it had been my 3rd time taking psilocybin mushrooms.
it had been my 3rd time taking psilocybin mushrooms. I was confident in my ability to handle them even tho i had only had small amounts previously. I ate somewhere between 4 and 5 dried grams of them.
took about 30 minutes to start tripping. was laying in bed, then all of a sudden it started moving like it was.. well i can't explain it, it's kind of like the feeling when u are on a landing plane and everything is moving fast. that's where it started. then i got the intense cold feeling.. that was kind of annoying.
i proceeded to watch cartoons waiting for the trip to hit. then whamo, my perception was destroyed. the world turned into a moving mass. the cartoons, which i'm sure were very simple, were impossible to understand. but i flicked the channel to the matrix.. and it seemed to make perfect sense. fearing that i would go insane if i kept watching it knowing inside that the matrix is 100% possible theoretically and that life as we kno it is merely just a perception... but anywho i flicked it to something like 50 first dates or something funny and just watched and thought.
then my tv "started on fire" i deemed this unlikely in my normal perceptions so i just ignored it and looked at it occasionally. then i looked at my arms, and this startled me, because they did not seem like me, they looked more tentacle like, and almost skeletal, so i proceeded into the kitchen to grab a knife to hack them off.. stopped myself thank god (who may or may not exist don't even get me started)
i walked back in and laid on the couch and looked at my stomache because i wanted to kno what a stomache looked like on shrooms. I saw maggots crawling under my skin.. again this was startling and i wanted to do the same thing, but i figured it was more than likely my imagination (what is an imagination? isn't it just possible realities that you perceieve in your mind but not in your senses? idk?) after that i called some friends to help me chill out because i didnt like knowing that i am alone in the universe and i have absolutely no proof that anyone else exists, and niether do you. While talking on the fun i remained mesmerized by the twisted trees outside it being fall-winter and no leaves being on the trees (somewhat depressing i guess?) i still get tripped out by them occasionally (flashbacks?).
Most people can not handle the mental toll that this puts on you. It's not fun realizing that you could be psychotic, alone, delusional, God, or any other of the limitless possibilities. You question literally everything in your life and question everyone. That is my experience, and if you somehow find this desirable, then you are a fucking idiot. just live and be happy. you don't need fucking drugs to live your life.
Body Weight at time: 130ish?
Food: Empty Stomache
Mindset: Bored, curious
Setting: Suburban household w/ relatively wooded surroundings
Preparations: None.. taken early afternoon trip ended mid evening
After-effects:Permanent doubt about perception of the world.
I am very unintelligent for taking this drug and I see no real positive aspect that outweighs the negatives in taking an amount this large or even the drug at all. I do not claim to be intelligent so don't bash my intellgence level, I realize that i have made a mistake and that is why I am posting this.. to try to keep others from repeating it. especially if they are around my age. you will be much happier if you are stupid and have only a narrow perception. You can't handle the truth. Again.. please don't bash any of this, it will serve no purpose. i believe i have made it clear enough that i have made a mistake.