Ego Splitting

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I always loved reading these, and i never really thought that i would have a good one to write. I have never had a lot of shrooms before. And i have never had some of the cool effects that i have read about at the shroomery. But i really have to get this off my back, i mean. a lot of people know, but nobody knows what it was like to be me. What happened to me far surpassed any expectation i had on these things. So i guess ill tell you now.

Me and some friends were heading over to this party. It was a pretty popular party. You know, one of those "be there or be square" type deals. So thinking we were all that. We went. Lots of people i didnt know were there. But they all looked cool enough i guess. But after a while me and my friends decided that the party was kinda tame. So we went looking for some drugs. Now we made the mistake of voicing our dislike of the party and instantly had a few other people agreeing and coming to get drugs with us. No big problem, because it turned out that one of the grew shrooms. So we went over and he picked a pound or so. Not bad at all considering ive only done shrooms a few other times. We headed back to the party. On the way me and the shroom guy, how turns out to have a name, (gee, really?), Jordan, got into an argument about who could eat more shrooms. The wagers started out small like "i can eat 4" etc etc. But by the time we were at the party it was totally blown up. Jordan made the final proposition. I would eat half the bag, and then he would eat the other half. That way we would both be eating way more then we ever had before. I being the somewhat macho jerk, accepted.

So we tried almost EVERY damn recipe to get the friggin things down. We had tea, juice, extract, then just gave up and went with the classic chew and grind. I was almost scared at how fast and how strong everything started to kick in. Only about 10 minutes had passed and i was already starting to trip. So i sat and talked for about another 10 minutes or so. I spent the next 20 minutes doubled over in pain. I thought the shrooms were killing me, it was the worst stomach pain i EVER had. but it did end. (10 advils later). Then it all started to kick in. I was amazed, everything anyone ever said about shrooms was real. Everything was moving and sliding and breathing. But the whole time i had the sensation that i was trying to drown me, to eat me. I think about then i started to freak. I was back to "the mushrooms are killing me!" i didnt realize i had said it, but it turns out that for like 10 minutes straight it was all i could say. Then i remember people, but i couldnt make out who was who. I hated them all and wanted nothing to do with them, I hate everything. The whole world is wrong. The whole world is wrong. Who am i, Why am i here, why wont they leave me alone. Oh god why am i this thing i hate? please dont leave me. not in the pit. please not in the pit. OMigodomiGODopmiGODnotthepitpleasenotthepitidontwanttobealonethere. Please help me, the shrooms are killing me. I dont like this thing ive become. I just want to die. Please let me die. please. not here. the world is trying to kill me. i dont even want to save myself. i dont like what i am. or who i was. i can never be that person again. the whole world hates me. has left me here in this hell that i can never escape. i can never escape what i have been imprisioned in. I just want one more chance. but that wont happen, because now i am always this vile, horrid thing that i detest. EVERY ONE IS! THEY ALL WANT TO EAT ME! DEVOUR MY SOUL AND DESTORY ME! ....please save me.....


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Sorry about the cryptic level. But i couldnt find any other way to describe what i was going through. I was told that i just started crying in the middle of the party and yelling at people. They put me in a room but then i started beging them "please not the pit" and i started choking to death so they took me home, and stayed there the whole nite... I woke up, and as much as you expected me to write "and remembered nothing" i remember ever last DAMN DETAIL. i still hate my life. but i really wanted to share this. I was told that one of the effects of shrooms was a thing called "ego-splitting" but i dont know very much about it.

I hope you enjoyed that. Every day i have to convince myself it was just the mushrooms and i dont want to commit suicide. But maybe that will go away. please help me.


Psilocin
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