Too Curious?

6/20/04

This is going to be long, but hopefully you will find it worth the read. Last night was the craziest experience I have ever had. I have trouble even putting into words. First of all, I am not all that experienced with tripping. I have done shrooms two previous times and acid once. Both times on shrooms I took about 3-3.5 grams dried. I got mild visuals, a few breathing walls… you know, the usual “trippy” feelings, but manageable. So last night I decided to go for a slightly larger dose and trip alone.

6:00 pm. I munched on a chocolate bar and 4 grams of B+ strain grown by my extremely lucky and very curious monkey, George (it was his second attempt at growing). All was going well. I sat around at the computer for a bit and downloaded a few songs while I waited.

6:45. I decided to take a walk down a street that has some really neat little houses. Everything was so vibrant. The trees and flowers were amazing. I love the feeling you get while tripping. It’s as if you are more separated from your body. I felt like I was standing inside of my head looking out. The street I walked down was straight out of some kind of cartoon land. People were completely out of place. It took about 30 minutes to walk back to my apartment. As I walked, I realized that I was at about the same level as the other times I had tripped. I wanted to go for something a little more. When I got home I took out the last of my shrooms and ate them. It was 2.5 grams. That put me at somewhere between 6.5-7 grams. The scale used was not top of the line. Now that’s a lot of shrooms. I don’t know what I was thinking. My curiosity got the best of me I guess…

7:45. I decided to listen to a little music. Earlier I had downloaded a song called Marwa Blues by George Harrison. It was actually suggested on these message boards. This is where things began to get crazy. I completely lost it while listening to that song. I couldn’t stop giggling. I felt such extreme happiness I could hardly contain myself. I simply collapsed on my bed and looked at the ceiling as my play list of songs continued. The visuals I had were nothing like I had experienced before. I saw outer space and a kaleidoscope of colors across my ceiling. I could make up anything I wanted. Shooting stars passed before my eyes and there was a great light coming from behind me. It was incredible and I was floating in the midst of it all. Just as a suggestion, I would say definitely listen to Hum and Sigur Ros while tripping. It is absolute bliss. There were several times while listening to the music that I began to cry uncontrollably. The happiness I had felt was taken over by an intense loneliness that I cannot even begin to describe. It was as if loneliness became something I could see and touch and it was wrapping itself around my body. Eventually the music stopped and I found myself lost. I didn’t know what to do. I had no idea how long ago I had eaten the shrooms, what day it was, nothing. I kept waiting for something and couldn’t figure out what that something was. I got out some colored pencils and paper and began to color. It was fun to look at, but I found myself writing things like “just be normal” all over the paper. It was a little scary, because I knew I was by myself and that I would be tripping for quite some time.

9:00? At just the right moment my crazy roommate and his friend came home. I finally managed to tell them what I had done. Having tripped before, they were eager to entertain. We went on a car ride to a friend’s house to watch a movie. By this time, I felt a little more in control and was able to enjoy the things around me. I had never been to this friend’s house. Tripping in it was quite an experience. The house was painted in all kinds of wacky colors. Half of the living room was a pastel purple and the other half a lime green. The kitchen and bathroom were sponge painted in green and yellow. I had no idea what to think, but I was reassured that the colors I was seeing were the true colors of the walls. It was Toonland. They decided that Ice Age would be the best movie for me to watch. And it was. The whole thing was completely ridiculous and looked awesome.

10:30? About half way through the movie, the guys decide to smoke some weed. The pipe was passed to me and I couldn’t even work the lighter. I ended up taking a big hit and rolling around on the couch for a few minutes trying to breath. I was totally screwed up. I lost all sense of who I was and who the people were around me. I didn’t know if I was moving or if they were talking. I could have been making it all up in my head. It was insane. My roommate told me that I kept saying, “I can’t get out, I can’t get out.” I really couldn’t. I was completely helpless and knew it. They took me out of the room for a while, but things just got worse. I went into the bathroom and got stuck. I knew that I had to get out of the room and to get out I had to go in one direction. But when I got to the door, I didn’t know what to do. I had no idea what a “door” was. It had lost all meaning. I put my hand on the knob and opened it. I repeatedly opened and closed the door until someone came and brought me back out into the living room. I finally gave up trying to get out of what I was in and just curled up on the couch and stared at the TV screen.

12:00. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, the effects began to wear of. I think the most amazing thing about tripping is that you can remember every little detail when it is over. I love to think back about what happened. Sooo I went home and ate the most incredible piece of pizza of my life, took the most amazing shower, and had a wonderful sleep. I woke up and asked myself, “What in the hell happened?” That’s when I wrote this.