SHE SOUNDED JUST LIKE YODA!

It's been almost 9 months now since this trip occured. I sometimes wonder how I am still a sane person after it. Nonetheless it taught me a few things. Like never consume more mushrooms than you "think" you can handle.

It was a perfect summer day, the weather was nice, and best of all.. it was the peak of shroom season in North Florida. I decided to go shrooming since it was rapidly becoming my favorite hobby. Leaving the house to go to my local shroom field I took with me a small bag. Upon reaching the field I noticed that it was lined with caps. I was immediately stunned. I soon recovered from my shock and ran back to my house to retrieve a garbage bag to fill.

Gathering and gathering I had enough shrooms for an army, so I cleverly began to boil up some ideas and shrooms. When I had enough tea, aprox. 2 quarts, I gave a call to most of my friends. "Hey man! Lets trip tonight!", I proclaimed most of my friends told me they couldn't or had to work. Not my friend Dave [He sure shows up a lot! -helium:-)] though... he was free to trip.

Dave arrived around 6pm and we picked up the tea from my house. I didn't want to trip at my house because my parents were home so we decided to trip at his place. Now it is about a 15 minute drive from my house to Dave's, so while we are driving he said that we should drink the tea and if things get too weird that we would just wait it out. So I downed my half and he downed his. My fate was sealed.. little did I know what was in store for me.

Within 3 minutes of drinking we both began to feel it. I began to feel a bit sick when Dave informed me that the road was looking a bit strange, and that the steering wheel felt funny in his hands. I shouted at him to drive faster so that we could hurry up and get to his house but he seemed unresponsive. Upon entering his driveway we both jumped out of his car and went into his house. This was quite an experience, I walked through his hallways and began to see them move and waver as did most of the paintings.

When we got into his bedroom he shut the door and I collapsed onto his bed, I knew that reality was about to leave me. I stared down at his rug which seemed to begin moving into a spiral of colors that resembled "fruit loops". I was spellbound for a while til he started laughing.. It was a sick laugh, not that of a sane individual. It began with a cackle and progressed to long horrid laughs. I began laughing too, almost uncontrollably. It was awful. Neither of us could stop, no matter what we did.

I suggested that if we watched TV maybe we could distract our laughing fits. He turned on the tube. Unfortunately the first thing that zapped onto the screen was an episode of "The Real World". At this point language began to stop making sense. I strained to understand what Dave tried to tell me.. but it only sounded like "Peanuts", when the adults talk.. (wah wah.. wah wah). So I instead turned my attention to the TV. There was some man in a cowboy hat on TV and he wasn't making any sense.. finally he shook his finger and said "I WOULD NEVER." "NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER" about 25 "EVER"'s later.. "DO ANY TYPE OF DRUG." I stared at Dave and asked if he had seen it. He nodded and we both began the laughing again, which seemed to last forever.

His bedroom door flies open. We both stop laughing instantly. His dad stares right at us through the door. I begin to panic, Dave had told me his parents wouldn't be home. Yet here was his dad interrogating us on all the laughing. Dave makes up some lame excuse since neither of us can understand what his dad is saying... His dad then approached Dave, who to my suprise hides under his bedsheets like a child! We are both 18 mind you. At this point I didn't know what to do. His dad was staring directly at me. So I walked over to the computer and tried to look inconspicuous by typing. I failed miserably by stumbling over the keyboard and dropping the mouse. His dad left...

Dave looked at me as we both tried to communicate, I thought we were in some serious shit but I didn't know. He suggested that he turn out the light and that we wait out the rest of the trip. So he hits the switch and gets in his bed. I lie on his floor staring at the ceiling when the uncontrollable shroom "yawn" hits me. I looked and saw that it had appeared to have affected Dave as well. He appeared to be some weird looking, yawning creature in the dark. Almost like the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland. Lying on the floor his room began to fade away. Suddenly it vanished completely. I was in a jungle now..not a very friendly one at that. I could see eyes everywhere staring at me in the dark abyss of the jungle. A few feet away Dave appeared to be dealing with his own little world, he still appeared to me as a creature of this jungle though.

The following is based on speculation and shattered memories of an altered reality. Most of which I had to reconstruct the next day. I was lying on that floor for what seemed like an eternity. Suddenly a portal of light opened up directly in front of me. What appeared to be a demon or an angel came forth from it and babbled something to me. Thankfully I was able to reconstruct the words, "Your mom is on the phone". The demon was Dave's mom, and she led me through the sick twisted melting hallway to his living room. His dad lay on the couch with the phone in his hand, he then gave it to me. I wasn't sure at first what it was. I put it up to my ears and I heard my mom. Instantly my pulse began to race.. panic struck.. she wasn't making sense.. she was talking in dangling participles.. SHE SOUNDED LIKE YODA! "Dave's house you spend tonight, yes?" "Tonight house dave's spend?" It all confused me... I just said "Yes" and hung up on her. I must have said it pretty loud because I remember both of his parents staring at me.

They stared at me. I stared back. I didn't know what to do. I began to walk away when Daves mom called my name. I began to sweat. Fortunately she just asked me about what I thought of the weather. I remember telling her that I thought that it was shit. I then quickly walked back to Daves room. My trip was picking up, I was about to peak and I could feel it. Upon entering Daves room I found that he was gone. This totally shocked me. I laid down on his bed and I that is where I stayed for quite a while. My head began to race with horrid thoughts. I had thoughts of waking up in the hospital surrounded by doctors and policemen. I had thoughts of dying. I don't believe in near death experiences, but what happened after this was damn close. I got up from the bed and walked towards what seemed to be a light. About halfway there a voice filled my head, it was soothing and familiar and female. I recognized it was my girlfriend. I began to feel sick.. I asked her where I was. I stood there and I remember she just replied, "You've gone too far Chris, come back now." This saddened me and I pleaded with her to tell me what was happening.

Her voice was gone, I was alone. I turned towards the bed and noticed that somone was lying there. I did a double-take, then woke up on the bed. My mind was exploding into a million colors, but worst of all I had to urinate. Then I figured out where Dave was. The bathroom was locked. I cursed to myself. I had to do something, and Dave had been in the bathroom forever. I came to the conclusion that I could either piss on his rug, or piss in his garbage can. I took the latter choice. When I picked up that trash can it wasn't a trash can. It was a beast, and it had teeth I remember. I took me a while to gather up the courage to do it, but finally I let myself go. I was rapidly beginning to come down. I remember when Dave came out of the bathroom and I told him that I pissed in his trash can he just started laughing. I spent the rest of my trip trying to figure out what in the hell had happened that whole night.

Dave told me that he had spent eternity in the bathroom and had met several entities. I tried to explain to him what had happened to me. I can never describe in words what that night was like. I was scared shitless so many times it is hard to count. I estimated the dosage to around 33 shrooms for each of us. It was a trip to hell and I survived...