I am stoned and have been reading the trip reports and listening to Pink Floyd. I am inspired to share my experience.
Starting place: Austin
End Point: Lake around Dallas
We all decide to head up to my friends lake house around Dallas. We get all our connections going and get a ounce of some of the finest hydro shrooms. We split them into 3g,2g,and 1g bags and let everyone pick their choice. There were eventually about 12 people tripping, so we have enough. Well I grabbed myself a 3g bag and said what the hell, and grabbed another 1.5 g that I had stashed away from my last trip.
Well, I took the 1.5g about 1/4 out of Austin. I was sitting in the passenger seat of my friends Four Runner and remember feeling extremly comfortable other than I had to wear sun glasses because it was too bright. My arms and limbs were in extreme relaxation. I was just staring at the Trees and green, just every thing green flying by us. We eventually get to the Lake House and I help my friend unload the two kegs that we have bought for the weekend. It was a four day weekend away from school. Anyways, I am still tripping when we get to the lake house and immediatly I take off my sandals and run around in the sand for a while. My friends are all arriving one after another, and I mean while was out side watching the water ripple in the sun light. My friends lake house is huge. It's has room for 20 people to sleeping including 4 couches. The game room has 4 tv's. A big screen 60" with a surround sound system from hell, 2 32" tv.s behind the pool table and near the bar and a 40" dedicated to a Nintendo 64 setup. The whole house is decorated in woodend ornamentation and a rustic old style of iron borders and such. Well I am still out side just looking at the sky and the shapes of clouds morphing.
A few of my friends come up and get me and ask if i'm still tripping, I replied no and that I was okay. So they let me go wakeboarding. Riding in a boat while shrooming is great, a must if you have a sober driver! I remember getting in the water and the boat pulling me at incredible speeds even though it was 19-20 mph. I felt like I was just planing on air, moving through the water like a hard edge. I finally start to come down after 2 hours.
Everyone is finally settled into their rooms and we are drinking from the keg; it was about 8pm. Finally they decided to break out all the shrooms tonight. BTW, my friends dad didn't trust him enough so his grand parents were going to spend the night in the further room on the other wing of the house. Well, girls all take 1g or split a gram. A few guys grab some 2's and 2 of my friends grab 3g bags. I break my 3g's and just munch down with lots of Nacho Doritos and Gatorade.
Well at this point, I am attempting to shroom for the second time in the same day. In my opinion this is what caused the end result, my mind was too worn out and succeptible to distress. Anyways, I have digested them and we all grab a chair and walk out to the dock which is a good 70 yds from the house. My friend brought his bubbler with him so we load up a bowl of the finest kind bud I had ever smoked. We made it 2 rounds and we had enough. The magic was already making its presence felt among us. As I looked around everyone was starry eyed and watching the water around us on the dock. The rest of my friends were sitting in the sand on the beach, we could hear them from a distance and kept talking back and forth and making all sort of exotic and strange yelps and screams. I am starting to feel a sense of enlightenment. Everyone has gotten up and moved to some other part of the yard. I was left pondering a thought to myself. I was confused as to whether I should join the group or just walk among the dead. I was looking at the forest on the rest of his land and it looked like a large amount of dead people just moving in slow motion. I talked my self down and ran inside.
I sat down on the couch and started to talk to one of my friends B. We started to converse about all sorts of things. I got really bored of him and decided to follow these two girls outside and talk with them. It turned out to be my friend little sister and my other friends girlfriend. Well, we climb the stairs to the second floor of the dock and sit on some chairs. I started to talk with the girls, we started by talking about running through a field of flowers on a breezy day. I immeditly began feeling something stir in my soul as I thought about my sister. I just dismissed this feeling for now. My sister brough happy thoughts to follow. I looked into the stars for atleast an hour, pondering some ultra-cosmical logic that I could not figure out. I keep thinking of philosophy, such as do things really exist, is that a star or is it just that I think it is a star. I started to exhaust my self. This is where I decided to remove my self from the group. I went and grabbed a chair and placed it in the sand under a bunch of trees. My friends Lakehouse has 4 speakers outside so I was listening to track 9 of Siamese Dreams from Smashing Pumpkins.
I was very relaxed as I watched the trees move in the breeze. My feet were in heaven as they moved through the sand. I felt in eternal bliss. Then my body began to warm up a little, but I still felt extremly good. A feeling this is sometimes achieved by smoking excessive bowls out of a bong. My friend turns off the the music in the middle of song 10 of Siamese Dreams. I immediatly notice this and try to cope with it. But after my body was emersed in sweat I was convinced something was wrong. I went inside and told my friend I was just sweating way too much and went and took a piss, cooled of a little inside and went back outside and this time sat on the porch of the lake house just starring at the lake water from a distance and water just hitting it at a distance. It was around 11pm, I was probably just over my peak and I started to sweat once more just more immensely.
**OK** This is where my I totally lost control of my mind and my throughs ran rampant. I could not control anything in my mind. I started to think about what was coming up in the week. FINALS^%#$! Then thoughts ran from one thing to another. I started to question whether doing this was right. I started wanting out of the trip immediatly. THe image of my mom was in my head and I could not stop thinking about what she would say if she could see me now, and my dad, he would have a heart attack if he knew I was doing this stuff. I felt the most - intense, cold and vastly empty feelings come upon me. I felt that my heart had turn to rock, and whole was there. It was an incredible fear that was accompanied by pain and misery. I wanted out soo bad right now. I started to panic very hard, I wanted to get out now. I could not think of any other logical way than to kill my self. I started imaging myself getting up, grabbing some rope and walking to the tree and hanging my self. I kept trying to imagine, sort of visualize the rope around my neck, squeezing and clinching on my air paths.
I was in a panic and my clothes had turned wet from my sweating. I had to stop, I went in side and tryed to talk to my friend who was just drunk and high, but I was confident in him as a good guide when I was tripping. I was standing there talking to my friend J. and B. was listening to what I said. I told J. " ..i'm feeling really bad.. i can't stop feeling bad J. " I was trying to explain this whole and at first did not want to tell him about the suicide thoughts but I had to tell him for my own safty from my own self. I told him that I thought about killing my self. He said that I need to calm down and stop thinking so much. I was just over worked and needed to clear my mind, advised me to smoke a bowl. Only one problem, we didn't have any more weed.
I was still panicing and went and threw up. The first time in 5 trips that I ever threw up. Well this whole time, this pain was still in my loins. I could not remove it from my soul. I tried to watch the movie Ant, but I was just tripping out too hard and wanting out of the trip too much. So I always wanted to feel the water on my body while I was tripping so I went and took a shower. I go out and felt good for 5 mins and then started to go into my "bad karma" again. I took 3 more showers and wasted another hour and a half. It was late in the evening and I decided to go to sleep, the whole time just talking my self out of freaking out and just being in a semi-relaxed shape. I finally went to sleep after an hour of thinking in bed.
To sum it all up, I had a horrible end from a great beginning. I have yet to shroom since then, it's been 3 months and in between those 3 months I had flash backs where I would fall into a trance of great depression lasting 10 second to several minutes. It really had a bad and adverse effect on me. But latly I have been feeling much better and am feeling a stronger urge to part take in this magic once again.