It all began in the spring... My friend had just picked up a large quantity of shrooms and given them to my roommate and I. It was late friday night and we were psyched and ready. I had tripped twice before, the first time I had 4 short stems and a couple nice caps and it had a very mellow effect. The second time I had bought a small amount of very potent, visual shrooms; the single stem and couple caps were enough. This time I had alot of mushrooms that looked exactly like the ones I did the first time. So my roommate and I preceded to consume the amount of mushrooms I had my first trip. Around 11:30 pm, just 5 minutes after ingestion we decided to walk to the local grocery store, a little under a mile away.
We set out auspiciously enough, both of us ready for the trip, neither quite ready for the ride to come. 5 minutes into the walk my stomach began tahe usual pre-flight check and I eagerly anticipated the visual experience. Nothing, not a single visual inhancement, no colors nothing, but the nervousness in my stomach was now in my head. A couple minutes later(we had decided to stroll) my vision tightened up and I waited. Still nothing, the nervous feeling was begining to swell, and a small part of me said, "oh shit" I didn't notice for a little while longer, but I no longer had focus. I could see everything in my field of vision with clarity and as if I was focused on it. This was new to me. I had fun looking out of the side of my eyes as I stared straight ahead and followed the path. A late night driver drove by and the sound echoed around my skull for a bit, I was suddenly very aware of the fact that this trip was not slowing down, and peak was a very long time off. Oh shit was heard once more, only this time a little bit louder. At the crosswalk across the street from the store, I came to grips with how fucked up I really was and how I shouldn't be anywhere near a populated area. I had the absurd idea that I was going to fall apart in the store and just start talking to shit, I told myself to keep it together and entered the store.
It was like a blanket had been thrown over the world. One second, cars 1000 feet away were inside my ears, the wind was blowing at 200 mph and the next second I was surrounded by the hum of flourescent lights. Those things drive you nuts. None of the isles would stay still, all of them were moving around in circles and the shit on the floor was moving around. Somewhere a buffing machine was trying to make me go mad. Looking down the isles I was overcome with the sudden sensation that I was standing on the side of a wall and I could fall at any second down the isles. Needless to say I focused on some spot on the ground and tailed my roommate through the store. The entire time I was telling myself, "keep it together." the feelings kept increasing, I couldn't believe how intense everything was getting, I was ready for it to peak and it showed no signs of stopping. Making it out of the store, we began our walk home. As I was walking I noticed equations floating around, some of the numbers printed on the sidewalk decided to imprint themself on everything I saw... the numbers 48906 were in gravel, pavement, grass, stars, everything...then my vision flipped, and I was seeing through the curve of my eyeball. Everything became spherical, and i could see my eye sockets at the edge of my vision. I now know what tunnel vision is. Those damned numbers followed me home, and all I could think about was getting home damned quick so I could fall apart. What felt like a good pace to us wasn't and soon the sun was rising behind us, we realized we weren't speeding along and decided to step on it, to no avail. As the sun peaked the horizon, we stepped through the door and in the safety of my own home, I released my will. It all came off. My ego, my esteem, everything, there was nothing. It didn't come off all at once, but in layers. Deeper and deeper I was shown mystery after mystery of my own psyche. As each layer was lifted away I felt a growing sense of familiarity, I remembered this time, a time when things were new, yet familiar, when things had a name, but no meaning...and I fell deeper and deeper. I couldn't be around anyone so I locked myself in the bathroom, crawled into the tub and turned the water on. The water helped block out the confusion, and I started to feel the frame by frame nature of thought. Everything became more and more simple, yet complex until, in my head I was one of many, floating with numbers and ideas, I remembered then my birth, not the physical birth which is merely an event, but the birth of the consciousness, the creation of and existence of something so simple it cannot be described. Slowly, preciously, all those layers began descending again, and I welcomed them... they made me who I became, and they were familiar and comfortable, like old clothes. When I regained enough, I joined my roommate in watching a lava lamp, smiled and went to bed. Life is so precious, each of us is so precious, and we don't really know how precious, until it's all taken away. Not to be too sappy, that was one fucking wild ride.