Very bad first trip!

Hey there everyone!! The following is a detailed description of my first trip, which unfortunately turned out to be very, very bad. This was about 3 weeks ago, and I've decided to share what happened.

Having heard interesting things about Magic Mushrooms, I decided to give them a shot when my buddy, we'll call him Grant, said he had acquired some. It was actually perfect timing, as my parents were gone for 2 weeks and I had the house to my GF and myself, which was to say the least, awesome. I'm a pretty normal guy, 19 years old, 170 pounds, and consider myself to be reasonably intelligent and open-minded, but holy ****, this was possibly the worst night I've ever had!

Anyhoo, I've known Grant for awhile and so wasn't at all hesitant about buying mushrooms off of him. I was also experimenting quite heavily with Marijuana at the time, and had smoked it a LOT for 2 months straight. I am currently not smoking Marijuana, however this might have contributed to the bad trip. Grant told me I would have an awesome time and was at first going to trip with me, however he decided going to work the next day was more important. I was excited as hell to try them, and couldn't stop talking all the way home. I bought about 6 grams, mostly stems, which were white with a wonderful blueish tint. Quite beautiful little fungi actually. My GF was there at the time, however she declined to eat any mushrooms (I'm so glad she didn't). I also had a close friend nearby (we'll call him Matt) to keep an eye out in case anything went wrong. Seeing as nobody else would eat the Mushrooms with me, I decided to trip alone.

All in all I believe I ate somewhere in the vicinity of 3-4 grams (about 2/3 of what Grant had sold me), although it might have been more. I had the genius idea of eating more as I was not feeling the effects yet (bad, bad idea). They were chewy and mushroomy, not all that bad actually. I washed them down with some Coca-Cola (yummy!). I had also smoked some pot before eating the mushrooms, another bad decision I believe, but who knows what would have happened had I not been stoned already.

At first I was just high off of the pot, and remember feeling pretty normal for awhile. Slowly, without my realizing it at first, I began to get really, really giggly. So giggly in fact, it didn't matter what I looked at, I just laughed. I don't even remember what I was laughing at, just everything. My GF and my Matt had no idea what the hell was going on so they just laughed with me. I was at this point so disconnected with reality all I could say in response to questions was "bhal abasds oubabrawbawr" or something similiar. Matt put the movie "Sin City" in and sat down to watch as I tripped. This continued on for about half an hour and I was actually having a terrific time when it hit me.

I remember hearing a slight pop in my ears, and then believe it or not, I floated out of my body while sitting in front of my laptop. All noise was gone, replaced by a ringing sound which lasted for what seemed like an eternity. I believe I may have blacked out at this point, as I cannot clearly remember what happened.

I somehow came back to reality and realized that I didn't feel very good. Everything was dark, dreary, and the smell of death hung in the air. I occasionally opened my eyes and saw parts of the movie, and remembered seeing all different shades and shapes of colors, in the backround, on the characters, and in my mind. I actually managed to ask Matt if he saw the shapes too, and he just told me "no man, it's just you." My visual sense wasn't the only thing going out of wack at this point. Everytime someone in the movie talked, mostly male characters, the voice was distorted, thunderous, and seemed to echo a million times, as if it was the voice of the Devil himself. It was not a good feeling at all, and it was at this point that I fully comprehended how fucked I was.

As the intensity of the trip increased, everything around me became foreign. It was at this point in which the bad trip RAELLY started. Completely lost from reality, I had no idea who I was, where I was, why I was alive, etc. This went on for a good hour or two and I was basically curled up in the fetal position on the couch, with my GF spooning me from behind. I think she was crying at the time, probably worried about me, but I can't remember clearly. I remember not being able to recognize Matt or even my GF and I even began to cry when my GF touched me or tried to calm me down. Not be able to find comfort in your own GF (who I love to DEATH) because you are tripping so hard is a horrible, horrible feeling.

During this intense, awful trip, I remember lying down on the couch,closing my eyes and travelling to far away places, but they were not good places. They were places filled with evil and death, and I hallucinated demons, spiders, flying skulls, blood, and all sorts of nasty, terrible things. I think watching Sin City while high did not help things, as it is a very dark movie, with lots of blood and death (good movie though!) I kept thinking to myself that I was going to die, and managed to mumble to Matt that I thought I had overdosed and that I wanted to go to the hospital. He was however much calmer than I was, and reassured me I had not eaten nearly enough to even be remotely harmful, and tried to reassure me by telling me it was all in my mind and that nothing could hurt me, that I was just having a bad trip and it would be over soon. His words brought little solice, as I was still scared to death the entire time... I honestly thought "this is how I'm going to die, on this couch, next to the love of my life, ODing on Shrooms."

