complete reality fuck..please comment, i need help.
School ended and my friend, lets call her sally, and i head home.
School ended and my friend, lets call her sally, and i head home. She had never tripped before, and i was intent on ensuring her saftey through out the day...little did i know she would be the one from keeping me from completley detaching from reality...
We sat down in my kitchen and slowly removed the wrappers from our 3 gram chocolates..Sally only ate half of hers...while i swiftly chomped mine within 2 bites......then proceeded to eat her other half. (A note about me, i tend to over do it...a lot. and this was no exception.) i had not eaten all day..so the trip came on me hard and fast...within 20 minutes i was feeling effects. My blinds were sagging...my oriental rug was swirling; it was a good time. I called my pal and he came and picked us up with a few friends....we went over to our local hang out spot...and walked the trails and smoked a bowl. I was now at the loops in the rollercoaster, my trip strongly increased further with every toke. After smoking my trip was intensified and began writing music in my mind..composing twenty songs in a matter of hours. however...my depth perception was no completely gone, everything was 2-dimensional as far as i was concerned.
now the trip gets bad
we hopped in the car and headed over to a 7-11...i kept rambling about how strange i felt...complaning of a stomach ache as well..we then proceeded to a beach..and then another beach...none of these places would calm me down.. Someone decided food would be good to get....i was in my own world completely...complete loss of my reality..talking to myself.....etc. I then ran out of the car..and into the McDonald's bathroom...
Now it gets real, real bad..
i knew i was going to vomit...so i ran to the toilet..no vomit came. i leaned over...and felt a strange sensation in my teeth...as well as my eyes...everything became very heavy..then, things slowly faded to black. awakened by an elderly man, i rose from the floor...my head was pulsating...the old man held the door for me..then disappeared..i walked out of the McDonald's as quickly as possible. When i entered the vehicle i was stared at as if i had 3 heads..i was pale as a ghost...and i had black rings under my eyes...i was sick. i told my friends i hit my head...and tried to explain what had happened, i couldn't remember. then suddenly i felt calm, sober. the peak had ended..but of course a mushroom trip is in waves..so...of course it got bad again. i saw so many dimensions within everything i looked.........i was all..i was controlling all of the actions going on in the world.
then the deja vou set in:
everything that was said had been said before...everything i felt was felt before as well.
i was not longer tripping...but i was emotionally overwhelmed..i have just today been thawed out after years of being a emotionless monster. i began to freak out..bad..so i got a ride home and played scrabble with sally. everything she said reminded me of when i was a child, triggered memories i wish i could forget..my entire reality had recessed to when i was a 5-8 year old boy. my friends stopped by; i read them like books. i knew what this entire conversation would be, prior to even initiating a conversation. i knew every word they said.
so we went to pick up more psychadelic drugs...every phrase they said, i had heard their exact words prior to.. sally left to her friends...and me and my pals road bikes and walked...i felt like a child again...riding bikes for miles.(i rode on the handle bars)
when we arrived at the house...i finally realized that everyone had changed..not just me, and my friends. everyone...i tried to speak to my friend/supplier about what i had experienced today..i felt sick with myself..and could no longer explain it, we road skateboards around until about 12..and it is now 2:30 am..
my emotions are completely destroyed...i am overwhelmed with feeling once again, i have been calus for many years. i have emotion once again but this reality feels like a complete mind fuck...i'm still feeling deja vou. thoughts run through my mind.....what if actually cracked my head open when i blacked out...what if im actually lying on an ER table....struggling to live...i would gladly accept that reality over how i feel right now...please help me