full circle

The three mushrooms were held out for spunkster to view and decide wich one he would choose to consume. anticipating his cautious aproach to these type of mind expanders i tried to hide the smallest one under the other two but one flick of his finger revealed his choice and so it went, one gram for spunker, four for me. after about ten minutes we had hauled our fishing gear to the edge of the deserted lake, so far in the boonies we were that the liklihood of others was next to impossible, we then set up the small portable boat with electric trolling motor, loaded up and set on our voyage. as we began to round the first bend we realized the lake was much smaller than we thought and would yield not a single fish but it certainly would yield good trippin, as the breeze picked up my stomach was brewing slightly and i began to viddy a trip to strong to be in a rocky flimsy boat and asked S how he was feeling, slight giddiness and little more he responded and we trecked on at little more than a slow crawl. i looked out toward the forrest and captured the essence of true Canadian solitude, the trees were swaying gently and i could feel their presence, ancient and wise it was like a network of collective conciousness watching me, welcoming the strange visitors from a distance, as i scanned the area i realized how out of place we must seem here, so synthetic, hard lines and angles, casting artificial life into the water, the electric hum of the motor, my deoderant, all annoying my senses. at this point tearing off all of my clothing wich my mind was hinting at would not be a wise move in front of my extraordinarily heterosexual freind so i opted instead to just remove my jacket. moving into a small bay the breeze was no more and the water was like glass, only to be etched here and there by small surface gliding beetles, meandering in a wide zig zag pattern, quite interesting to watch today but usually ignored in the heat of competitive fishing, wich was absent. the trip was getting a little stronger now and i suggested we get off onto a small flat rock shore to stretch out and soak up the quiet of it all. as i stepped onto shore i relayed to S how long it must have been since a human had stood here, he looked around and replied, maybe never. this being the first day trip for myself the light seemed a little unbearable, so i lay back on the warm rock and close my eyes, the sun beating down directly on my face felt deeply satisfying and i began to breathe and relax. slowly, patterns begin to form on my eylids and begin the visual adventure, at first it is like a brilliant sunflower turning in coutnter clockwise hour clicks with pulsating yellows, oranges, and reds, it was like the sun was radiating pure colours of the spectrum through my eyes, then the sunflower bursts into a spectral supernova and eminates shooting waves of orange flame in every direction, what was the center of the flower now spirals tightly expands and explodes creating a wave of outward cascading sheets of the most pure yellow imaginable, it was so utterly stunning i had to open my eyes, and then wham, like an entire ocean of heavenly blue had surrounded me, thoughts of hydrogen and aqua coloured pastel planets touch my soul as i gaze out through the clear atmosphere and at the universe beyond, pink, purple and white dots are flying at me from the sky, the beyond is touching the depths of my being and a wave of pleasure rolls over me, goosebumps cover my skin and tears fill my eyes. it is bizzare and impossible to explain but i had been here before, a million encounters with this place, my future and my past reside there somehow and seconds later it is just a memory. i stare at the clouds for a while and smile at S, he tells me to come and look at something and i stand, still dizzy and shaken i walk over and crouch down beside him, it is two crayfish duelling it out, claws locked in battle i watch for awhile, they are old and sluggish, their shells are spectacular, orange and spots of black they are dying, wearing their death colours, a sign that winter is approaching. i push my finger on one of them as the other retreats under a rock, i pick it up and study it, and place it back a few feet from the other and stand up, a hundered miles frome nowhere i say, and still there is conflict, i smile at S. the rest of the day was perfect, warm sun and good fishing in a neighbouring lake, laughter and good times. as the sun is setting and the warm breeze touches my face i think about the day, my life and our time, i exist here for a short time in this reality, i have witnessed total happiness and staggering beauty, and i have also witnessed brutal violence and death, but through it all i march on, the big picture takes center stage in my life and i will pursue it with passion and understanding for one day my journey here will end and another will begin, with my blue blooded friend guiding me all the way...see you on the other side. peace.