It was late, I had just worked a long shift and was feeling rather tired. There was the same old party crowd at my house, and I was in the mood to loose my mind.
Now I had tried small doses of mushrooms a couple of times before and had nothing but awesome happy experiences .... I had no idea what I was in for this time though. Well to make a long story short a friend offered me some mushrooms said he had enough for two and wanted to eat them then. Me being the idiot I can be, jumped at the opportunity. About 15 min and a 1/4 bag later I knew this was going to be scary. I had one true friend that I lived with and he was leaving town that night. The guy I tripped with was a friend,but I had not know him long. ( Big mistake )
He tripped alot, he said and wanted to leave the party ...fine by me!
I was tired of people starring at me or what seemed to me as being starred at. Into the car we went I was rushed by feelings of fear, anxiety, and death.
Riding in a car with someone you don't know while already tripping the way I was,was very frightening. We ended up on some gravel road by this huge water tower that was slightly leaking which seemed quite odd.
This is where all reality vanished forever. I remember running around as if a child spinning, jumping yelling about how alive I felt. I sat in the grass running my fingers through it feeling like we were one and the same. My vision kept breaking down everything into little cubits and I could see that all these cubits all fit together including me the trees all the plants.I could feel energy coming right out of the ground. I felt a connection of all living things, its hard to explain but it was a connection of life, to all humans as one great species. Heaven on earth. I no longer felt human but rather animal like, and everyone from this point seemed animal like.
I still was very nervous feeling and my stomach rolled until I puked some foamy type substance. Which enhanced the trip like someone putting a turbo nitrous on your brain and putting the petal to the metal. This scared me senseless!! Death seemed to look me in the eye at all times and in an instance I could see death all around me in all forms. I tried to speak but this did no good, my brain stuck in an eternal loop looking for answers of some sort after a while I got the point across that I needed to go home ....I Was Freaking OUT!
In an instance we were back, I had no Idea how but here I am at my door. I opened the door and all the people were still there and they were really starring at me this time all waiting for me to do something stupid. Me being the good host I am didn't let them down. I walked straight over to the counter pulled the flowers out of the glass and drank the water. It happened so fast I don't know really why I did it I was in a loop all I could think was water. With everyone laughing at me I just freaked out more from this point.
I locked myself in my room where I felt safe until people kept banging on the door. I thought they were all out to get me. I was very scared I wanted my mom or my dad or any close person (Sounds silly I know) but I trusted no one. After crashing my room crying praying for someone I trusted. My only comfort was the feeling that everything was making sense, life the big picture of this world.I laid on the floor with my head in a basket unwieving it with my mind. Boom!!! The door opened "what!" I swore I locked it I quickly kicked it shut, and locked it for sure this time.
I suddenly lost time I thought I had been out of it for days. My room was a mess I tried to pick it up but it only messed it up worse, the mess really bothered me. I felt dirty seeing all my sins and all the meaning in life that I had been overlooking. This was a harsh understanding that my life was built around fake reality. After what seemed endless time I built the courage to escape my room.
I put on a coat grabbed a few pointless things, down stairs I went through the gauntlet of people and questions they tried talking to me and asked where I was going I just ran as fast as I could to my car fired it up and started a wild journey home (Over an hour away). Leaving the area I felt like it was the slums I saw cars burning people starring I even remember ducking down when other cars went by thinking I would be shot at. My car felt old worn and hard to drive. Everything was different as if I had never drove any of these roads. After about I might guess 30min or so I found the highway. Thankfully it was late not much traffic.The drive was scary I wasn't sure if I was dead or someone else or born again. I felt God looking right at me and I couldn't hide anything. I thought maybe I was to live in this perfect heaven which I saw earth as and the past was just some type of test. 30 miles later and 1000000 thoughts I decided to make a layover to try to find a close friend of mines house. I thought maybe he could help me calm down..... Big mistake
Lost in this city I stopped in a gas station. After stopping I realized I had no shoes or socks on and the reason I was sweating was that heater was on full blast and I had one coat on over another coat. Luck had it that I had some old shoes in the back. Entering the station It was obvious that I was out there I asked for a phone book only to realize I had lost all ability to read, still always thinking of water I grabbed a bottle of water and took it to the counter only to find I had no $$$. The clerk seemed very concerned, gave me some free water and asked if she could help me. I thanked her and left in a hurry.
Back in the car and lost driving around I kept seeing these churches maybe it was me but they seemed to be everywhere. one church I remember said something about the end and If you were ready on their billboard. I took this very literal, exploding my mind again. I remember stopping to pick up a hitchhiker or maybe I stopped thinking he needed a ride I don't know , he gave me a strange look like I was nuts and said, "uuuunooo thanks".
Somehow I had found the highway home, I saw things like large buildings and signs. It was if I was in the future and was seeing stuff that had never been there before. After what seemed hours I found my way home, strangely though no one was there I felt so dirty so I cleaned up still not sure what I was, when it was or If any of this was real or weather or not I was dead or alive.
Finally the door opens and its my dad. Right away I asked him if he was real and gave him a huge hug. My dad the old tripper that he was Paused for a long moment and said, "son are you tripping or something" I said, "no Dad" I just ate these mushrooms. I tried to explain my thoughts It did no good. He could see that I just wanted to sleep I laid in my old bed and awoke a new person.
I have not been the same since its been nearly a year now. I see beauty in things like nature and have a much larger respect for this planet. I think I am a stronger better all around person and maybe a little wiser. Tripping is something that can only be explained in your own mind. I recommend shrooms to anyone seeking spiritual and mental growth.
Be with a close friend
Be in a good state of mind before consumption
Don't eat them tired or after a long day
Ego Death is Not a bad thing but can be very scary
well have fun be safe
REV. Its been almost 6 years since this trip. I re-wrote to make it easier to read.
This experience still sticks with me and I am still a much more easy going person since my ego death. My respect for nature and view of the world will forever be changed by this trip.