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A colorful surrender

This 4.




This 4.2 gram experience was with myself and a long time trip buddy. To prepare, we smoked a few small bowls of blueberry-nugs, relaxed outside, and allowed ourselves to slip into a "best-friend" like, sort of egoless conversation with a natural/mutual flow and much mind-game-type humor as the good pot always provides even between strangers. At this point in our so very psychadelic lives, we were both able, while sober---or just stoned, and at will, to alter each others heart-rate/body temperatures with a "certain types of conversational evolutions", so we were pretty close in the way of "small-group experiences".
This was only our third time on shrooms together, and had never been by ourselves on the sacrament.
We Boiled 2 grams, waited 20 min. to enjoy a swift come-on and some good laughs(knowing what was to come was already serious), we then ate about 2.2 grams each to initiate a longer lasting peak and tail end of the last dose, coupled with the slow come on of the non-boiled shrooms which would make it very intense just at our planned time, the right time. (This 2.2 grams added eventually made this a very serious/intense and elongated experience).
It doesn't matter how much acid you think you can eat, and us two could eat alot of the "goods", it wont prepare one for the kinds of experiences that can be perpetuated, less-so by extreem doses, but more by extreem intentions when taking shrooms or shroom-like substances, (like ayahuasca, *DMT).
T+45 minuits into it we were stunned by the intensity and the plyability of the mind to, through previouse experiences, more easily feel, accept and move foreward through the dencity of the experience.
It was mentaly/visually less difficult, Ego-desintigration was more systematic and interesting than a whole bunch of good-acid(350+ ugs). The experience lead us to less laughing, and then toward more silent astonishment than we planned for.
T+80-115 WE experienced an elongated peak, of which the waves were all juxtaposed, inter-related, more subtle and more frequent because of the two evenly spaced doses, allowing the two of us to wade in the deep waters of what one could call total ego-loss, revealing an ability to speak the primordial language (in english) as time passed. This always sort of elluded us on acid, or anything else. The language that inspires the increadible capasity to speak of insights, experientially appropriet mathematics, and poetry that doesn't seem to be you, and are well intigrated but not always prompted by train of thought.
All kinds of crazy shit happened to us this night since the come-down was long and hard. We were able to measure time dialation on accident, again and again. And learned much more about how time dialation and hierarchal/multi-layered cognition works with communication, chaos and synchronicity both inside and outside the body(The phone persistantly rings and we have an unspoken climax or landmark in the system, as the though occurs again and again between two people, all in cycles. There were astonishing cycles layered maticulously upon other related cycles of time. I only wish we had a tape recorder that night. However the best stuff was communicated with facial gestures and as hand gestures, often meant to express the end and most incomprehensible of thoughts.
This was the last good trip we ever had together because we, in a very real way, think, know, or rightly assume we know to much for our bodies to handle. Personaly, it makes my experiences hard, but my friend is not as much a part of the destination anymore(attractor/axiom), partly because it depends more on me and my faith in it and where I want to go--->free of the self and body, than it does him and his processes that pertain more to the self and the body, which is an interesting end to this story.
It is also the beginning and the end of any group experiences from now on for me, even with any single true shaman.
After thinking about it, there is a neuronal-gatekeeper responsible for protecting the knowledge held by a super-micro/macro-scopic lense held in matter and thus time, a universal, unmoved-mover that can fit on the head of a pin as a lense, and tears at the heart of those even approaching the great secret of the fusion and grand organization of time and how it relates to things I wont talk about, (Body+mid+exterior environment), and it now laughs at us and our attempt to experience it "together" while still living, and strikes me in the heart/mind, "helps" me forget to breath, and pulls me into a very dark place filled with descending hooded pillars of graphite and gyrating space that intentionally make me worried(with a function), induce hypercardia, and delerious as I fight recombination, or being physically kicked out of the sort of "time-space-matrix",(passing out). Where I go from here is another story in my attempt to stay in this place for some time.
This experience was a stepping stone, or rocketship to a place my friend was not as scarred of as I was. Then again, I play my obviouse role and he plays his in these intense experiences and I am the antenni for the weird and schizotypal genetic tendancies. He lands my plane, only for it to take off again to higher heights with his/my fuel of logic.
If you take enough, over a long period of time, it all becomes about the art of mastering one's environment(and the stunningly intense and long-lasting after effects of medium-large doses). It can get scary because of serious experiences such as the one that I spoke of with my best friend that allow for future safe passage to a place of no return(for some). A safe passage to be feared because the destination is not poinient, but weighs a ton and moves in slight curley fragments of light and sound, forever. You will know it when you see it or hear it for the first time.
When you get to know it and it talks to you, you've got a problem, or most people would feel this way.
I hope this is posted because I did not discuss any science. Yet None of this is subjective, and it is real, and it does resemble schizophrenia once you get there. I hope people can learn from me and my friend's experiences, because he and I just recently went there alone but further than ever, and we have never been "normal" since. I am a very different person after these rescent developements. Since I did this with ayahuasca I had a 4 Week long trip and can never touch a hallucinogenic again.
It all stemmed from this social confirmation between my friend and I, knowing the precursors to this mess we eventually created before we really saw it's true form.
For both of us this fascilitated alot of crying, and rapture for weeks after our final experiences. There is still a very cautious felling, but still there is a NEED to return before we die.
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