Primal Fear

It was my first, and to this date - worst trip of all.

Lets just say I was asking for trouble, in that I was going to have my trip in the presence of very, very bad company. (The kind of people who would sneak up behind you and scream "Spider!!!")
Complete arseholes...

Anyway, I waited patiently, psyching myself up for a good time. But despite my efforts, I could feel the slight panic creeping up on me, and threatening to get stronger and stronger until I was complete overwhelmed by fear.

The first hallucination began all of a sudden, with the appearnance of 2Dimensional patterns - "@" signs even, swirling around before my normal vision.
I knew this should have been something fun, but despite my constant reassurances, the bad trip overwhelmed me, and I shuddered...the patterns were creepy, threatening and somehow electrified.
I didnt want them to be there.

In a supressed panic, I tried to ocupy my mind with music...but the music was always terrible, reminding me of how horrible life usually is.

OK,I made it to the PC...and got a sickening shock as I was confronted by hundreds of "power on" LCD's insted of just 3.
They were all orbiting a monitor scream that bulged and flickered at me.
I suppressed a sickening "Ohh, for god sake.." and made an attempt at the TV.
TV didnt quite work out either, especially when little "@" signs took on a new level of intensity..looming, larger than life and completely overwhelming the rooms.
Walking away from the TV, I heared a loud knock on the door. The sound scared me, and I bolted it up the stairs faster than a whippet.

I jumped into bed and curled up in a little ball, fighting down the bad trip.
I managed some very subtle suggestions that seemed to help me take control at least partially...such things as, "(Giggling to myself)Come on! Your stronger than this!" and "OK, your gonna have a really mad story for your mates tomorrow."
Things like this took away most of the fear and I lay there for some time (Who knows how long?) Trying to remain stable.
This effort allowed me to notice other trip effects like warped sound and toucb...I could feel the bed sheets like never before, and my breathing had an intense repeating quality ( I could hear every breath a thousand times. )

My next nasty suprise came when I realised that I was not actually in bed, I was outside on the floor covered in blood and dieing.
Or was I?
Who's to say.

OK, I thought, its time to call for help, and I made my way to the phone ready to call an ambulance.
But wait!
Should I really do that? No!
Go be sick. that makes it all better in the end!?!
So I walked towards the toilet, and watched it spinning and twisting in sickened horror.
The toilet actually lost its balance and dipped, nudging the floor which rippled out towards me like water.

I jumped away and ran upstairs back to bed.
Then, I realised!
OK, your safe, tucked up in bed, theres nothing that can happen to you if you dont move.
Besides! Its only a drug!
OK, a very powerfull one, but at least you know its gonna be over soon!
Just wait it out!
And I did.

The rest of the trip defies explanation, for time lost all meaning and I seemed to lose myself outside of reality.
My ego was barely noticable, and I dont remember it very well, but it seems like I was within a pattern of lines and colour bars...its so hard to describe what its like when your entire universe changes this way.
My next concious memory is of seeing the room, and realising the whole thing has ended.
I felt incredible.
And that was my trip - for better or worse, it was awesome.