a beautiful weekend....(Long Report)

This report is long and not your average, "mom and dad were gone, Billy and I ate shrooms his face melted, we laughed, the end" type of story, so some of you may be turned away now.It was my first and only level 5 and a great trip and I wanted to add it to this great collection of reports.

First...

I am a young guy in his twenties, married with two beatiful daughters and a great wife. A couple years back I had to travel from the bay area to N. Ca (way north near Shasta) for my job. I would be put up in a nice hotel for a month while on the job site. I decided to take along a couple of eighths of golden teachers in case I got too bored. After a couple of weeks my wife drove up with the girls to visit me. I missed my family greatly and was glad to see them all and decided to make the most out of the two days we had together.

The Day......

We got up early and did breakfast and spent the entire day up at a beach near Shasta and I had a great time just buliding sand castles with my girls and taking em for ice cream and the whole family guy bit. we ended the weekend with brunch on sunday and the family had to get goin early as it was a four hour drive home and I didn't want them on the road late. We were all a little down to end the weekend but assured my girls daddy would be home in a couple weeks. The visit from my family made me feel really good. I never realized how much I needed them until I was apart from them for 2 weeks

The Preperation...

Now I've grown my own shrooms quite a few times and am pretty experienced with level 2 and 3 trips but soon after getting into this great hobby I became interested in a level 5. I decided I wanted to explore my mind deeper. I had done plenty of research on level 5. I didn't want to go into it without the proper precautions. I knew it could be a scary experience if you went into it wrong. I read plenty of trip reports and articles on ego loss right heere on this site and that was very helpful. I decided this latest batch of GT's would help me get there.I knew one of the main things to have when using shrooms is a good mindset. I was certainly in a great mood after seeing my kids and decided to go for it. they were picked and dried just a couple weeks prior so I knew they would be maximum potent. I decided to ingest a quarter ounce of the GT's in my room for this trip. This was also my first experience with the one they call the golden teacher and I'd heard they are very potent. just what I wanted. I had a very light dinner to help reduce stomach discomfort. I chopped my quarter into small peices to help em go down faster and set them on the bed. I then took a shower and put on a Bob Marley, Pink Floyd compilation cd I had put together for the trip. just the mellow stuff. nothing too hard or too weird. I felt nervous but felt I had done my homework and was experienced enough to safely make this trip. I washed em down with some OJ and lay on the bed, started the cd and waited for the sacred golden ones to take me where they may.

The Trip...

I'll skip over the basic trip beginnings as I've been there so many times. I closed my eyes and the visuals were fantastic. Spheres of bright color breaking into multiple spheres and expanding and forming shapes like laughing faces and I kept seeing this bullseye pattern like a dartboard circling and growing. pretty much like any other trip at this point.

This is about the time the trip started to move into uncharted territory. Now,I still can't figure out to this day if at this point the shrooms pushed me into another level of conciousness or I physically fell asleep and my mind continued to trip on it's own.(I was, after all closing my eyes listnening to tunes) the next thing I remember, I had lost my physical form and turned into just a concious mind or being or a point floating in space.the most memorable thing about this trip was the peace I felt. It was a peace I had never experienced before ever. I felt so peaceful that for a minute I actually asked myself, am I dead? did I somehow die here. I knew I couldnt've. I knew I had took a quarter of shrooms. I can't OD from that. I figure since I was physically asleep, my heart rate and breathing slowed down to a point that I felt almost dead. I felt this dead ring of silence in my head I can't really explain but this peace was unbelievable. I felt like a single point of energy in a vast open space. but I wasn't scared in the least bit. I tried to wiggle my fingers and I could feel em move. not see em but feel em twitch like you do when you sleep so I was still connected to my body. I could twitch my toes as well. I started tripping harder and was having a rush of ideas and theories like never before. among them,I saw in this place how everything in our world is connected like energy. everything we see is just clumps of energy that came together. negative forms of energy came together to form evil people like serial killers and child molestors and positive energy clumped together to become good people and beautiful things.I could see actual people breaking into millions of subatomic particles and flow through me in this place. just pure energy. no more physical state. I felt surrounded by energy forms all around me in this darkness. I could hear myself making those talking in your sleep noises like murmuring and such. I felt the energy of my grandfather who passed on 10 years ago in this space. he was talking to me. not in a conventional sense, but through his life force or energy form I could feel these things he was saying to me. it felt like he was passing something onto me kinda like "take this positive energy and wisdom I have to give you and instill it into your daughters and help them to grow and become beautiful people. I am watching them grow up.I'm here." not in actual words but that's what I felt like he had spoke to my soul he was all around me and was giving me a gift.it was so beautiful. I could feel the warmth of tears streaming down my face. (I'm laying on my back)and could hear myself whispering, I love you(in my sleep I guess)and as i felt him saying I'm here, I was whispering I know, I know, please don't leave me, over and over again. he was just this bright energy I could feel. I remember telling him to prepare a spot there for my grandmother who lives alone now. she'll be coming to you soon. take care of her and such. I could see her shape ascending into this vastness to be with him and I felt happy. when I came to I outstretched my hands in front of me and said, "where the hell did I just go?" I instantly got scared as i sat up because I was still trippin pretty hard and I thought I had tapped into a region in my mind that i shouldnt've. I started to panic as I thought my life would never be the same. I knew too much now. I seen parts of the mind I couldn't handle. I went through ego death at this point. I saw me from the outside looking in and didn't like it. I needed to treat my wife better and think of her needs more. I saw myself as too selfish. I could remember flirting with other women at work and I felt so ashamed. I wasn't the cool collected guy I knew I was. I was scared and insecure. I needed to spend more time with my kids. I actually started to cry at one point. not from sadness but just from being overcome with emotion from this revelation or awakening. I actually felt like I went through a spiritual cleansing of some sort. It's funny but even though I had read alot on ego death and tried to prepare myself for it, I hadn't even realized I experienced it until reflecting on the trip afterwards. it was the weirdest thing. as the trip started to wind down and I was able to get a grip, I fired up a small bud I had stashed and watched Malcolm in the Middle or something. the weed plus the dumb comedy of the show really helped me mellow out alot and stop thinking so much.I soon realized I would be ok and would get back to normal. I ended the night by finishing the bud and drinking a beer I had in the fridge. I soon got tired of the tv and switched it off. as I lay on the bed, listening to Floyd and enjoying the last of the visuals I fell asleep with a new outlook on myself, my family, my priorities and a few of life's mysteries. but most of all with a newfound respect for the sacred magic mushroom. specifically, the Golden Teacher.