3days. Murder Scare.

T'was a weekend I wouldn't recommend anyone try. I warn all not to combind substances.

WARNING! THE FOLLOWING IS VERY DANGEROUS TO THE BODY AND MIND. AND THE EFFECTS OF SUCH A BAD TRIP NEVER GO AWAY!


It started as an evening of Cocain. small party good times going round on a shiny plate. After 6 hours of that, At 6 in the morning when everythign had died down to a buddy of mine, a lady friend and myself. Me and my buddy decided to continue our good times with a dose of very strong (way tomuch for a single dose) of LSD. And not thinking coherently within 20 minutes of that we had consumed more cocain and an amount of Mushrooms i am unaware off. (At the time i was a distributer and had well over a pound, no idea how much each of us consumed. We just munched out of a pound bag.) That was the end of the cunsomtion of brain food.

Instint peak. There was no oh oh i feel it coming. It was nothing, nothing, nothing, Boom! Peak.

The beggining was so intense that nither of us could comphrehend at the time and even now what we were seeing. I recall it as absolute darkness, in a very well lighted room with eyes wide-open. But i know at the time that it was not darkness, it was so unreal and within the most inner part of my mind, soul, spirit, subconsious; whatever you want to call it. That is the best i can do to discribe the start unfotunatly, i am sorry. To intense to place into words.

After a unknow duration of that, when the both of us were back to some what of a fimilar reality we began to try and explain how Horribly Awsome it was.

My buddy is a quiet fello, so i began to talk. Incoherent babble. I began to talk about some of my theories of life.

Death, physical and mental. Transformation from one life to another in the ongoing cycle of life without death. How one can die physically, but the mind will again awake just in another physical world. I wont go into details of this.

So focused on my thoughts and what i was talking about, that i don't really recall visuals at all during this time. I suppose i was just visualizing what i was saying. I dont remeber, i was going to hard.

The trip gets really bad. My Buddy and I are at a friends house, and she is heavily coked out, but not tripping. I quiet down and she goes into a terrifying rant about being abused as a child, raped, and so on. Not something you want to hear while tripping insanely. This set my friend into a downward spirle of bad thoughts, he just went and layed on the coach. She then put on this really depressing music. or atleast it seem that way. it was a mix cd. some of it was goo goo dolls, thats all i remeber about that. i really didn't focus on it, but my buddy did. Didn't help his state of mind at all.
Myself and our lady friend sat and i listin to her talk about all her bad times in life. It was horrible and i wanted it to stop. but at the same time i was trying to help her and comfort her. Our engery was going through her, she too felt liek she was tripping even though she had taken no brain food.

Setting: Small appartment, bedroom and kitchen and loung room connecting.

We were sitting in the kitchen and my buddy was on the coach in the loung room listing to sad music and sad lady speaking.

I then began to talk about myself, how i work, and my sick obsession with control, that i dont ever really realize or think about untill tripping to hard.

I could sit here and describe what i was talking about, but it is scary and can be boring. What i will do is tell you how my buddy prescived it.

I was standing behind a 3foot wall that was inbetween the kitchen and loung room. It had pillars every foot and ahalf going to the celing. I was on the kitchen side with my hands holding the pillars as high as my arms reach.
Talking about Controll and Death and how sick of a person i really am when you break down why i do things, even the things i do in good intention. and i am talking about how sick everyone is, not just myself. The true reason why people behave thw way they do. Sick. We are all sick people. just so you know.

My friend is laying on the coach staring at me, listing to me talk about How people of the world, myself, and him are sick people. Well He understood and related to this. It began to scare him, but he was so fasinated that he didn';t tell me to stop. and it didn't occuire to me that it may becauseing him a bad trip.

