Voodoo

Last Saturday, an unexpected and unwarranted incident occurred. It was evening time, I had a young female friend whom I have high regards for, who joined me in a private psychedelic session. We each took approx. 3 grams of grounded syrian rue (harmala) in gelatin caps on empty stomachs. In about an hour's time, I consumed 10grams of dried Psilocybe cubensis mushrooms, while my friend took 5 grams. (we soaked the mushrooms in hot water for 15 minutes, chewed the mushrooms and drank the water/ I took 10 grams because I usually have a very high threshold of tolerance to many psychedelic substances, the previous time I took 2 grams of mushrooms, it was just mere bassline effects, almost unnoticable. We took high doses mainly because we wanted to encounter the elves or mushroom spirits popularly reported in trip accounts of dedicated psychonauts). The psychedelic effects came on in just about 20 minutes - 40 minutes after we ate the mushrooms.

In the first 90 minutes, I felt a whole range of the psychedelic effects... the somatic effects were much gentler (than compared to LSD, or 2C-B etc), the colours and patterns of closed eyes visuals were colourful but the hues, contrasts, were soft. Lots of woody rusty antique earth-tone colours with reds, blues, purple pigments similar to body tattoos. Open eye visuals had melting effects and trailers which are very finely detailed and the feeling was softer too. There was a tape of ambient music in the background for 45mins at very low volume, the mushrooms helped me to experience the music in a larger spectrum and I was able to pick up each sound very distinctively...and very soon, I was having my own audio hallucinations along with the background music until the focus was simply on the sounds in my inner ears when the tape stopped playing. They were extremely lucid and of excelent sound quality. The audio hallucinations in my inner ear came on its own accord (similar to several intense OOBE experiences I had in my sleep in the past many years ago without psychedelics). The sounds were from ambient music, radio waves, radio commentators, world congress, thoughts of the internal dialogue sort that became materialized as spoken words ringing into my ears, all sounds pan and shift its distance, contracting and expanding like state of the art sound system. My body felt like deep sea ocean fragile lightweight shell creatures, energy was quite sensous, novel and soft, several times I move about in a slight dancelike manner. All this while, when I do opened my eyes, I kept a smile on my face to comfort my friend. I didnt particularly feel joyful or happy, it was a smile out of duty rather than true hearty feelings. I cuddled my fren and kissed her several times, she returned the same affection, and at times I heard her mumbling to herself 'of course, of course, I understand now', 'too intense.....be true to the self', etc her eyes closed most of the time as she spoke.

By the 2nd hour, much of my psychedelic activity was closed eyed and had became a head game thing. I can remember the word and concept of time 'yesterday' left such an impression on my ongoing thoughts and altered it into a perspective extremely difficult to describe. I felt slight empathy, forgiveness, I felt tangy, rubber band, erotic sensuality, a sense of loneliness etc in various combinations and exclusions.

I did not remember I met any 'entities' at all. My friend did. (she claimed she saw elf like natured beings, she didnt see them, but she felt them. She saw beings with cat-like feline features esp the eyes, and she felt she became one of them. She also encountered a larger mushroomic being radiating wisdom, she felt she understood some things then).

Things started to get out of hand after the 2nd hour. I began scannin around my room with my eyes at objects and resonnating with them. And it was probably around then, I lost control and gave in to yelling out incantations etc. It was probably around this time, things got bizarre.

Becuase after the 5th hour, when I realized what had happened. I was shocked and dismayed. My room which was originally clean and neat (I always spring clean my room thoroughly before I trip) was in a total mess. The electric fan was upside down. There were glass pieces everywhere. The Voodoo charm which was framed in the glass was shattered. A bronze heavy magickal dagger somehow flew across the other end of the room, causing a big dent in my metal humidifier book cabinet. Some CDs, records and magazines which were originally kept inside the drawers were all over the floor, so were some clothes.

I had many small cuts on my body due to the broken glasses and bruises. So did she, but less. We have zero recollection of what had caused this to happen. I only remember I might have shouted. I also could not remember if I actually made love to her. Cause I felt I was having some kind of sex in my hallucination if only for a while.

My friend could not remember a thing too as to how this mess was created. Becuase of our yellings (probably for 10 - 15mins at around 2am) , we woke up third parties. And I was informed my friend was in a kind of trance when they saw her, she was quite naked and reaching orgasm and swearing 'fuck' words etc and caressing herself all over her body, her vagina etc with her eyes closed, she also bit and sucked her lip which later swollen up badly. She also pee-ed on my bed. I was said to be in the corner of the room, in foetus like position lying down on the floor, unable to get up. My eyes closed and I was mumbling. I wondered if we were possessed or entered into a heavy trance. If so, by what?

I do not think myself as the violent type. I later asked her if she remember herself getting violent and knocking things down. She said no. She mentioned she met many elfish like entities and they shouted, she felt lots of energy and also compelled to shout with them. She mentioned she was swearing 'fuck' words in a fun and gay-ish manner.

The 4th hour, I was in a very bad loop trip, like being trapped in existence and all my efforts were in vain. I thought I was near insanity...although I didnt freak out etc. I felt it was miserable. I wasnt able to snap out of this stupor until much later, when my critical thinking faculty was returned to me and I could take stock of what are the sensible actions to be taken.

I woke up my friend and by 10mins, we were almost totally out of it, by the 6th hour. Its several days now, my friend is now not feeling too well. Past few nights, I've been feeling somewhat depressed and my nap dreams have been wierd.

I do not see this as a bad trip in a classic sense of the word. It didnt shock my psychological framework. What I didnt like is that I wasnt able to facilitate for my friend to ensure greater safety, and we had to disturb 3rd parties. Which I despise, I've always been discreet and extremely private with my psychedelic sessions. I'm also a person who do not like unexpected trances esp when i didnt 'ask' for it. And much of the hours in that psychedelic trip could not be remembered.

I'm also positive the trance suppressed alot of our memories...almost 90%

BAckground of the voodoo talisman - Many years ago, when it first arrived it, within a matter of few days, I purchased a brand new frame and framed the Papier Creole in this darkwood and glass frame and it was kept quietly inside a wardrobe. Only months later, I set it up openly and with it, displayed were other ritual items - magickal phurba, candles etc.

Most of the time, it was simply left alone. Only several times, I felt I like to bath it in smoke from the incense. Usually, I refer to the Papier Creole as an object I can identify for matters on sex and love in a very light-hearted and easy-general attitude. Everything was well for years.

The Papier creole is kept aside hidden now. I may have to please my friend and comfort her by destroying/ burning it. Although it is true that we have no idea where the source of the trance could have come from.