Well, this is my first trip report, so I may as well speak of the best trip i have ever had.
I remember it was after a killer party the night before. I had drank myself sober and smoked myself stupid. I didn't have a hangover but i knew I had drank a bit too much the night before. Well, I got up, showered, shaved blah blah blah. I was throwing some clothes on when I heard some one knocking on my door. I go and answer and low and behold, its my drug dealer. I let him in and smoked a bowl with him and bullshitted. Then out of nowhere he tosses me a half ounce of mushies. I asked him how much and he said free because he picked them the weekend before, I really wish I knew where he found these little devils because they are potent bastards. We hung out a little while longer and got really stoned, like drooling stoned. So he leaves, and I am left with a half of mushies and a QP of weed. There and then I decided I was going to put in some tripped out horror movies while munching and toking my way into oblivion. So thats what i do. I throw in Lucio Fulci's
The Gates of Hell(one of the craziest shows I have ever seen, its like a nightmare with graffic, yet somewhat cheesy FX). I figure I ate over quarter. I dont mind the taste, eating shrooms is like dry swalloing pills, you learn to do it without having to chase it.
Youd think a horror movie when you are shroomed out of your
fucking mind and alone in a fairly creeky, dark and ancient house would be a terrible mixture, but I have only had one "bad trip" in my life and I was on acid. I first
noticed something different when I started to feel on the same level as the television. I mean I actually felt what it would be like to be a television, total and complete unity between myself and the television. I snapped out of my little side trip to see a fairly gruesum scene where a girl vomits her entire intestinal out of her body. When I scene the instestines spill out onto MY floor was when I knew I was going on the trip of my life. Of all the times I shroomed, and i have eaten quite a few of these magickal creatures, I never felt the "ego melt" as its called, but I
knew I was in for a trip. I was watching the same said girl mutilating her father I believe, and suddenly everything went black. I could see three dimensional shapes flaoting all over the room, and although in complete darkness I knew the T.V. was still on because of my bonding with it. Suddnely the T.V. flickers back into my vision and so does everything else in the room. I realized that I had closed my eyes and that caused the "blackout" . This made me start laughing and I had no plans to stop, I dont know how long I giggled, it seemed like hours that went by in a few minutes. I wasnt an hour into the movie before I became totally catatonic. I could see all that was around in a crystaline kind of way. Clear but with obvious shards here and there. I started to feel light, a body high would be a fairly accurate name for it, but there was something about the way my body seemed to liquifiy as i stared at my torso. It lengthened, then it shrunk into a tiny shape. The floating sensation gave way to a power feeling of sedation. There was nothing that seemed to bother my mind.
I felt no more and no less then the toilet it seemed, I had no love and no hate, only this feeling. I felt happy, but a little sadness mixed in once in awhile. While I was controlling my emotions, my body seemed to start sinking and shrinking. It was like when that guy on trainspotting O.D.d on heroin and from his perspective he was sunken. I also noticed that I was getting smaller or things were getting larger. The lazy boy I was sitting in seemed to be like a collesseum I was so high up. After this came a feeling like my bones were hollow or my skin was hollow, I cant really describe it. I had form even if it seemed to be a reflection on water like everything else I tried to focus on. Instead of focusing on something around me, I started to focus on the feeling of hollowness. It damn near overwhelmed me, it felt like i was frail as a porcelein doll all over my body, not just select parts like my fingers and hands. I started focusing on random things that were flying in and out of my head. A thought came through that was appealing, I thought about and thoguht about it seemed like hours, but the movie wasnt over yet.
I soon started to feel, not quite dizzy, like I was spinning
but spinning down. I held onto this feeling until it felt like I was a propellar of a plane. This is when I totally went into la la land. I felt something touch me, and when I opened my I eyes, I was in a weird world. Everything was
red tinted, and it was desolate. I think this world was the product of watching Phantasm one to many times. I tried to move my arms and legs and I found I couldnt, even though I could feel them. I started to feel worried, like you would feel if you were dropped on some alien landscape such as this. Blood red sands, red sky, rivers of what looked like a red wine mixed with blood. I learned quickly that in this world, my mind was the only thing that worked. I started changing landscapes, building mountain ranges then erupting a massive volcano to destroy it all and leave it as it was when I first arrived in this place. I figured out how to move myself around, I thought of which direction and I mobilized immediately. I went accross this world for what seemed like hours. I noticed there was no life here, only sand and bloody rivers. I decided I wanted to follow a river to its orgin. I angled over to a very large river.
I then noticed that the river was only part liquid, and my guess of its make-up was far from what it was. The translucent red slime was enveloping what appeared to be the body of a enourmous worm. There was no smell or sould here in this world so far, but I could vaguely scent mushrooms, marijuana, and the utter stench which this river was emiiting. I backed away from it slowly, I didn't like what this thing could be, and I don't know what it was going to be in the end. I felt almost an emotion at that point, but i think it was an adrenal rush, because I began breath heavily and the world had become brighter. I ventured to what I would call the west and this worm river thing was all one, huge organism. I had no idea what was going to come of this thing. I had a compulsion to track it down and try and figure out where it had been added into my imagination because all the heavy trips I had ever been on I learned to control the hallucinations, I definately did not make up a giant red worm that spanned an entire world. I started to feel that I was out of control with this one, that this trip could be my last because of what may come of it. I decided to try and leave the world. I conecetrated on dissipating into nothing and floating to another part of my brain's creation. I started to feel a little different, a vibrating feeling that was also warm.