I literally slipped in and out of reality several times. Every time I regained myself, it did not last long. I soon slipped back into the hallucinatory state, as I was not in control of my body whatsoever. This went on for awhile, and was not fun at all. All of the bad events of my life had culminated into this one, scary, life changing trip, and I just wanted it to be over. I'm sure other people who have had bad trips can relate to what I am talking about. It seemed like forever since I had eaten the Mushrooms, and it seemed like it would last forever until I was sober again. I felt trapped inside the Mushroom high and literally thought it would never end. I felt myself float out of my body multiple times, heard my heartbeat pounding in my chest as if it were about to explode, and generally felt disconnected from my body the whole time. I'm guessing that when I die, it is going to feel exactly like what I felt that night.

After 4 hours of this maddening, mind torturing state I was in, I slowly managed to regain my sanity. I stopped hallucinating, and managed to sit up and regain my sense of being. I almost cried with joy at the fact that the worst part of the trip was over, and I had survived. Everything didn't seem as bad anymore, and it was at this point I noticed my GF was asleep beside me, with tear streaks down her beautiful cheeks. I didn't want to wake her, so I turned over to Matt who was studying me with fascination and asked him where I was, how much time had passed (can't remember what he said) and what I had done the entire time. He said I layed there for 4 hours curled up, nothing else. I had felt like I had been to a million places at once. Pretty incredible.

We had a discussion about my trip and that's when I noticed that the Mushrooms were still affecting me. Deviating away from the conversation, I noticed that the walls were literally breathing, and I could see light in 3 dimensions, which was rather fascinating at the time. I was no longer feeling the same thoughts as before, in fact, now I was in a state of wonder and basically watched the walls expand and retract, and gasped in wonder as the ceiling turned into a sea of snakes, slithering against each other in an infinite dance. It was really, really weird. It wasn't just the walls that were acting funny, it was everything. Everything seemed somewhat displaced, as if it didn't really belong to this reality. It almost seemed as if everything was bending in order to try and fit between two or more planes of reality. It's very hard to explain. I was also seeing sounds as colors, it was quite fun.

At this point, I got up to goto the bathroom, feeling rather wobbly, and stumbled to the bathroom through what seemed was a bent and twisted hallway. I got to the bathroom and went number 1, and suddenly felt a sharp pain in my legs. I looked down and to my horror saw what I thought was blood all over the toilet and the floor. Thinking that had just come out of my bladder, I panicked (panicked is hardly the word, I almost had a fucking heart attack), checked my equipment, and then got down on my knees to touch the "blood", which wasn't really there. Turns out I had been imagining everything, and that I was fine. I was definitely shooken up though. This was the last time I got up off of the couch, for fear of something similiar happening.

After sitting down again, I was just glad that my bad trip was over and tried to enjoy the lasting effects of the mushrooms for the rest of the night. I didn't sleep to say the least, and woke my GF up and brought her to bed.

I also had a very bad next day. Stomach cramps tortured me for hours after, and it was only until I expelled the contents of my stomach about 15 times that I felt better. The whole being sick afterwards thing was certainly not something I was expecting however, and actually thought about calling the hospital to tell them I think I may have ate some poisonious Mushrooms, which was not the case (obviously, seeing as Grant had eaten them without problems). After about a day and some tender love from my GF, I was feeling about 90% again.

Anyways, that was my first trip. It was good for the first half hour, bad for the next hour, absolutely mind-blowingly terrible for the next 5, and the last 2 or 3 were spent thanking god I was alive and staring at things.

I don't know why I had a bad trip. It could have been the Marijuana, the movie, or my mental state. I'm hesitant about trying them again seeing as my first trip was such a downer, although I'm fairly confident that if I did them again in the proper setting I would not have a repeat of that night. I really wanted to have a good time with mushrooms as they are a seldom found object where I live, however this was unfortunately not the case. I also wish I could remember more of my trip, as I'm sure I experienced something in that short out of body experience that I will never be able to explain.

I hope, if I ever do Mushrooms again, that I can someday have a good trip like the ones people always describe, filled with love, compassion, and just strange stuff in general. I would also advise not mixing pot and Mushrooms, and that the mood be obviously better than what I had. I believe my bad trip was due more to sensory overload, as I had never taken a psychadelic before.

I and hope you all enjoyed the story, and I hope the same thing doesn't happen to you if it hasn't already. I know I certainly don't want to experience anything like that ever
again.

-LH