I wrote this for a creative non-fiction class and thought I would share it with a community who would appreciate it more.
The mind can be considered infinite itself; however, the every day thought processes that dominate the inner workings of our brains set bounds on where we can travel within ourselves. There are many ways to shift our cognitions, therapy and education being the most expensive. There is even a method to transcend any sort of habitual experience that we confront in our every day reality; it comes to no surprise that this method is considered illegal. It is with this method where the realm of eternity and the Nothing awaits, but first a journey must be endured.
And It Begins (next paragraph is supposed to be italicized for subjective effect, up to "entrance of the cave")
Right now I feel so anxious, something extraordinary is heading my way, and I can feel it. The uneasiness grows as I am unable to discern what is filling me with such extreme anxiety. I am not sure whether I should be afraid or eager, polarity increases inside my mind as the oppositions grow; an immaterial battleground. Not only that, I feel as if no chair or bed can satisfy my discomfort–am I in prison?–that cannot be, for in prison the floors do not breathe in sync with me… Wait! Floors don’t breathe! This hallucinogenic experience feels like a rocket-ship to the moon, and I am unaware of the distance of the flight; I am only at the dimmed entrance of the cave.
Reality replaced: every idea, thought, or hallucination has equal chance at representing your current, yet false reality. The physical world that you’re accustomed to transforms into an alien world formed through interpretation of distorted thought and perception. Anything is possible and it is up to your mind to decide where you are and what to think. Selective filtering of your thoughts is gone, allowing your mind to become aware of every signal coming into your brain; thoughts fly like a swarm of bats in an overpopulated cavern.
And It Continues (next paragraph is supposed to be italicized for subjective effect)
I can see the stitching of reality as it begins to dissolve, the concept becomes alien to me and it feels as if I am in the midst of realities atmosphere. My perceptions and thoughts seem to be forming the physical world around me; I am happy, listening to music and amongst a few close friends: every color is vivid, bright, and lustrous. One of my friends transforms into the appearance of a humanoid hamster in front of my eyes, his body undulates to the rhythm of music that seems to materialize from nowhere; I look around for its source.
“Uhhh wavy hamster?!” I incoherently babble towards the direction of my transformed friend.
“What?” The humanoid hamster friend replies.
“Freak-bitch!” Is my response to his confusion.
For no reason at all, or one that I am unable to discern I fill with gloom and the positive atmosphere around me declines, my hamster-like friend begins to take a new role, he morphs into a “Teletubby” while walking past me. Colors transform from bright to dim, although they still hold that earthy quality. The air envelopes my tongue as I stick it out of my mouth, it feels forceful, telling my tongue to sit still as if it is the air that causes it to wiggle; it leaves a pungent taste. My thoughts jump from wondering where the hell the music is coming from, then suddenly to “why the hell did that guys arm just fall off?” My mind begins tricking me into believing there are people rolling around on the ground fighting, throwing chairs around and punching deep holes into the walls, what a tangent! I quickly glimpse at a coat rack which transforms into a group of living people.
“People!” I yell at a group of friends while pointing at the coat rack.
“Dude, that’s just a coat rack.” One of them replies, although I cannot tell which one.
Usually around this stage one may find the opportunity to experience emotions and moments that one may not have ever experienced in every day reality. The inner workings of the mind become increasingly arbitrary but with experience one can learn how certain mindsets and environments will incite particular journeys and awakenings. Dreams can be lived vividly, fears can become reality. Emotions can be experienced in their purest, rawest forms. Many describe psychedelic mushrooms as a magnifying glass to the soul. Imagine a favorite memory which incites a particular emotion or feeling; under the experience I speak of, this conjured feeling will transform from micro to macro. There is one precaution though; at times the user can get trapped in a vicious thought circle where they arrive at the same foundational thought over and over through a circular thought chain.
Now we move onto one of the weirdest and most intriguing experiences I have ever felt. This is the place of The Physical Void, the place of pure physical nothingness. This is the most abstract feeling and place I have ever encountered. This is also a contradiction.
And Then There Was Nothing (next paragraph is supposed to be italicized for subjective effect)
I feel like I am an astronaut, without a safety harness attached to my ship, floating away into the abyss of space, and ultimately past the boundaries of an expanding universe into nothing, into The Void. It feels as if the Big Bang hasn’t happened yet… What happened to the Big Bang? Nothing is here, but I am here. Is this Nothing in its most concentrated form? The more time I spend in this Void, concepts seem to disappear more and more. Will I wait here for eternity since time has taken a vacation? Now I forget what time is… My thought processes seem to be fading, yet still there…I feel dead due to incoherent thought and sense. I slip further into The Void. Eventually I merge with nothing, with The Void, drifting along the waves of nonexistence.
Concluding paragraphs incomplete.
Nothing consumes, forever nothing, conclusion need Big Bang. What happened to Big Bang?