It felt like there was a hive of toasty warm bees in my body. I felt like i was floating, and when I decided to percieve things again, I found myself in the same world, only this time stuck and moving in the slime surrounding the
creature. For the first time the entire trip I felt scared.
I was completely out of control now. I knew I should be drowning, but I could breath perfect in the slime. That realization made the fear melt away, I actually felt it slide out of me and into the slime. After that happened, I understood the slime as not something repulsive, but cleansing to ones self. The feeling of being in it was not unpleasant, it was quite comfortable. It seemed to be getting warmer, and the slime seemed to be thinning away. It still carried me with no apparent current. I tried to feel how it was propelling me but i felt nothing, but by the looks over the sand all around on the shore I was definately moving at a high rate of speed. I started thinking about rose petals and gummie bears for some reason, and while i imagined the sweet flavor of the gummie
bears and felt the rose petals carress my skin, I felt motion stop. I suddenly was thrown back into the alien landscape, this time staring into a huge abyss. The organism which led me to this great precipice niche in this world was just a living transportation system. The end of the worm was split into three finger like structures about the size of garbage trucks which poured from was the vile slime. I felt disgust i think, but not to a great degree.
I was happy of my discovery of the worm and this abyss that I stared at before me. I knew it was deep, maby even bottomless. I felt the urge to go bailing off the edge into this unknown thing which stretched into the world to depths the bathing red light could not even reach. I began to wonder if there was another end to the worm, but I quickly became interested in the feeling I was being watched. I sent my vision in all directions and seen nothing. I think this feeling came from all the Nietzche
I read while I was in college. He coined the phrase "He who stares into the abyss allows the abyss to stare back into him." or something to the like (not great on direct quotations, but I think you can get the gist of what he is saying). " The feeling that some entity, something that could percieve me was present in my own mind. I started to feel a little light headed at the proposal of such a thought. I was disgusted with myself for caring, then it fell away from me as quickly as it came. I looked into the abyss for a very long time, studying the patterns of a red darkness cast over it. I suddenly knew that it was the abyss staring into me. I thought for a minute about propelling myself into the strange darkness of the abyss and i edged even closer to it. I felt no vertigo, only an intense need to dive into this massive crevace in front of me. All of a sudden, I felt some kind of strange energy all around me. I looked into the red heavens and seen them
kind of flicker a bit, the landscape seemed to be either comeing or going, either going in or out of the abyss, I could not tell. At one edge of the flat horizon of this world, I seen only what I can call nothingness spread accross this world. The worm behind me or below or some where else, a could no longer keep my orientation between the abyss, sky and land. It was dissapearing, being eaten up by this blanket of nothing. I just dove myself into the abyss so I would not have to face the nothing. I was not afraid, I was sure that the abyss was a safe haven for whatever lived in this world. I had come to the conclusion that the abyss was more than an entity, it was everything beyond the minds of humans. The world seemed to be like a child, easily persuaded, easily changed, but also quick to temper. Something had angered the world where the abyss inhabited. I know not if it was me or something else. Perhaps the world, like the worm and the abyss, was just another creature working out the next step in its evolution and place in its place of inhabitance. I fell into the abyss, and was warmed again by the toasty bee feeling. The abyss was not hot or cold, to tell the truth I couldnt really feel temprature on the outside of whatever I was in, I could not see my self, only black. I looked up, and I seen a ceiling. I fell into the world of my body in a seemingly gentle manuever, back to the world of televisions and b horror flicks. I looked at the clock and it read somewhere around three a.m.. This had been a very long trip, I started eating them at about 4 in the afternoon and was totally out of the world by 5 p.m. I was seeing tracers still and a few floating globlies, the salt and pepper feedback from my television was very amusing. I stared at it and made shapes in the flickering picture and found unity to it. Man, I was still tripping like mother fucker. I dont know what kind of shrooms they were, but they were the most potent I had ever tried and the quantity was not all that much to me, I always trip like crazy when I eat a quarter of musies and I think anyone would. This trip was very, I dont want to say spiritual, but very insightful on something I have no clue about. What existed in that world could be real, or the things were ment to symbolize something. Hypothsising about this trip has ate up much time while I have been tripping on a much smaller quantity. The amzing thing about this is i can actually revisit the feelings i felt in this world simply by remembering, when I think of the toasty bees I start to feel them, although not as intense. I hope to have another trip like this one next time I feel like saying goodbye to this world and go into a different one. Thats all I have to say about this trip, I know it was long and weird, but if you can relate to it by the fact of you having a somewhat
similar expierience without the total ego melt, I have yet to pin point this feeling. I dont think this trip counts in having an "ego-melt" because I still felt some emotion, although brief and barely noticable. Well , I hope you liked this.