The FEAR!!!

WEll well well! mushrooms! I would not say i am an experienced shroomer but time will change that! I've done mushrooms before but never had a bad trip, this time was different! Only about 3 weeks ago as mushroom season was kikking in i went picking in southwest england (cornwall! shrooms are ALIVE here). It was a sunday night before college and i was alone in my room (my parents were down stairs.) I wasn't in the best of moods and not really in the right state of mind to TRIP but i thought 'what the hell' and munched the shrooms away (with some bread and water...mmm) About half an hour after i had eaten the magical munch i felt that gut feeling you feel when u have eaten mushrooms. You know that stomach feeling, when you can feel the mushrooms dancing around in your stomach singing 'we are coming, we are coming' kind of thing. Anyway, I felt really buzzy and happy, airy fairy and so i started to write a letter to my boyfriend. My hand was going for gold, i was beavering away writing and all these thoughts came into my head (a million each second...OVERLOAD) All was fine until something strange (and i have no idea what) changed my whole night. The atmosphere became dark and evil, all my posters turned into demons and were all staring at me. Every music tape i put on scared the sh*t out of me and nothing was satisfactory. I turned the lights on and it was too light, i turned them off and it was too dark. music just sounded like a blur of groups of people just talking over one another, a dog barked outside and i was convincing myself that some murderer was outside and was going to come into my house and killed me. Then the trip started to happen, I was lying on my bed and for about 10 minutes i couldn't move a muscle. I looked down at my body and i could see it was separated from my head but it did not hurt. It felt like my head was separate on my pillow and my brain was overloaded with evil scary thoughts but my body was dead on my bed. It doesn't sound very scary but I have never been so petrified in my life. I was praying for the night to end, each minute felt like an hour (no jokes) and I felt so alone. I couldn't go and talk to my parents and my brother was out. I begged for my brother to come home so i could have somebody to talk to. I didn't know what was happening to me, i thought i was going insane. Then i heard a noise, my brother had returned. I went down the stairs to the kitchen and waited for my brother to come out of the toilet. Suddenly i had a burst of Tranquility and relaxation. I saw green and purple spirals in the 'oven space' in my kitchen so i climbed in. WHat a Great oven space, i have never felt so content in my life, it was absolutely out of this world! I saw green and purple demons (happy demons, kind ones) spiralling into one another. But it didn't last very long, as my brother came into the kitchen he goes 'What are you doing' (fair enough, i was sitting in the oven space touching the wall screwed out of my face! haha) I go 'man, i am so f*kked!' then all turned. My mum had woken up and came out her room to see what was going on. My brother snapped 'mum's coming, get up stairs quik!'
That just made everything go Bad again, and i ran upstairs petrified from pure fear! I tried to relax but I just couldn't, i was fearing for something so extreme but I never really worked out what. I was rewinding a tape and it felt like an hour, as it continued to rewind everything got really intense, voices in my head, patterns on the wall and everything murging and spiralling and melting into one another (which was nice, but i still had the feeling of FEAR through out the night which spoilt my visuals.) suddenly the tape stopped and everything went normal, i felt like i had come down immediately. The relief was phenominal but as i lay down to go to sleep (about 2 in the morning) it all began again. I was crying and hoping for the night to be over. Truthfully, it was harsh. The morning came and i had eventually fallen asleep about 4 in the morning (eating them at 8:30 the previous night). I woke up and my whole room was a mess. I can't remember half of what i did but all my clothes and music was everywhere on the floor. I must have gone through all my cupboards (what was i trying to look for? who knows?) The next day i went to college and was afraid to go home because i was fearful of my room, i spoke to my boyfriend and he sorted my head out. Last summer he did like 200-300 shrooms a day for like 4/5 days each week, he said it messed his head up. He told me he had gone out the same night as me and eaten those shrooms i ate but he only ate 30 because there wasn't alot in the field. He said he has never tripped out so intensely off such a small amount and his mate who does acid and shrooms heeps said they were the strongest shrooms he has ever eaten before. (Only eating 20 the same night.) It was my first proper trip and to tell the truth it was a nightmare. Last weekend I decided to try shrooms again, i spoke to a few people who said that bad experiences happen but I think you can't fear it for the rest of your life. It was an experience and i learned not to take them when I am not in the right state of mind. I went into the woods last saturday with my boyfriend and did shrooms (the first time after that EVIL night.) And to tell the truth, last saturday was one of the raddest days of my life, i was so happy, i saw faces on all the trees, patterns on the floor and strobe lighting, the leaves on the ground were jumping everywhere and the whole trip was so rad. I was with someone i trust, I was in a good mood before i munched them and I wanted to eat them to experience a good trip. I was afraid that I may experience a bad trip again but I am intruiged by drugs so I had to get over my fear one day. I find it fascinating that you can eat something from nature and warp into a completely different magical and intense universe. Unless you have tried shrooms i don't think (my personal opinion) you can say you have experienced the MAGICAL world. They are nothing like ecstacy or tripping on skunk. They are their own identity! They are out of this world. Sh*t happens but just enjoy life i say. Experience the outer limitS! GO SHROOMING!! WOOOO
cheers for that! email me if u want:
nirvana_mosher@yahoo.com