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To hell and back

Yesterday, I tried shrooms for the first time.

Yesterday, I tried shrooms for the first time. And let me tell you, it was one hell of an experience. I had got an eighth of them from a friends boyfriend, and spent about a week trying to find someone that wanted to do them with me. This proved extremely difficult, because all of my really good friends don't do mushrooms, and i wanted to do them with someone who could supply their own since i wished to eat the entire eighth myself. After about 2 weeks, i finally found someone eager to do them with me. Her name was Lexi, and though we were not that close as friends, but she seemed cool and could supply her own so I was down with that. She also had the "great idea" that we should go on a hike while we were on them; i didn't really know what i was getting into at all, because the hike was a half hour away and we would be going just us.

After stopping to get directions, and loading our backpacks with sandwiches, beer, tequila, propel, and cigarettes we were good to go. However, it was already 3 pm and our daylight was limited. We ate the shrooms in the parking lot of where the hike began, and were ready to go.

Once we began, however, we realized that the hike was extremely difficult and we were not in shape to enjoy a trip while hiking. We only got about 1/2 mile up before we started to trip. It started out amazing. All of the shapes in the woods were amazing, especially the sight of the sunlight's patterns coming through the tree. before long we stopped and wandered a little bit off the trail and everything started breathing; the pine needles that lined the trail started moving along like ants.

Lexi started to get really scared at this point, and kept saying how this is the hardest trip shes ever had, this was a bad, bad idea and she wanted her boyfriend. She spent the entire time on the phone with him, or talking to him on the phone while it was off. "I miss you baby.. yada yada yada". So, i was pretty much left alone. I kept trying to point out how cool the patterns were, but her negative energy was definitely bringing me down. We did not want to hike anymore, and with nothing left to do, we decided to go back down the mountain.

Lexi was continually telling me that she could drive, she was okay, but in the next breath she would tell me that she was tripping hardcore. The hike back down was miserable. I would get scared when people came and hide on the side of the trail; i know i looked so fucked up. And i was freaking out thinking i was on the wrong trail and would never get back to the car before dark; my backpack felt heavy so i threw all of the food out onto the trail. Finally we found the car, and went to sit in it. i was tripping pretty good by now, but i had nowhere to go and i was with someone who just wanted her boyfriend so i felt pretty alone. Lexi kept telling me how she could drive, and i wanted to go home so bad that i decided to try.

I turned the car on, and this is when everything went extremely bad. I could not see the mph dial working, everything seemed gray and the pointer was pointing past zero, hinting that i was going to die. I went in reverse and started driving out of the parking area, and let me tell you it was intense. All of a sudden i was driving up the trail, really confused, with the dial passed zero thinking i would die.. I saw the sign that said i was 1/2 mile up and freaked... suddenly though i was at the main road. I took a right and because i couldn't see the speed i pulled over to the side of the road. Both me and Lexi were freaking out by now.

every five minutes i would try to drive, but when i looked out the window all of the plants were growing and shrinking, the cars were morphing into Alain-looking things, everything was changing colors. If i looked out the other window there were woods, i thought i was being sucked into them and could never come out. I seriously thought I would die. I just laid their and cried and cried, thinking about how i never should have done drugs and now I'm gonna pay for it, why am i such a bad kid, why did i think it was good to do shrooms with someone i barely knew at somewhere i didn't know.

I finally called a friend to pick me up, but It took him 2 hours to get there. Because I drove, i had NO idea where i was (even though it was just on the side of the main road) and could not give anyone directions. The seasons were changing all around me, I did not know how much time had passed. Couldn't understand time at all, i called a friend that was working and couldn't understand how anyone could ever work when the world is so terrible and everyone will die. Apparently i called my friend every minute, even though it seemed like every 20 minutes.

Finally, he got there and drove me around until i could be sober and Lexi to her boyfriend at McDonald's, apparently she called him to come get her but also could not say where she was, just kept saying come get me. She peed her pants while in the car as well, we were both so scared. While we were driving, i would huddle against the window, seeing dark clouds even though it was a sunny day, and the signs kept saying WRONG WAY, RIP, and other things that made me think i was going to hell.

Finally when i came down, i drove home and couldn't be happier. I was so thankful to be alive.

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