ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE

I have no idea of the dose i took, all i know is that 5 of us had a large mug of mushroom shake each. The fact that i am about half as big as the other guys should have warned me to take less than they did but i just downed the disgusting mixture and legged it to the taxi ( this was in thailand at the full moon party)...

The effects started very soon after climbing into the taxi. I cant remember what i saw but i was happy and enjoying the ride... until we got to the beach where the party was going on. I stumbled out of the taxi into a bar where i sat down, but instantly felt very uncomfortable. I thought id go to the toilet just to get away. It was like i was in a film being watched watever i did. When i got to the toilets the visuals rose to the next level. I saw tesalating images layered onto my eyes... frog faces morphing into logos and other crazy shit.

I made it back to the table where my friends were sitting as well as a load of guys from the same bungalows. I couldnt hear properly and i thought this guy was talking to me, so i asked him what he said but he just laughed- which made me think id heared voices in my head...

Time to leave the bar and go to the party, and i was getting more and more tense. My movements were jerky and i was starting to find it difficult to walk.... and then as i was walking through a crowd of people the horror really started. I felt myself fall back into my self- my vision went hazy and i saw my friend look back asking what was wrong ( i think). We got some water and then went and sat down by some guy who was performing with fire staffs. This is where i passed out, only to wake up to this girl i know saying - hey, i smell pee. Another wave of pannic swept through my body. I thought id wet myself although i was just too fucked to tell. Now i think about it i think the girl actually said- Hey, wheres ashley ( my friend), but paranoia had the better of me and my thoughts were going in a downward spiral.

My legs were shaking so much i couldnt walk properly, as this girl dragged me to another area of the beach, where i sat down and tried to calm down with no succes. I went into my mind wherei saw the most intricate spiky fractal which i was zooming into so fast that it mentally hurt... and then i was out. I woke up shaking and thought id wet myself again.

I closed my eyes and was hearing the whole beach of people laughing at me. I was shaking with fright, and then i passed out again...

.... waking up thinking id pissed myself again, and then thinking - hang on - this has already happened- deja vu.

this cycle continued the whole night- waking up having the same thoughts, passing out, getting paranoid. I wasnt thinking of death, all i could think was that my mind was fucked, i was gonna be stuck in this loop for ever- the ultimate nightmare of eternal torment.

Eventually the loop started to widen as i felt normal for longer periods of time before falling into hell again. Now i could enjoy the trippyness of the visuals. Staring out to see the waves looked like beams of lasser coming towards me. Trees looked like coiling psychadelic snakes.

Latter- i found my self in a toilet cubicle where there was a bath of water- i climbed into this bath to wash myself... When i exited the toilet you can imagine the look on my friends faces.


The whole experince was really foul- i hated it and never want a trip like that again. Its really scared me that i got stuck in a deja vu loop, and the other day i smoked a bong which sent me back into this loop... i was lying in bed shaking, with a deep feeling of cold. I could almost feel my brain screaming in pain.

Its gonna take a long time to get over this shit...