Death and near Death

Since I learned about mushrooms a few years ago I had always wanted to try them. I had watched my friends trip acid on many occasions but I have always been an all natural person so I never joined their adventures. One night some of my suitemates got a hold of some potent caps. I decided this was as good a time as any to voyage into a new world. We sat down and started chowing down and washing them down with OJ. About 20 minutes later I stood up and it hit me. The whole room changed, the lights got brighter and somehow everything seemed just a little different. Not long after this I started staring at their Fear and Loathing Las Vegas poster. Just as others had described to me his face started melting down into the wall and then coming back up and the bats were getting closer and then flying away. I knew it had started. I began describing what I saw to the other guys in the room that were tripping and the next thing I knew we had all the chairs lined up in the room in front of this poster like it was a movie theatre.
Not long after that we decided to venture out around the college campus. The first thing we encountered is a tunnel known on campus as the "free expression" tunnel designed to keep grafiti off of the campus buildings. They let students paint whatever they want all through this tunnel. We of course the words were coming down in front of the tunnel and all the picutures inside had a life of their own. One of my friends that had tripped before on campus instructed me that there was much more to see. At the time he seemed like a superior being or a tour guide so I willingly followed his command. We walked toward a quad on campus that has 6ft balls made out of bamboo strips laying out on the field. We got inside of these "human hamster toys" and stared up at the sky. I felt as though I was in the universe with the stars as my companions. Suddenly I realized that there was much more to be done on this "mission". We left there and came to the belltower which is about 80ft tall and lit up with blue lights. We layed down next to it and it seemed to extend to the heavens. At this point I started to loose all grasp of reality. I eventually seperated from my friends who afterwords told me I was unresponsive to everything at the time.
Everywhere I turned I was in the same place. No matter how far I ran or walked somehow I would always end up on the same street in the same place. I began to panic and my trip started to go downhill fast. The matrix, thats where I was, I was in the matrix. I wanted out but I wasn't sure how to accomplish it but I thought that death was the best way. When Reeves took that pill he basically killed his fake self and found reality so that is what I thought I needed to do, kill myself. I climbed up into an old stadium on campus. When I reached the top I stepped onto the edge and has this uncontrollable desire to jump. It was about a 50ft jump butI thought that was what I should do. I started playing with berries in a tree that was right next to the stadium and almost fell. For some reason I decided that this was not the way to go and climb back down. I then found myself in a dark alley. I walked behind a building and found a ventelation fan that was covered my little strips of metal. I began to tear the peices of metal from in front of the fan. Eventually I created a hole big enough for my shoulders to fit through. I stood next to it staring into it but I couldn't decide what its purpose was. Then I figured it out, this was my way to reach the real world. The thought never crossed my mind that it would cause me any harm. I backed up and jumped into this metal fan cutting my hands and arms up. I bounced off and ran out bleeding profusely.
The next thing I knew I was touching a sign that had some sort of white sticky coating. I then tasted it and to me it tasted exactly like the icing you get with those oven cooked cinamon rolls. I then fell in the bushes next to the sign and felt as though I was somehow dieing. Suddenly I saw myself in the bushes, I was out of my own body. Time suddenly speed up incredibly and I watched my body decompose and begin to turn into the leaves of the bushes. I had lost my shoe somehow and I beleived that I was turning into a ghost because I could no longer see my foot which was covered by my jeans. After this I got up thinking I was dead and walked toward a window. As I approached the window I could distorted images of the objects inside the building but when I placed my hands and face against the glass, suddenly I saw myself. Not as I was then but as a child. It was an event in my childhood, I was playing soccer. Soon as I stepped away from the window it went away. I went to the next window and the same thing happened with a different event in my life. I felt as though I was in the movie "Scrouge" and I was being guided through my life "christmas past". I did not understand why but I thought that maybe this was some sort of purgatory.
After watching many events of my life I felt as though I had to get back to my dorm. I then found myself crawling through some thick brush... I thought I was in vietnam. One of my friends that was tripping with me that I had long since left was wearing a sweatshirt that said army, I suppose this is what made have this vision and stench of war. After crawling what seemed to be miles and was acctually only a few feet I came to a fence. I figured just the like windows if I put my hands and face against it I could somehow go through it but to no avail. I got up and continued the search for my dorm. I came to another tunnel on campus. This one is much smaller and is painted bright white with white lights inside of it. I thought this was the bright light at the end of a tunnel everyone talks about that has near death experiences. I was finally leaving is purgatory, I was going to heaven.
When I reached the other side I did not find myself next to the pearly gates instead it was just a set of stairs. I was in hell. Hell was the belief that you were going to heaven and then right when you were there it was taken from you. Everytime it was taken from you all the bad emotions you could ever have would flow into your body. I layed down and began to shake then I started to cry. I got up and continued on. I found my dorm building and started to run towards it with still no shoe on. I reached the door and it was locked. Just another temptation of heaven. I had tried to eat my keys when I was laying in the bushes thinking that they were icing and had lost them. I couldnt get in the dorm. I started walking to the next dorm and saw a black man smoking a cigarette. I sat down next to him and began talking to him about suicide. I told him that it was the only way to reach heaven and escape the matrix. I told him that I was already dead but somehow I had to die again. I don't remember what he said but I think he tried to talk me out of killing myself. I then walked back toward my dorm building and two friends that I was tripping with were standing outside. I ran towards them and we all hugged. One of them was evil, under his eyes it was black all the way down to his lips. I went inside with them. They said they tried to get me to smoke but I would just stare at them with empty eyes and not say a word other than "stop f**king with me". Then I lost it, my evil friend was too much for me to take. I began to try to bang on other suites doors but my friends stopped me. I then came into my room and shut the door. I climbed into bed and dreamed almost my entire trip over again.
My roomate told me I was screaming in my sleep and spitting all over the room. I woke up in the morning and truely beleived that it was all a dream. I got out of the bed used the bathroom and when I looked down my hand was all cut up. I was in shock, I ran to the mirror.. I was covered in dirt and blood from the night before. My legs buckled and I feel to the ground. I couldn't remember what I did the night before. I woke up one of my suitemates and he walked through it with me. When I walked through it is when I remembered everything I told you above. Before I walked through it all the only part I remembered was jumping into the fan. I found my shoe about 3/4 of a mile from my dorm at the stadium, it had all really happened. There was much more that I thought and beleived but that can't be put into words. I am glad I had the experience and glad that I lived through it.
I truely beleive along with the people that tripped with me and saw me go through the experience that my brain has blocked out much of the trip as a self defence mechanism. Each day a little more seeps back into my mind as I see things around me that make me remember aspects of the trip. I still have trouble sequencing what happened I remember instantaneous peices of time but I cant link them together. They say your death trip is the best and most intense you'll ever have and it was my first so in some ways I feel privelaged...