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Trippin in Japan

I recently returned from a vacation to Kobe, Japan, right next to one of Japan's largest cities: Osaka.

I recently returned from a vacation to Kobe, Japan, right next to one of Japan's largest cities: Osaka. A little bit of background - Osaka is probably the largest center of technology, weirdos, and shopping in Japan, if not the world. The heart of the activity of Osaka is an area called Shinsaibashi, the hippie/video-arcade/technology/shopping/
restaurant/anything-else-you-can-think-of district. Well, I was in Shinsaibashi with some friends, and it turned out one of my friends had purchased some shrooms.

I didn't know how she got them. But we immediately went into the subway station bathroom to devour 'em. I had about an eighth.

We walked through the town for a little while, until we corssed some bridge and the shrooms hit. Of course, as when they usually hit, the bridge started breathing. And swaying. And mumbling to itself. We decided to sign our names on the bridge. I'm not quite sure what I signed, but the shrooms started to hit me harder around then.

Let me tell you, before I divulge the rest of this, that we had another friend with us who wasn't tripping. I thereby know what really happened, and what I saw. You wouldn't believe half of what really happened. hehehe... I advise everyone go to Japan one time in their life.

Well, we saw an ice cream shop, Haagen Dazs to be exact, and decided to enter. The place was in reality set up like a, well, I'm not sure how to descibe it. There was a couch which rotated and shook, there was a merry-go-round, and there was a display, about 8' tall, of an octopus in a ringmaster get-up playing the organ while ceramic eyes rolled around and jiggled. Well, needless to say, we were quite intrigued. The trip, in actuality, wasn't much weirder than reality, so after a couple of minutes we decided to move on.

We went to the bathroom. Yes, all of us went to the bathroom, together - just to check it out, you see, a guy had told us that some crazy shit was in there. It turns out, I'm not sure whether this is true or not, that the urinals dance and sing once you finish with them. And the toilets have lights all over them, and look like clams. Not sure whether that's the trip or not.

After considering the bathroom for a while, a small golden monkey walked in and beckoned me to follow it. I did so, as did my tripping friends, and we went across the way to the Sony tower. Big mistake. BIG mistake.

The Sony tower, by the way, is where Sony debuts all its newest technology. The inside is decorated very, very futuristically with circuit boards on the ceiling and stuff like that. It loks really cool. Well, there was a display in the lobby. Robot dogs. Wowza, we had fun with those dogs. These dogs were unbelievably realistic, except for the fact that they were chrome, and had visors instead of eyes. They barked, they chased a ball, they wagged, everything. I as playing with a dog, until it broke. A woman came over, and opened a panel on the side of the dog. I flipped out. Completely. I didn't know much Japanese, so I had trouble communicating, but that wasn't a problem at this point - my friends and I ran out, with me screaming like a madman. I was scared for my life. Seriously.

We wandered off to a video arcade, where a certain game caught our eye: Dance Dance Revolution. If anyone knows of this game being in the states, PLEASE e-mail me. I miss it more than anything else from Japan. It basically constists of stepping on arrows on the floor in time with arrows scrolling across a screen in beat to a song of your choice, most of which were perky Japanese techno (some of the trippiest music out there). I must have spent $75 on that game right then, I was on a roll. We spent about 2 hours there, then went for food.

The restaurant was a small traditional Japanese place. We sat on the floor, where I promptly became a samurai, no fault of my own. I had a sword, I spoke fluent Japanese, and, to my surprise, I had an army of oompa-loompas (Before I left that afternoon, I had watched Willy Wonka dubbed. I wish I'd been tripping then) who were perfectly willing to summon the waitress at my request. I had them get the waitress, and I got some udon and sake. The sake was good, but alcohol and shrooms don't mix, I learned the hard way. And I can't explain the fluent Japanese, either, so don't ask.

We left, and the trip started turning ugly. There were lotsa people, and apparently all of them were following me. I saw among the crowd man dressed as Soncic the Hedgehog, who really did exist. Of course, what else could I do? I copped a feel. I have a great photo of me with my hand on his crotch, and him haveing absolutely no clue that it was. Hilarious.

Well, we all managed our way home on the trains, just watching the walls breathe. We slept long and hard after that.

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