"I Went to Hell and Back, and All I Got Was This Crumby Trip Report.
"I Went to Hell and Back, and All I Got Was This Crumby Trip Report.."
Location: Somewhere in Western Canada
Date: Mid April 1999
Time: 11:00 AM-8:00 PM
Dose: Approx. 7.5-8 grams
Type: Unknown (believed to be Psilocybe cubensis )
Experience: 1 previous 2 gram trip
I wake up, it's a beautiful spring day, not a cloud in the sky, a slight breeze, maybe 10 or 15 degrees
celsius. I had picked up one ounce of what I believe to be Psilocybe cubensis the night before, although I'll never
know exactly what type they were. Two friends call me up, A, and D, they helped me hook up the mushies, and now
they want to dose. After a quick shower and a glass of juice, I make my way over to A's house just before 11:30.
His brother, B, is home too, but he'll be going to work soon. B asks me several times for a small dose, A convinces
me that it'll be okay, so I hand B a couple of stems and a few caps...he eats them right away. We phone up D, he tells
us to come over because we'll be tripping out at his place. A shuts off the music, grabs his shit, and the three of us
are off. Half way to D's place, B leaves....me and A just laugh, thinking about B tripping at work. Just before arriving
at D's house, T meets us, and pick up a bottle of Barq's at the convenience store.
(So you have, Myself, A, D, and T)
Now we're at D's, splitting up the mushies. At the time, we weren't sure of the dosage, and we had no way of measuring
it, nor did we give a fuck.... I'd say we each had close to 7.5 grams; we nearly finished off the entire ounce.
During the first twenty minutes...things didn't feel all that different...we all had mild stomach upset, cramps, and
the sweats, among other things. The four of us just laid around for about half an hour listening to Eazy-E, playing with
D's dog, waiting for the shit to kick in. In that time, I decided I didnt have enough, so I chomped down another big ass stem.
D tells us that his mom could be coming home soon and that we have to jet... this really sucks, but what can you do? So we start
to go outside, and then things started to change a little.... we were very happy, and very stoned...it took like ten minutes to
get outside, because me and A got sidetracked in the kitchen and tried to steal every single can of food and piece of silverware
D owned, just to piss him off....we put that shit down and went outside... Now things change just a little bit more.... T is
standing in the grass, staring down at it in amazement. "Come look at this trippy grass", he says.
I stand next to him...It really isn't that trippy, but it's TOO green...a nice green.. I have a hard time getting off the grass
onto the pavement, because It just doesn't feel quite right stepping over the invisible barrier between the walk and the grass.
I force myself off the grass and we walk through the alleys, towards A's house.
Now shit gets wierd. By this time about 35 minutes
has passed by, and my world is beginning to look a lot like the world of the Hobbit's...or maybe the Legend of Zelda. Very medieval, and
fairy-tale looking...I kept expecting an elf to stroll by and chase me with a spiked club or something. I feel great...body buzzed.
We see a pig van drive by...we get unneccessarily nervous, and take off running. We run through an alleyway that comes to an end,
so we run through backyard's and jump fences instead, getting the wierdest looks from people...(i wonder why...)
One old guy is cleaning something, or mowing his lawn or some shit, he stops when we run straight through his bushes, says something....
I turn around for a second, we all start laughing our asses off, and then he laughs too; he probably knows we're fucked up.
Now at A's house..his mom is home, too...we're stuck for a place to go...we get a little worried at first, but I'm concentrating more on
trying to figure out why everything has turned a light shade of red...including the library across the street, which is normally blue.
The Library!! That's it! .....we decide to go trip out at the library.
Upon entering the library, me and T see that it is full of small children running around talking and yelling and shit...they're everywhere...
I can't breathe, and I forgot how I got in here...they're everywhere and scaring the shit out of us! I can barely move in the mass of tiny bodies all
around me! Their chitter-chatter and high pitched voices eventually turn into one single screeching sound that I have to get away from!
The exit is blocked by more kids, so me and T head for the back corner of the library, where they keep all the literature related to drugs and drug use.
It's quiet here...peaceful, but I can still hear children laughing somewhere in the distance. T hands me a book all about psychedelic drugs, I think, so
I crouch down in the corner and open it up. The words are all jumbled, they don't really connect at all to make a sentence. Instead I look at the pictures.
There are some fractal images, and kaleidoscope images, and pictures of mushrooms, but they irritate me. I have no concentration.
T tries to show me some trippy shit, but I simply nod and smile. There is a window behind me looking out into the outside world. Oh, if only I was back
out THERE! I suddenly realize that the sound of children laughing has transformed into a low, grumbling, groaning sound that is close to me.
