No matter how many times I experience the all-powerful magic of mushrooms, they never cease to blow me completely out of my mind.
No matter how many times I experience the all-powerful magic of mushrooms, they never cease to blow me completely out of my mind. Yesterday, after about a seven month break from shrooming, the time finally came to enter once more through the veil.
W, L, and I began our journey by hiking out to a secluded beach. It was a fairly clear day, but you can never be too sure what weather the Hawaiian skies might bring you. The waves were crashing beautifully on the volcanic rock, and we settled down on a pile of sand about 50 yards from the water. We mixed the magical powder into little cups of cinnamon apple sauce, (which almost completely masked the taste). I ingested seven grams, W five, and L--since it was her first time--took three.
We sat on the beach, chatting a little, waiting for it to begin. Amazingly, after only five minutes or so I began to feel the effects of what would be a four hour trip. The ocean and the sky were sort of merging together, jerking toward each other, then falling back into place. The sound of the waves became more stereo-like, then even sounded like sharp cracks of thunder. When their sound started skipping like a scratched CD, I knew the trip had begun.
I lied back and looked at the sky. The clouds were incredibly majestic! Huge, layered, and white. They began to separate from themselves, move around in little counter-clockwise circles, then go back where they were before. Tiny rainbows fluttered all over the sky. Every wisp of every cloud took on a geometric shape. Then, to my amazement, the clouds and the sea came together in haunting, mystical, musical chords, which continued throughout the trip.
I felt as though I was dying. Like I was standing in front of the veil of death, scared to go through, but knowing it was imminent. I could either go through myself, or just wait for it to overtake me. Another minute or so later, I was through.
If the clouds had amazed me before, they were blowing my mind now. They were flying through the sky at what looked like about 100 miles an hour. Then they began to swirl together like a vortex. It was getting windy, but I realized that the wind was pure energy blowing right into us. I looked at the ocean. It was glimmering and full of life. I could feel the life underneath its surface.
My heel was buried in the sand, and I could feel the sand gripping and sucking at it. I hoped it was okay. I knew I was about to leave my body, and was worried about it being taken care of. Would my heart keep pumping my blood? Would my lungs continue to breathe? I asked W and L if they would take care of my body while I was gone. W said he would do it. I was satisfied with that, and let the mushrooms take me even farther.
I began to see faces in the clouds. Not just outlines or shadows, but real, humanoid faces. They were all men with flowing hair and beards, but they each had a different face. Their lips were moving, and I knew they were talking to me, but I couldn’t hear their voices. Suddenly I realized that they were our ancestors. Still alive, looking after us. I desperately wanted to know what they were saying, and said out loud, "teach me! I want to know!" Telepathically, they told me that I would know soon enough, when the time was right. And with that, they vanished back into the clouds.
W and L were talking, their voices echoing through what sounded like a tunnel. Although I couldn’t tell what they were saying, I felt like they were different parts of my own consciousness having their own conversation. A couple of times I thought that L was an old girlfriend of mine, then another girl we’d shroomed with before, then a goddess. But in each case, I still thought she was part of my consciousness.
Suddenly I became the universe. I was every planet, every star, and all of the energy-filled space in between. I knew that there were other universes, floating through infinite space, occasionally brushing shoulders with one another. I knew that all that mattered was that these universes simply acknowledged one another, and gave each other their due respect. The idea of prejudice was completely foreign to me. Each universe, I realized, was infinite and therefore purely equal.
I was thrust back to earth, back to viewing the clouds. They were even more active, blowing and swirling, full of color and pure energy. At first there was simply too much going on with them to focus on any one thing, but then a massive pentagram appeared in the middle of the swirling vortex. Other, smaller pentagrams were around too. But out of the main one, in all of her surreal glory and majesty, stepped forth the Goddess. She was more exquisite and brilliant than anything I’d ever seen. Her skin and eyes were like white-hot fire, and hair flowed in every direction from her head, really more like waving sunbeams than hair. She didn’t speak, but sent wave after wave of pure love to me. In an almost panicked thrill I yelled "the Goddess!" to W and L (who, by the way, I still thought were parts of me.) But the exclamation caused me to lose my focus on her, and after one last smile, she was violently sucked back into the vortex.
About that time the sky opened up and dropped tiny, brightly colored droplets of energy. (Kind of like that trippy Skittles commercial.) I could feel them on my own body, but could also feel them falling on the ground around me. They were both freezing cold and scalding hot at the same time. After a few minutes of this, I somehow realized it was actually raining.
I was thrown again into a different mindset, and thought that I was the earth. I simply did not know the difference between "me" and "earth." Then, the weirdest tripping experience I’ve ever had came to me. A portal of some kind opened up in the sky, and created a tunnel to another dimension. The opening of the tunnel was right above me, and I saw what appeared to be the inside a sci-fi looking space ship. It was full of geometric patterns and red, black, gold and purple colors. It was also full of strange beings, with large eyes, two holes for a nose, and small mouths--almost like the typical "aliens." Their skin was gray, but was also coursing with color. Some of them were sitting in black chairs, and some were standing. One of them stepped towards me with a golden cauldron full of sparkling reddish-gold ooze. They spoke to me telepathically, telling me to just be calm, that everything was all right. They then poured the ooze into my soul through my legs. It was energy in its purest form--pure love. It coursed up my legs with orgasmic pleasure right into my being, but was actually coursing straight into the planet. (I was the earth, remember.) They then communicated to me that they had seeded the earth with DNA millions of years ago, and that they were watching over us. Periodically, they would return to the earth and feed it surges of love to keep the humans from killing one another into extinction. And mushrooms were the tool they used to feed us that love. They bid me a friendly farewell, and the tunnel retracted back into the clouds. (I have always had a great deal of respect for Terence McKenna, but always thought he was getting a little wacko when he’d talk about aliens ... either he really did have something there, or I am becoming just as wacko as he was!)
The peak started to weaken, and I realized once again that W and L were there. I still wasn’t sure who they were, or if they were other parts of me. W said, "do you know what just happened?" I asked him what, and he said "we just stole a sunset by the ocean." I didn’t know what he was talking about, but realized that I had no idea how many times the sun had set and risen again since we’d been there. He said, "don’t look now you guys, but whales are breaching in the water!" I looked and saw hundreds of small whales dancing and playing on the water’s surface. It was a beautiful sight, and I was filled with humility at the wonder of nature.
After that, the Hawaiian sky played its favorite trick, and sent rain down right through the sunshine. A huge, vibrant rainbow appeared. Somehow, the rain gently brought me back down from the trip, something that is usually extremely emotionally hard on me. I still felt a little high, but the trip was over and everything I looked at I saw with great clarity. I felt completely fine. No headache, no draining. I was invigorated and felt victorious. I was filled with joy and love. What an incredible experience! I looked up at the rainbow and thanked the Universe. I knew that the rainbow was a sign that what we had experienced was real and was a gift of love and goodness.
While on mushrooms, your soul is opened up to a godlike level of enlightenment. All senses combine into one and you know perfectly that all things are energy, that energy is love, and that energy is everywhere. I now know that everyone I see, every person on the street, is an infinite, glorious universe of a being. Nothing is more important than to love one another, and to respect every person for who he or she is, no matter what race, gender, sexual orientation, or religion they are. I love the pagan tradition of addressing others: THOU ART GOD, THOU ART GODDESS.