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Ego Death, Insanity

It was a Friday night in July, me and Sean decided that we were going to trip harder than we ever tripped in our time on Psilocybe cubensis .

It was a Friday night in July, me and Sean decided that we were going to trip harder than we ever tripped in our time on Psilocybe cubensis . The day started off like any other, I got up, had a wake and bake, and some coffee.

Around 5:00 P.M. I called Sean to come over, and to bring my "Growing in the Great Outdoors" video I got though High Times, starring 'Hans'. I always enjoyed it because it looked like something on P.A. 12.
At around 5:30 P.M. Sean showed up and we played Resident Evil 3: Nemesis on the PlayStation a bit before we went tripping. At 7:20 P.M. we chomped down 5 g. each and washed it down with Orange Juice.

After 20 minutes we started feeling it coming on. Something didn't seem right though, and we both knew that we would go into easy level 4, if not level 5. Sean became extremely nervous as usual because he said he wasn't ready for a level 4 even, and he's only experienced Ego Loss once and it terrorized him dubiously in that trip.

After 40 minutes of ingestion the trip came on like a rocket. Reality faded away, and I became enstilled in total peace as I listened to Nine Inch Nails. After about 10 minutes of listening to NIN, we both agreed it was dragging us into the negative and decided to put on Pink Floyd instead. At this point the visuals were intense, and I couldn't tell which object was Sean, and which was the Night Table with my shock (Smoking Hash Oil) stuff on it. After awhile I tried talking to Sean who was lying down on my couch with his eyes closed, but he ignored me. He was obviously enjoying the intense trip.

I kept finding myself trying to hold onto reality as one object would merge with another, and intense hallucinations would appear in my field of vision. Anything from a bunch of little Gnomes from the game EverQuest (Which I play every day,) to a malevolent Harpy that levitated above the Television. Eventually things became darker, and I flowed through the music which no longer cohered, but I was able to see it. Sounds were 'vivid', almost as if I was hearing what I was seeing.

Things became dark when I fell into a time trap and the flow of time ceased to exist for awhile. Eventually I lost almost total contact with reality, and I merged with space where nothing existed. The Universe, God, the Heavens.. all did not exist and I thought I was dead, my ego being destroyed completely, only my concious mind was the only thing that existed.

When I was able to reach one foot back into Reality again, I became terrorized that I was going to go insane and not return from this trip. I thought I would be in this state of mind forever, totally disconnected from reality.

I couldn't tell what was what, everything took on its own dark shape and made its own terrifying malevolent sound. I tried to evoke a moment of peace, but nothing worked, and I couldn't even tell myself that this was just a Mushroom that was doing this.

Eventually, I became relieved and overwhelmed with Hapiness as the trip started to come down, and reality slowly returned. As soon as reality touched down, I realized I was outside in a small forest near my house (which is a new development sub-burb ont he outskirts,) How I got there, I don't know. I remembered everything with divine clarity, but after reality faded I couldn't tell where I was or what I was doing IN reality. I could honestly say that I would have gone insane if this was my first time and by myself.

I went to sleep around 3:49 A.M. after coming down totally from the trip. Me and Sean talked about the trip, and we both experienced Ego Loss we discovered. It was both a Magical and Terrifying experience, but I believe what sent my trip into the dark side was the fear of tripping too hard.

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