Previous Reports - Level 3: First Time Shroomer - Level 4: A Light on Reality This was my third mushroom trip, which happened on Jan 23 2002, and I havent said much about it because it was so inexpressible.
- Level 3: First Time Shroomer
- Level 4: A Light on Reality
This was my third mushroom trip, which happened on Jan 23 2002, and I havent said much about it because it was so inexpressible. My first one was pure wonder, my second one was pure fun. The third one was like an atom bomb exploded in my head! It wasn't because I took a lot of mushrooms, but because of what I DID on the mushrooms:
I stared into a mirror and talked to myself for hours!
Does that sound crazy to you? Well, if there had been any witnesses, I'm sure they would have ran and grabbed a straight-jacket! :) In spite of the insanity that insued, I still had a great time, and took what I could from the trip. I haven't believed everything that I told myself that night, but I have learnt from it, I held on to what was right and discarded what was wrong.
I have grown and become a better person.
This trip was two days after my second trip, and a week after my first. I had purchased a bag of shrooms and ate what was left over from the first two trips. I was alone, although my cousin was upstairs and probably heard some of what was going on. Nevertheless, my cousin was rarely a factor in the trip, since I really didn't give a shit if she saw me trip out or not. She already knew I was fucked in the head! :)
It was night, and I lived in the basement of a big expensive house. The downstairs bathroom is top-notch there, and has a large mirror. After eating the shrooms, I decided to simply sit and write down whatever thoughts came to me. I wore my boxers and housecoat, and had no intention of going anywhere. But as soon as the shrooms kicked in, I got nervous and ran to the toilet to pee, carrying my notebook. But as soon as I saw that mirror, I saw myself and said "Hey Dave!" I usually don't say anything, so I was surprised, but it felt natural! :)
Immediately I burst out laughing and went into a comedy sketch! :) That person in the mirror was NOT me. I was talking to him! I tried telling Mushroom Me a joke, but I realized the absurdity of the situation and couldn't stop laughing!
The hallucinations were going on strong, but most of them were in the mirror. Reality still looked like reality. But my face in that mirror was like an infinite vortex of complexity. It kept changing in ways I couldn't comprehend. I wondered if there was a mathematical formula that lied behind the visual distortion?
I didn't care. The hallucinations are fun, and impressive, and all that, but the
real deal is in the mind. I stopped looking at my face and moved my eyes upward to my forehead. I thought, "I am going to look at my brain". So I did, and I moved closer and closer to the mirror, until my eyes both moved inwards and upwards to keep in line with my brain in the mirror. Right after that,
##### BOOM!!! ######
I had a mental explosion!!! A flight of ideas, a rush of thought so intense and so furious, forming a chain of reasoning so long and complex, that I simply couldn't remember it all except the conclusion:
"YOU ARE YOUR BRAIN"
So I burst out laughing and fell on the floor!
"Thats IT? Thats stupid!" It was so obvious that it was shocking. The notion of the soul, that we are a ghost or a spiritual being, or some other bullshit, was all thrown out the window right there and then. "There is no other possible definition of me. I am my brain. My brain is real." Other brains are real too, and therefore there are real people who exist.
It was the first time in my life that I could prove there was a reality beyond the mind. That other people were real.
I got up off the floor and managed to scribble:
"I HAVE PROVED REALITY EXISTS!!!
the answer is: in my head"
And part of that reality is the mushroom. You eat a mushroom, and there is no questioning that something ELSE is happening, something other than ordinary sober reality! I can't prove that God exists, or the soul exists, but I can prove that the mushroom exists! That truth is endlessly more interesting and useful than any religion.
As my trip went on I did nothing but stare at my own forehead, blabbing away, and after a while I forgot my eyes were even there and it was as though I was just my brain staring at its mushroomed reflection through reality. All the while, talking to myself, killing myself with laughter, shouting out in wonder and amazement at all the new things I was learning... I wrote many musings, until the mushrooms wore off and I left the bathroom to play Continuum.
I was reading that notebook today. I wrote some advice to myself that night:
Stand up straight.
Look at the mirror.
Be relaxed and in control.
Dodge obstacles. Shrug em off.
Do the right thing.
Get high while high.
Move your life to a higher plateau.
If I had read that advice at any time before mushrooms, I would have laughed it off as hippie nonsense. Yet I have lived by this advice since, and my life has become wonderful. My mind is has accepted a truce with itself. :) I feel relaxed, at peace, and happy to be alive, and excited to see where life will go next. My friends and family are all closer than ever.