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The Importance of Being Prepared

I have tripped several times before and always have been left with a sense of catharsis and purging, whether the trip was strong or weak.

I have tripped several times before and always have been left with a sense of catharsis and purging, whether the trip was strong or weak.
All of my previous trips included some anxious/tense moments or periods where the trip was strong enough to be uncomfortable, but I wouldn't say I've ever had a bad trip and I chalk that up to being prepared for the emotions and mindsets I am likely to encounter. All of my other trips have ended with a period of happy, pretty visuals and a relaxed and balanced overall mindset.
I am female, 22, about 140 lbs, and I took 2 3/4 g. I'd been reading a lot of trip reports, and preparing myself for the negative emotions I might encounter. That was a good move because the trip I had that night was sad, difficult and lonely. I have had an overall very stable mindset in light of difficult and stressful events in my life recently (parents getting divorced, friend busted for posession, trying to graduate, etc.) so I figured I would still have a happy trip.
I ate the shrooms and after about an hour I started to trip, and it went downhill. Posters on my walls reminded me of people and situations in my life and it was if I was asking them for advice and they had none to offer. I felt completely alone, isolated and alienated with no one to turn to. I thought about my boyfriend, who has been very supportive and kind throughout all the shit going on in my life, and realized I'd been taking him for granted, and how much he loved me. It made me incredibly sad to think what I could lose, because he didn't have to be there for me. He could leave me at any time, but I realized he wouldn't.
Overall the trip was sad, lonely and depressing, but through it all I was left with the realizations that no one has all the answers, we're all part of the same whole, and showing people you care is of upmost importance.
Once I started to return to reality, I took a valium and thought about everything I'd taken in.
So this trip, too, resulted in purging of negative emotions after it was all over, but it was very hard to go through.
The overall lesson here is that being prepared for scary/unexpected emotions can keep the trip from being terrifying and disturbing. Mine was no fun, but I never felt panicky or out of control.
Good luck to everyone and stay safe.

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