I turn around and look at the carpet. The sound is coming from a body that is trying to force it's way into the library. He/She/It
seems to be stuck underneath the carpet.. It's face and hands are pushing and pulling at the carpet, and there are other hands, at least a dozen pairs of hands,
moving all around the face. I look up again...T is talking with D and A, they say it's time to go..I think they're right. I am so glad to see them. I tell A this, and ask
him how the fuck he found me. He says "You're on mushrooms...this place is scary...so I looked in every corner for a scared dude, and here you are.."
It makes sense to me. D and A show me and T the way out, back through all the kids, who aren't nearly as frightening this time around.
Finally we're back outside, chilling in a nearby park. I'm explaining my "real spells" as I call them... they were short, bursts of..reality...I guess...it was like,
the whole trip would just stop, all the unreal noises, all the strange visuals... for maybe 30 seconds max...everything would be completely calm, but still not quite right...and then it would get fast-paced and crazy again.
I don't think any of them really understood what I was talking about. If I wasn't having one of my "real spells", I was trying to understand the ground... see, we were sitting between two small hills, in the middle of a field...the hills are grassy, with patches of dead grass and dirt everywhere.
This is one of my favorite places to chill...but at the time I felt like we were sitting between a giant's legs, and he was wearing green jeans with patches, and holes revealing his ugly skin.
Over the next....god, I don't know....maybe half an hour to an hour... (time had ceased to exist, or at least make sense by then) we somehow ended up in another playground not far away, completely surrounded by townhouses..but luckily with very few people around.
The visuals during this time weren't too intense at all....the dirt was constantly "breathing" and pulsating...that was non-stop, but other than that, nothing.
The four of us, however, were rolling around in the grass, laughing, getting up, running a few steps, and then falling over, laughing again. We did this for ages, and we didn't care who saw us or what they thought.
We would play with anything we could find, picking up sticks, rocks, old pieces of broken plastic and glass....We would put this shit in our mouths, chew it, spit it out...god knows what I might have
swallowed that day.. We were acting like a pack of fucking idiots, and the two or three children who were hanging around the playground were amused by us, and they stared the whole time.
And then I started to peak.
The laughter died down..the goofiness completely stopped. I was growing tired of my environment, the same environment that had me mesmerized minutes ago.
My stomach began to really ache...and all we could do was lay around in the grass and look at our surroundings. Me and A were together almost the whole trip, and stuck together through the entire peak. T and D were off sitting
in benches together, or laying around on their own...I think they disappeared several times, but I don't know for sure.
Me and A had a pointless, aggravating and confusing conversation going for a long time...It went something like:
"Where are we? I don't know. Why? huh? Where are we? I don't know. You don't? you? huh? fuck. What the fuck? What's going on? Who knows? Fuck this shit then. Where are we? what the fuck are we doing? What time is it? I don't know, like four sixty five or something...oh that's not real. What's not real? I don't know."
That wasn't so bad...and we occasionally got a quick laugh listening to ourselves talk, which helped me feel better for a moment or two. Then the conversation got scary. It was like:
"Where's T? I don't know, isn't he over there? Where? Fuck, I don't know...who cares. We have to find him. Why? I don't know. I don't know shit. Fuck shit. Where is your house? uhmmmm....my house? yeah...I...don't know...really? I think so.. oh fuck...how do we get out of here? I don't know.."
At that point we started to bad trip..me and A, that is...T and D were nowhere to be found. After laying around in the grass feeling absolutely horrible, and getting scared because we felt stuck in insanity, we decided to go to J's house...since we WERE
lying practically in her front lawn. WOW! somebody we know! Somebody that ISNT tripping! that's great! Maybe she can help us! So we stand up, fall over, stand up... look around at the cartoony world... We seem to
be stuck in a large circle, surrounded by bright, BRIGHT red and yellow town houses, it kind of looks like a smurf village or something... what unit is J in again? oh okay...we turn around and see D and T...they have the same
idea...they both go into J's house...I can't remember who all went in, actually, but I remember looking at A's face, which was very thin...his skin was melting, and then returning to normal, and he was completely purple with white lips.
I could not understand this and I could not figure out if this was real. Was my friend really sick and dying? The thought of my friend dying made me very sick to my stomach and very sad...I tried to tell him
about his appearance, but he simply grabbed his stomach and moaned. Everything is now blurry...the world is turning red, then dark red, then black, then normal again.. I enter a building and start walking down
the stairs, it's too hot and stuffy and I need to throw up. It feels as though nothing is in my stomach though...yet, I HAVE TO THROW UP!! I can't do it. I feel worse...
