All summer long i have been staying up late at night, doing nothing at all. my girlfriend thinks i go to sleep when i hang up the phone at night, but that's really just to get away from her and go into my second life. I have become deeply fixated on learning about mushrooms after i found shroomery. before all i had done is drink alcohol and the thought of putting something in my lungs had turned me off to smoking or weed without a second thought. There is no physical threat with shrooms i soon see, but it makes up for it on the off chance it can mentally destroy you... on the off chance you are weak minded. I cannot keep this desire for something more inside of me and i text my cousin K to see if she has any shrooms. The excitement is too much. I tell my best friend J that he should do it with me, but his girlfriend and my girlfriend cant find out... nothing like losing 2 years of trust to something so small and so big.
My cousin tells me her boyfriends roommates are growing some and i get them about a week later. An eighth for thirty bucks.. jesus. My cousin said they were strong tho... and coming from a druggy i believed her. She told J and me that we should eat less than half each cuz they had some and they were pretty damn fucked up. J was going on vacation for two weeks, or so i thought at the time (he got off work for two weeks but was gone for one) so we had to hurry. This was very hard to do because of his short leash. If i knew he was only gonna be gone for one week i wouldve waited.
At 11 pm my parents went to sleep. I have a blacklight and strobe light and other trip toys to keep me occupied so i knew i could stay in my room. I turned the lights off and got out the bag. I bought tic tacs to get rid of the after taste even tho i had no idea how it would taste. I ate all the little shroomies one by one.. the bag was empty. Think about that. K has built up tolerance and half of an eighth got her fucked up. All the magic consumed. I ate them relatively fast and therefore i wait for forty five minutes before anything.
I knew it would happen tho. tired of watching tv i laid on the floor looking at the ceiling. I have never been stoned so i cannot say i felt stoned but something hit me in the head and i remember how a level 1 trip was described. this was definitly at level 1, and that would be the only transition i could remember to pinpoint. I turned on my xbox and watched an episode of cowboy bebop. This just happened to be the episode where they take shrooms. The first time was alright but i watched it a second time and it was much better. The colors glow much brighter now and i feel like laughing at the colors.
My whole room is lit up with glowing colors, the four blacklight posters mystically glowing and moving. i turn off my xbox and turn to informercials but lay down on my carpet. The carpet is so close and so far away. every fiber clear and well aware of.. it is incredible. As i lay there i turn and look at my everything morphing like goop. I stare at my arm and think if its really my arm. The hairs grow out and are no longer blonde, it is a hairy brown arm. The wavy hair is of a bear and i just know it is. I eventually get up the strenght to stand up and stumble over to my bed and look at my blacklight posters. I dont remember them being this shiny and magnifiscent.
As my eyes wander around the room i see a picturing hanging on the wall of me and my girlfriend from Winter Ball. A surge of emotion and sorrow flows through my body and i am rendered immobile for a moment which seems like second but lasts half an hour. My trip becomes somewhat of a mix of bad and good.
I lay against my bed and look at the tv. Infomercials have been on forever. The person is selling me a computer help disc and everyone is laughing about how easy it is. it is easy and it makes me laugh. everyone in the world is laughing at how easy it is to work a computer. But then they look at the camera and they are now looking at me. they are no longer laughing with me they are laughing directly at me and i become self cautious. They are having such a good time laughing at me, what is wrong with me? Nothing makes sense anymore.. i dont have any problems with me im a good person. Total loss of reality.
I am arguing with myself about what they are laughing at and i am discussing with myself what i should do. I am sitting there staring off into space while my brain is frying and arguing with itself, asking questions that have no answer and answering questions that are not asked. I know who i am but i just cant figure out what exactly i am... am i god? arent we all gods over ourselves? Everything is no longer clear as it once was.. the black and white is now grey. It doesnt bother me that nothing makes sense i am just worried about what they are laughing at. 19.99 with shipping and handling.
My desktop changes its background every thirty minutes. My buddy list dissappears and the inside of my monitor is painted with the wallpaper, there is no screen, just a curved glass with my backgrounds that wave in the wind. Broken thoughts scramble through my brain making new thoughts. It gets to a point where all the input from other things, the blacklight, tv, and computer is too much for me.
The thought never crosses my mind to change the channel but the girls gone wild are morphing and driving me mad so i turn it off. Everything else is too much input, i need to lay down and let my mind make my own ideas, everything else is irrelevant right now. somehow i manage to put my computer to sleep and turn my blacklight off. i lay down, now scared more so than i have ever been in my life. Holding onto a stuffed animal easter bunny wanting to go back to reality, it is a nice reminder that this is all going to dissappear eventually. My room is the hottest room in the house and my face is melting off with sweat. I cant feel my face but the wetness on my fingertips that find their way to my face help me figure out im sweating. i can feel my feet and my hands with different parts of my brain, feeling them all at the same time moving individually. When will it end it is too damn much. Time dissappears and comes back. I can live an entire life in one minute and turn off for an hour and not remember a thing.
At five in the morning i have to pee. I stand up and stand in the middle of the room. Turn around and see the whole room through fish eye lenses it seems. I feel like this isnt me but its someone else. I feel like this room is real but im not really there... a ghost able to walk around where ever i want. I forget to pee and lay down listening to the music of my brain inside my head. It sounds beautiful and cosmical. Eventually i fell asleep...
It has been about a month since i had that experience and i couldnt figure out if i should place it under level four or five... seeing as it was my first trip i decided i couldnt really judge. maybe it was both. All i know is that everything was gone. You can learn a lot about yourself through something like this and i strongly encourage people to give it a try, at least if they are looking here right now. I will be sure to report my trips as i have them. sorry i ate your share J, we will go tripping soon dont worry. Good luck and stay safe first timers.