a difference now. I may not be able to control my inner energy to travel between them but life has a new meaning to me.And the funny part about that is I dont really think there is a meaning at all.Energy never depletes,which means life is eternal.And those who break the boundry of this earthly realm like myself know all to well...Why get discouraged with the life your living now...You still get to look forward to an eternity...An everlasting bliss filled experience or a dark merky hellbound dimension... And as for my future...? Lets just say I'm taking things one day at a time...

Well that was my trip... Sorry it was long. Hope someone took the time to read and enjoy.Questions or feedback? Email me: dj_zuleger@hotmail.com