Have you seen me?

* Description of Mindset & Setting

I was in a great mood, and really looking forward to the trip. The trip started at my friends house and eventually moved to my house, and then later to a car.

* Details of any preparations made for the experience

This trip was planned ahead of time, my friend and I had collected the shrooms earlier in the week, and had been waiting for this day so we could trip in peace.

* Dosage & Timing Information

As for timing I can't really say. The shrooms were taken at around 11:30. I ate somewhere in the region of 14-16 of varying sizes. A rough description would be something along the lines of 6-7 large caps (a few inches across), 4-5 medium size (1-2 inches across) and the rest varying sizes of smaller scale. Stems were also eaten from all of the shrooms. I really odn tknow how much this adds up to in doses, but I know it was ALOT.

* Preparation Method

Just eaten

* Notes on any other foods or medicines that could have also played a role in your experience.

none

* Aproximate Body Weight, Gender, Age

160lbs, Male, 21




So my friend, and I eat our shrooms around 11:30 am. Within 45 minutes the trip is coming on. Sound is being filtered through water, objects blending seamlessyly, wall breathing, corners of the room rocking back and forth and so on. somewhere around 1 1/2 hours into the trip I am gone. All vision is completely wasted. I am even seeing the air at this point, at one time my friend ask me what his face looks like, and I responded "I dont know," I sad this because the air was blocking my view of his face just to give you an idea. I lose track of time here and the world becomes one plane of existance. Time doesn't exist anymore for me, and I'm not totally sure I exist anymore. I am seeing things as a mosaic of events that are pieced together to form one larger being, that being was existance. Not a line, or a globe or happening but a flat canvas painted upon by life. Whether or not this makes sense to you so far I can't say, but it is as accurate as I can describe my thoughts, and understandings at the time. I am zoning in and out reality rapidly, going from my friends room, to night clubs, to anchient egypt and watch bricks stack themselves to form pyramids as I wonder how it happened. So far everything is going as expected, a typical trip, and lots of fun, a self-exploring, however all that will soon change. Sometime (i really have no clue how long) later I come down-or so i think. My friend says he is fine to drive and will take me home. Now I want to stress that I felt completely down at this point, I truely was no longer tripping in any way. No visuals, no mental trip, nothing. My friend takes me home (it is nighttime now, we started this trip at 11:30 am to give you some timeframe). I get home and sit down at my computer, boot it up and proceed to log on aim, visit some sites you know the usual. I start to think about a game i played at the time called socom 2. I log on start playing, everything is fine. I'm in the middle of a gunfight when life as I know it changes. Suddenly everything I see is filtered through a majorly defined 3d honeycomb pattern, my heartbeat rises dramatically, and my body heats up to the point I am burning. I stand up fast and know that I have died. I turn around expecting to see my body lying on the couch where I had been sitting. Utter panic sets in and my mind is no longer under control. I run to the livingroom freaking out and completely unable to define reality at this point, just compeltely and totally confused as if I had been teleported from my couch to a dark hoel that I was now falling down, losing sight on what is real, or what i think is real. I think the only chance i have of my head not exploding ( i am being serious, at this point I was positive my head was on the way to exploding) is to get outside into something consistent, something familiar, and more importantly find some life that was independant of my brain. As I open my door i see my brother standing on my porch who was just about to come in (man what great fucking timing) he sees something isnt right ands begins to ask what is wrong, before he can I tell him we have to go now, hes liek wha then I say again we have to go now. He knows something is wrong and plays along. We get in the car and start to drive, I tell him what happened and he proceeds to drive me around town (not asking alot fquestions, my brother is experienced with drugs and knew what kind of place i was in, and that questiosn was the last thing i needed) while it tried to convince myself i wasnt dead. Now something to note is that at no time did "I" think I was dead, but I thought I was dead. This is exceptionally hard to explain but it was like ego loss (which i have experienced in the past) taken to a whole new level. I actually observed myself from third person, in a most literal sense. I existed in 2 places, and as 2 different beings. I have never been able to figure this occurance out, or correctly communicate it to anyone, I hope my description here provides at least some insight to the insanity. I finally came all the way back down around 1 am that morning. Now the period of time which I was under the effect ranged from 11:30 am sunday to 1 am monday. Not only was this the most insane, frightening, and generaly mindfucking trip I have ever had but the length of time it lasted was unreal.

Now to the after effects- I now feel like I am not myself. Like I am trapped in my head somewhere but this other person currently controls me. I can't explain it but it's as if I view my life in 3rd person. It has completely changed the way I think, the way I view the world, and on the sad side depleted my emotions. I can't remember the last time I was truely happy, and I view almost every action with a "Whats the point" attitude. Now Don't be mistaken, this report is not intended to be a negative report on shrooms. It is just an account of my most intense (and final) trip on shrooms. Shrooms have provided me with alot of insight, and I'm fairly positive these recent complications are just questions tripping brought to light that I have yet to answer.