I go up the stairs and go back outside. A asks where i'm going and I turn around and go back inside. I tell A that this is wierd. He says he knows. We go downstairs and knock on J's door.
She opens it, standing in a towel, saying words that float around my head and strangle me. I can't breath in here...too hot and stuffy. This is fucked up. A knows. Some dog comes out into the hallway from J's house.
She has a dog? What the fuck? It stops, looks at me, then jumps up on A. D and T laugh, go into J's house, and A turns around, scared of the dog and goes upstairs. I follow.
Now outside again, I still can't breathe, and it's getting red and dark again.. I feel myself fading away, and I start to panic. I cant throw up, and I figure that's because it's too late...
i've digested the shrooms and i'm going to die, or go insane. The red and yellow houses are cheery and bouncing slightly, with big, cartoon eyes, instead of windows, to some
surreal carnival music that fills my head. A looks warped and curved standing beside me. He says we have to go find D and T. I don't know why, but I can't say a word. He starts to go down the stairs again... I stop halfway.
He looks at me, frustrated, but looking very, very ill. The place is quiet, but I can hear the electricity buzzing through every wire through every wall and in the ceiling. The stairs feel like they are ready to crumble beneath my feet whole place looks and feels very
unstable to me. It is still hot and I still can't breathe. It is hard to lift my head. My back is sore. The situation is not good.
He says "Why did you stop?"... I say "I feel sick." He says "You ARE sick."
This sends me right off the deep end...I can not take this anymore. I've had enough. Back outside, I collapse near a tree. This is it. It's over. A million thoughts race through my mind...twisted thoughts...
I see me laying in the grass, floating above my body. Everything is dark....A is mumbling about feeling bad, he is now laying beside me. He says that he's never tripped like this...that it's never been this bad. I don't move or speak.
Everything has now turned completely dark. Eerie music fills my head and thoughts are racing so fast that they mean nothing.
I can't open my eyes...it's dark, I want to open my eyes......are they already open? God I hope not.... I think they are.... Am I dying?
Everything is now silent.. peaceful....only the sound of a bird, and a nice breeze... A and I lay for what seems like an eternity, having
some kind of out of body experience. To this day I don't know what kept me from getting up and telling somebody I was tripping and needed help. Perhaps it was the loss of motor skills and the inability to think. That must have been it.
But now we're sitting up. It's okay...I can open my eyes, or at least SEE with my eyes open...and I still feel very sick. But I'm alive, I think.
A stands up, rushes into J's house, get's D and T the FUCK OUT OF THERE and says that we're leaving. Where? they ask. Myself and A are both sick of asking where and why...
We just need to leave this hell that we are stuck in, right NOW. So we walk. A doesn't know where we are, why we're there, or where we're going. We pretty much designated him the
leader, so he's directing us. We can't go to his house, we don't know why, but we know we just can't. It doesn't matter anyways, since he doesn't know where he lives and how to get back there.
We're walking, talking, slowly feeling better...T shows us his broken shoe and explains how he kicked a cement porch and hurt his foot. We laugh. It feels SO GOOD to laugh. Everything
is starting to come together now. I am still peaking, but it feels better, because I am coming out of my bad trip. I knew for sure I was peaking, because when I looked up at the city, to
try to figure out where we were, I took a snap shot of downtown, snatched it out of the air, looked at it, blinked, and then watched it dissolve, turn into grass, slip through my fingers,
and flutter to the ground. What a trip!
A lot of shit happened after we finally got out of hell.... We walked to a parking lot, and admired the intense, pleasurable visuals that had finally taken effect. From the breathing pavement, to the pixellated air, to the pink and blue eagle in the ground,
to the transparent pink and orange earthworm slithering in and out through layered cloud formations, it was all an incredibly beautiful, mind blowing experience.
After the visuals started to die down, about 6 o'clock or so, we took yet another walk, this time to the mall, where we paid five bucks for video games and pool, that we never played...(too confusing)
Then outside to talk to a guy we know, who showed us some bullets he bought from wal-mart or some shit... played with a stop sign... and finally went back to A's place, getting close to 8 o'clock where
we sat on his patio, enjoyed a couple of smokes, had some pizza, and reflected back on the whole trip. The best part was, in fact, telling each other about our trips, and the overall feeling
of relief that it was over, and we survived.
It was particularly funny hearing about B and HIS trip, at work :)
In the end, I learned one thing. Respect...for the mushroom, and for the fragile condition of the human body.