This only being my third experience with the magic mushroom, I will do my best here to describe what I believed to be something I was meant to see, something I was meant to discover.
This only being my third experience with the magic mushroom, I will do my best here to describe what I believed to be something I was meant to see, something I was meant to discover.It was a Saturday night and the moon was full, bright, powerful. I was among people I truly would trust with my life. Eventually, that trust would be the only thing that pulled me back out of what could have been a bad trip. I was inexperienced as far as knowing how to dose. We made magic tea and also ate of these sacred mushrooms. I was comfortable with my surroundings, comfortable with where I knew was heading. I began to feel euphoric within 15 minutes of drinking the tea and eating the shrooms. I went into this with a clear mind. I was light, happy, ready to embark on an intense spritual journey. Shortly thereafter, I found myself lying on my back on a hardwood floor with my eyes closed. I was suddenly made aware of how my physical being was changing. I felt as if I was being pulled into another dimension, but I kept getting sucked back into my body. I began to see these beautiful beings... men and women, Gods and Goddess's calling to me. I was looking into this fuzzy white vortex. They were smiling at me, touching me all over... it was almost like they had wings for arms. I could feel them trying to pull me over to the other side. I was smiling, telling them that I wanted to come, I was trying my best to get there, but the "outside" noises kept distracting me. I did not want to be alone, but I did feel that I needed my own space for a while, just to see if I could get to that other side. I then got up and began to make my way outdoors. I began to feel very nauseous, but I told myself it would pass, and it did eventually. Next thing I know, I am lying face down on the cool grass. I felt as if I was "rooted", I was one with the earth. The smell of raw earth, wood, plant was so strong it was almost nauseating. I lost that connection with the beings I saw earlier and it was replaced with this feeling of not having any control. I was frozen, I couldn't move or speak. I wanted to call out, I wanted to scream and cry. I felt as if I was going to panic and freak out. I tried to tell myself that it was the drug, everything was going to be OK. My body began to shake and quiver. I was then totally disconnected with time and space. I went into this "black out" phase, for how long I do not know. I had completely lost touch with everyone and everything. Then as I came to, one of my dear friends came to me as one of the Goddess's I had seen earlier. She layed down next to me on the grass, began to stroke my hair and said "She said you needed me, I'm here for you". I was so happy that she came to me, I started to feel OK again. She stayed with me for a bit, but then said that someone else needed her and she left. I was alone again. Now I could hear the others in the background. I could hear laughter, mumbling, people walking around on the deck that I was lying just below. I started to feel scared again. My friend once again came back and took my hand. She said to come inside and join the others. The short journey inside the house was like I was floating. My feet did not touch the ground. I could hardly see straight, so I chose to keep my eyes closed. Once inside, I saw the others smiling at me, happy that I was finally joining them. I felt safe again. My friend then sat down on the floor and I put my head in her lap as she held me. That vision then started to some back again. This time, I could feel my body being pulled into this vortex, I felt as if I was being squeezed through a funnel. When I came out to the "other side", what I felt and saw was nothing short of sheer ecstacy and pure beauty. I saw the earth as it was in the beginning. Everything was green, lush, colorful. Everthing smelled pure, sweet. I could almost taste it in my mouth. A woman... very strong, sure and capable, but gentle and caring took my hand. She led me down this path which was lined with men and women.... the same Gods and Goddess's that I had seen earlier. Hundreds of them, smiling and me, greeting me, welcoming me. They said that they had been waiting for me for a long time and wondered if I would ever come. I then heard someone call me Inanna. Suddenly, I could see myself as if looking in a mirror. I was a Goddess. I belonged here. I cried tears of joy! It was so beautiful. The woman who took my hand began to change. She was young, then before my very eyes aged into and old woman, and then young again, a kind and gentle smile on her face the whole time. She then said to me "I've been calling to you". Just as suddenly as she and others appeared, they were gone and I as I opened my eyes, my friend had taken the place of this woman I saw. She said to me "now do you see?" This night seemed like an eternity. When we all began to get grounded again, needless to say, I was in awe. I was emotional. I wept, I laughed, I pondered. As terrified as I was at certain times during my trip, I am glad that I had the experience.
For days and weeks afterward, pieces of that night would surface and I would just stop whatever I was doing and sit in awe. I learned something about myself that night. I learned something about humanity that night. The mundane seemed more mundane, but now I am able to separate myself from that world. I don't get caught up in politics, work, chores like I used to. I have a new appreciation for life, and a whole new outlook on death. I have this feeling that someday I will see "that place" again. The day I leave this life behind. What an experience, what a trip!! :-)