Terror to Wisdom

hello.
This is the best summation I can give of how a recent mushroom trip went. While in progress, it was quite terrifying, but the perceptual changes and wisdom
I gained from it stay with me to this day. I would
simply like to say bad trips are not all bad,
as long as you learn from them.

It was my second experience with cubensis,
having been introduced to a sixteenth
several months earlier. I hadbought five grams
from brian, planning to trip alone the next day
while my parents were away. This was foolish i
know, but I had had several POWERFUL "trips"
on salvia extract,datura(not pleasant at all,
but to each his own) and dxm, and I felt
reasonably confident that i could handle what
these mushrooms had in store. Sorry if this
is long as hell, i like to be thorough.
My parents did'nt go out of town, so
I dosed that night. I smoked several bowls
on the advice of my dealer, turned on
a few blacklights, and lay in bed, waiting
for the fun. The first effects took place as
the marijuana was wearing off, an alien high.
wow.REALLY HIGH. It sounds like a newbie comment,
but higher than i had ever previously been.

The first visusals were commenced several
minutes after. I was enoying the odd lights, and
my spiral poster(it's called electric rainbow,
if you have it, you know what i mean) which is a
fractaled, spiral rainbow, was edging out over
the wall, spinning like a galaxy. My room started
to tilt and rotate, not as a visual, more like
a balance thing in my inner ear. a knock on my door.
a loud firm voice. my dad. shit. don't awnser.
he leaves, and as i look back to the spiral poster,
a half hopping, half dancing, mantid hops out
to the center of my feild of vision.He has the
definite head of a mantis, but his torso is made
of angular green crystal, his arms and legs are
sharpened into points, made of the same green crystal.
I recalled him being a bad omen(thanks to other
trip reports) and waved away with thought. yeah, it
sounds stupid, but bear with me. After this, i trip
out on various stuff for a while before i notice
things starting to look very somber and as if
my vision was a painting and someone had thrown
turpentine on the canvas. recalling yet more
useful info from you're site, i checkthe body signs.

This was where it went bad. I had to piss, but the
last time i shroomed, i had a hard ass time walking,
and worried i would smell of smoke and my parents
know(even though they were across the house) and the
whole repetitive thought pattern came into play,
oh man, i really had to piss. i was getting
progressively more frantic as i managed to crawl out
of bed and look for something to piss in. wine bottle?
no, some might get on the floor! so what?!?! this
was getting bad. It's stereotypical and stupid, but
my whole existance was coming down to getting
this urine out of me. i had a footlocker on the
floor and just pissed all over my clothes.
oh mannn. what a fuck-up. you can't do
anything right, never. this thinking just went round
and round for what seemed like hours until a,
at first quiet, humming could be heard. this hum
rose in intensity to an overwhelming metallic
overdrive grinding, to the point where i gripped
my ears and and made the tightest fist possible.
ouch.

it stopped. where am i? i looked around and
i was tied to a cold, stainless steel table being
watched by hundreds of the mantids i described earlier.
i was informed telepathically that it was time for
my pennance,and the single mantid i waved away before
stepped forward and stabbed his needle-arms into my
stomach, withdrawling blood and fluid.
I woke up. I was in my bed, i knew i had eaten
mushrooms, and i knew this was a "bad trip". i tried
to look at the time to see how long i had left, but
bouncing,clear gas-like circles were bouncing all
over my eyes, making it impossible to read. My trip
fluctuate like this, me passing out of reality, and
"waking up" with times of almost lucid thought,
positively terrified.
of course, it eventually ended,and when
i woke up the next morning every sensation was new,
like my previous life had dissapeared. i was so happy to
be alive. I don't spend my time muddling on how
much worse my life is than everybody elses any more,
and unless you've gone through it, the perceptual
changes are just....just great. wow,if you took the
time to read this, thanks, bad trips are not all bad.
live every day.