For the better or worse?

Well, first off I would like to say this is kinda a touchy topic since it has since affected my ability to sleep and ingest drugs.

I hade taken mushrooms 4-5 times before this bad trip and every single one was great. I had great visuals and overall a great bonding experience with my friends.

On night 2 of my friends and I decided to take 3.5 G each of VERY potent EQ's. I had taken these EQ's on an empty stomach, so the effects would obviously hit faster. The trip started off quite normal, just with a VERY fast upcoming. I had very strong OEV and CEV's. I started to get a stomach ache so I decided to sit down. My friends were currently running around and acting crazy for whatever reason. I laid there on the couch, losing more and more sense of reality as the clouds started to dim and night began. I lost where I was and started to wonder what I really was doing. The room had grown large and I couldnt see the walls anymore. I thought I was sitting in the middle of a desert, all alone. Maybe this was refelecting on some aspects of my life, but the trip continued. My cellpohone then rang and my freind Chris was asking where I was. I told him I could not talk and simply hung up on him. Later, the bad trip REALLY started when my Mom called my cell asking why I was not picking up. She then immidiatly called my freinds house and said she needed to talk to me. This for whatever reason, really made things go badly. I went into some sort of "trance." I was probably in the trance for about an hour with my friends in the room. I then all of a sudden woke from this trance and threw up all over my friends couch. This set off both of my friends emotions...

"Ken, are you alright man!?!? Do you need to go to the hospital?"

I replied no, and told them to be quiet and stoip worrying.
My next friends started yelling at me.

"Ken STOP throwing up! Stop acting like this your freaking me out."

I simply told him I couldnt stop and that I would be ok. I told them to put in a movie and not talk at all.We sat there for 2 movies without talking at all, my friends occassionally glancing at me. This whole time my stmoach ached and I was tripping harder than I can explain. My eyes were closed but I felt like they were open. The whole time I held in throwing up anymore in fear that my friends would take me to the hospital. After about 4 hours of this I came out suddenly and felt good again. We all apologized for the things we said and went on with life...

Things havent been the best since this trip. I became more scared of hallucinagenics and now have very bad insomnia. Sleeping problems have occured for the last 3 months. In the end I believe that it was for the best in terms of strength of mind. I dont know if I will ever be able to do mushrooms again. My slef-confidence had gone down and it has taken 3 months to the fact to even start to make a break through. Still to this day I ask myself...

Is it really for the better or worse?