Fear and Loathing

At 2:45 my friend and I broke out a half-ounce of mushrooms. After splitting the bag we each had about 8.2 grams to ourselves (straight from me - DO NOT EVER eat this many mushrooms). After only about 20 minutes I started having mild hallucinations and strange thoughts in my head.

After about an hour and a half into the trip, we left my house and went to my friend's basement to watch TV. But the movie (Major League, or something) brought on horrifying visions of confusion, fear and loathing. All of a sudden my friend stood up and stared into my eyes - I saw his skin melting off of his face and onto his clothes, and he had two glowing eyes bulging out of his head. Then he said, "I think I'm having a bad trip, I think I am," and he walked into his room.

I was so confused about what happened I walked by his door three times to be sure he was there(he was, staring right at me the whole time). All of a sudden I had this incredible fear fall upon my eyes, and I began to make out black and blue writing on the walls off his house. All of the words were indecipherable, but they told me to leave this place as soon as possible. As I started to get home, I looked down on my clothes and body and saw the same symbols and words written all over. Although this was the last vivid hallucination I had, it was far from the scariest part of the trip.

What happened between here and about 5:30 was practically all undescribable. I have a few mental pictures of me walking all around my unfamiliar plane of space aimlessly, and questioning all these unanswerable questions(the questions I will probably never remember.)

But I woke up(metaphorical for something other than sleeping) at about 5:30 with the idea that I was in control of all that happened around me. This idea felt very good at the time: everytime a car drove by, or someone walked in the door, I already knew it was going to happen! As you know, this was all a huge delusion - and my recovery actually made for the worst part of the experience.

By about 6:30 there were two other people at my house - a friend of mine(not the one who ate mushrooms) and my mom. Because I was growing bored of "controlling" their every move, I decided to get up and leave the house. But my mom refused to let me leave, so I tried to explain to her what I was trying to do. Both Jon and my mom were completely unconvinced of my defensive strategy.

I thought that I was making perfect sense, but the next thing I know - I was stuck back in my room. I don't know how I got there, but I knew I had to get out. I tried to run out of my house a few times, and I was constantly screaming that I was "blocked from time". I felt like no time was passing anymore - except from what I perceived, and what I made myself perceive(thats the only way I could explain it). But because there was no time in the rest of the universe, I had to fight with my own mind to make them understand that this was so. They once again were completely unconvinced of my delusions.

By 7:15 I was out of my house and pacing around the block outside. I soon came to a realization that everything I was thinking could very well completely irrational and delusional. I was soon surrounded by fear and loathing, and shut myself off from the world around me as much as I could. Suicidal tendancies filled my brain, and terrifying visions of death and the future will always haunt me. I went home at about midnight to bury the most horrifying experience of a lifetime.