12.30pm Sat 22\6\02 i consumed 10 grams of B+ alone in my house , i got my sounds ready and sat back to enjoy . 10 grams you may ask well i had taken 10 grams before so why not again . I had Korn on and was enjoying a worldcup match on TV .
1.30pm i was enjoying it so much i never wanted the door to go the phone to ring infact i took it off the hook i was into the solitude , me my sounds and my little 100% organic friends . The visuals were tops and the feelings were like i had never felt before this was one of my best trips ever.
My thought train was going everywhere from Layne Staley to Jim Morrison then i started thinking about the job interview i had had midweek.
It never went that well i was asked questions i should have answered in a split second but stumbled and stuttered through it . Then i started to think how bad it went and howw bad i had done and these thoughts just spiralled out of control .
I was a not good son of a bitch , a waster , a loser and as i said these thought got so bad i was sweating shaking i wanted to end it all cause nothing was worth living for not my family my house nothing. I paced the floor went upstairs back down again these thoughts in my mind , i was scared , frightened like never before.
My wife came in and i could not tell her i just said i was going for a nap and went upstairs and sat still sweating and still these thoughts of my life not worth living , i wanted to end these thoughts by anymeans , then i told her.
That was what saved me , i cried like a baby she took me in her arms and told me i was not all the things i was thinking and started to convince me it was ok. I cried to my friend on the phone also but then started slowly to come round to sanity.
What has it taught me , a lot , i new these little things could bite but never realised how deep or sharp the bite could be , i never gave them the respect they deserve i do now, how the perfect day can change like that is frightening it was like heaven and hell within mins , i wish it on no one.
I shall be trippin again and i shall be trippin alone ,its taught me and i know what to exect now.