He would later tell me 3 months later, that when i was talking like that, that my skin turn orange and my lips purple, i grew small, inch to inch and a half horns, and my regualr dress cloths appeared to be a suit. I had become the Devil in his eyes. With the speech of Charles Manson.(i wasn't much help becasue i was smiling, and due to my jaw line, i have a shmermy, or devilishly coi grin /smile natually.) (and i normally carrie a knife in my pocket, and i have a tendency to play with it in my pocket. I didn't have it this day, but i had two lighters, and i was playing with those in my pocket, and my friend thought that the clanking of the lighters was my knife.)

He was tripping harder than I.

Well we have now been in this small area for well over 24 hourse, due to the party the night before, the earlymoring cocain binge and our brain food. We sought fresh air.

He more than I. He got up to go walk around outside a minute to cool off, get his head straight, and fresh air.

I made a mistake of say "Make sure you come back" as he was walking out the door. I was saying it becasue i knew he was tripping and didn't want anything bad to happen. He saw it as bad intentions.

Well now it is just me and out lady friend in this small area. The blinds were closed but bright white light glimmered in every now in again. Gave me the sense that this appartment was the inside of my mind. I was standing at the center of my brain. (Had this feeling the whole time, but in some silents it really came down on me.

Well i turn to her and told her i was GOD. Yes, that kind of thing happens when your brain is fried. (we hadn't stoped doing cocain yet either. just brain food)
I was god, and i was having an identity crisis. And god created man in his self imiage and I was the image he had choosen to be it. and if god were a woman, she would be that imagin, and my best buddy whom had left the room, was second to best choice. Well i continued on this tangent for quite some time.

{When i use the word god i mean not intirely as the all mighty divine power, yet just the creater.}

I was god and i was trying to write the perfect story,(history of time, i was just the new focuse story. People like Jesus, Manson, Morrison, Budda, ect were other storys. But history continues) and i had come to the ending but i couldn't write it. I had gone through all the great things in the history of the world, that my only good ending was Death. The meaning of LIfe. Everyone is here to go to that, or to stop those people to get to it. We all desire it, yet are all afraid of it. and fears keep us, but curiosty draws us near. You find the meaning and that is Death, the end, no more, if you know all then nothing is left.) But i couldn't bring myself to do that, i wanted a better ending. This kind of though repeated for hours. It also relates to a trip i had had before, where i had to much, and decided i was god.

Well night comes again. the completeion of one full day of tripping. My friend hasn't come back yet. We get a phone call. It is his sisters.
He thinks i am going to kill him. He had walked from the appartment cross 2 towns to a blockbuster close to his house, becasue he thought i was going to kill him. Tripping balls he made this journey. Imagin That.

He was capibly of convicing his sisters, (my at the time 2.5 year best friend of mine) his cusion who lived with them, and his father; that i was going to kill him and all of them. i was sick and evil. i didn't get to talk on the phone direct for a long time. so i had to communicate threw my lady friend and his sister. They changed the locks on the doors, and they drove him an hour and a half to his mothers house becasue he was so afraid.

Ok, So i am tripping still, and i am coked out and i havn't slept for a few days prior to tripping.
"Name, Name2 thinks you are going to kill him" Not things you want to hear when tripping.

My myu closest friend who understood my more than anyone, thought that i was out to get him. That called for another line. My lady friend tryed to explain everything to me and to them. and that iwasnt going to, and she was here the whole time and knows i am not going to.

At this point i started to balling, and felt a loss of everything. i never cry. I don't even know how to try and explain my thoughts and feelings.

That was the day peak. the rest of the trip was mild visuals, audio. Simialr to a regular dose. The thoughts never cailmed down. it remained this way for the next two days. Did everythign i could to try and come down. We ened up flushing $160dollars worth of cocain. Then did everything to try and sleep.

I was unable to sleep until he surprised us by coming back and telling me he didn't beleave it. that he realized it was just the substances.

I am sorry that i am not a great speller and i lack a good vocabulary. and that trying to describe this trip in words and text is quite difficult. I am becoming better atit in speech.