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Ok, this is the first time I’ve ever submitted a trip report.
Ok, this is the first time I’ve ever submitted a trip report. First, some background on me, 30 year old male, 5’9”, 180 pounds. I have an extensive background in both the physical and biological sciences, have worked in labs, done research, taught the sciences. It’s been approximately 4 years since I last tripped and I grew recently for the first time. I ordered Mazatapecs from Sporeworks and I grew using the PF tek; 1 month later had my first flush.
At 10:30pm (T-0), I consumed what I estimate to be 10 grams (dry weight) of caps and stems from my first flush – which I thought would be enough for a Level 5 experience. I initially intended to do my dose without Syrian Rue, since I had recently tried DMT (extracted via lemon juice and boiling from mimosa hostilis) and Syrian Rue and I had found the experiences to be demanding and somewhat harsh. I thought that adding Rue to my first psilocybin experience in years might alter the experience in a direction I didn’t want to go in but I wasn’t sure if I wouldn’t use it later if the trip wasn’t as intense as I wanted it to be. At around 11:15pm, I began to feel the first effects of the psilocybin but since I was anxious and thought the experience was weaker than expected (despite my huge dose!) – to be fair, my expectations were high – I decided to ingest 5 grams of ground Syrian Rue via 00 size gelcaps.
It was a rather warm, raining night for winter so I decided to go for a walk to the local park (I live in Manhattan). Once there I felt the typical trippy feelings of noticing the vivaciousness of nature, the sky and sharp colors everywhere, but all in all it wasn’t very visual. By the time I left the park, at around 12am, I noticed the quality of the experience had changed and had become less light-hearted and more serious, it felt somewhat like my DMT experiences, so I thought that the Syrian Rue was now working and MAO inhibition was in effect – since it was about 45 minutes since I had ingested the Rue. As this happened, I noticed that a particular bank of clouds – or rather mist since they weren’t more than 100 feet from the ground – rising from the water that lay pooled on the streets seemed to almost have an intelligent quality, something in its movements seemed to indicate a pattern at work, a deliberate conscious pattern. I noticed that this mist seemed to be following me overhead: when I stopped to look up, other clouds behind this one cloud would continue to move, but the cloud that I had been noticing just hovered over me and ceased to move with the rest of the sky. It was very strange, I felt as if I were being followed by the cloud.
Anyway, I didn’t make too much out of all this. I got back home, walked my dog and after returning made a few phone calls, one of which was to my girlfriend to describe what I was feeling – trippy types of observations on life. After I hung up with her, I just sat in the darkness of my living room and I just thought about things. At around 1:15am, as I was sitting there, I seemed to realize or be cognizant of some other presence in my mind, probing and violating it. I was shocked and it seemed as if a huge epiphany had been revealed to me – I jumped up and I just knew that this ‘presence’ wasn’t something new, it was something that had always been there and that it somehow was being revealed to me – either by its own will or through the conduit of the psilocybin and MAO-I I had ingested that evening. At this point, I felt that I had to resist, that something wrong was being done to me and had been done to me for much if not all of my life. I was very frightened, but determined to resist – even though I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to resist all I knew was that resisting was imperative.
As this was happening, I somehow managed to gain insights into the presence that was probing me, I felt – rather than thought – that it was a very sophisticated – both technologically and intellectually – that it was very old, malevolent and reptilian in form, that feeling kept coming over and over – reptilian, it is reptilian. I felt that it saw me as prey and that somehow mankind was under its rule – being manipulated, controlled, infiltrated and destroyed by this reptilian race. I felt that this presence had great power over us, that our DNA was controlled by it, our cities built according to its designs and that its civilization spanned what seemed to be billions of planets and uncountable organisms. I have worked at labs with mice and I could feel that it perceived me in the same way that a human scientist sees a lab mouse and that frightened me the most. I called up my gf and told her what I was feeling and she immediately noticed that I was very passionate about what I was describing even if she couldn’t quite understand. I told her that there were ‘powerful and unseen forces at play around us all the time that we couldn’t perceived.’
As all of this was happening, I started to lose touch with reality completely, I entered some astral realm and I was being told the great secrets of existence which I couldn’t reason with and as this was happening I continually repeated ‘I understand’ out loud over and over. I began to tell my gf on the phone what I was experiencing, about how I felt the presence of great Saints like Buddha, Mohammed, Jesus, Guru Nanak Dev, Mata Amritanandamayi in this place and I nearly started crying as I felt with great tenderness how these noble souls had realized what the Universe was and somehow tried to order it and explain/share it with the rest o f us. In this place, where the only tie I had with my life was my gf on a cell phone, that was somehow the creative matrix of all life, I also realized that all these great Saints had all known about the reptilians among us that somehow their teachings were designed to empower humans to throw off the yoke of our slavery and that somehow pop-culture was a reptilian plot to distract humans from the fact of our slavery so that we could not evolve spiritually and be free.
I also felt that somehow my gf needed to be here with me, I felt in particular the presence of Mata Amritanandamayi (www.ammachi.org), perhaps the greatest living saint on our planet and someone from whom I had twice received her blessings (darshan) in person. It seemed Mataji was calling out to me and my gf and that we needed to be there together with her. I felt that Mataji had been fighting to free us humans from the reptilians and that she was calling out to us. I also felt the soul of my dog was somehow involved in this. So I was going to drive down to my gf’s apt. but I knew if I did I would die and that something wanted me to do this. I never felt the line between life and death was thinner than at this point. My gf told me that she would come to me, but it was maybe 3-4am in the morning and it wasn’t safe and I for some reason knew that ‘they’ would try to stop her. Then perhaps the strangest things started happening, I hung up the phone with my gf and we were still able to talk. She was transmitting her feelings to me and I to her. We talked a lot about Mataji and how she was telling me things about us, about our souls, our destinies that she and I would protect my gf as she took the subway to my apt. I knew that nothing could happen to her, that if something did, she should call for me (without the phone) and I would help her. We have never communicated in this manner and my gf who was a real skeptic about these things no longer doubts me – as she felt this telepathy between us for hours and even after the fact acknowledges it.
As this was happening, I was in the bathroom of my apt. and I knew that this was just the cusp of my abilities, I started talking to my dog and she began to reveal her loneliness to me (my other dog just recently passed away), she told me that she considered my other dog her husband and was very committed to him, that she felt very much alone without him, she also revealed her low self-esteem to me that she had a self image of her being deformed and ugly (she’s a pedigreed and very pretty dog) and that she was always frightened that me and my gf would one day eat her – this was her greatest fear – she was very scared about her flesh being consumed and she told me that she wanted to be treated with respect and dignity. She also told me that she knew about the reptilians and she feared them too and she wanted to join me in my fight against them. As I was thinking about them, she was transmitting me to me that we should go and eat them – which I thought was kind of cute – this little dog being so fierce and so herself about such a powerful foe. But I also knew that the reptilians weren’t the enemy either, that there was much they didn’t know about existence and that they were arrogant about their knowledge and tried to present themselves as omniscient but in actuality were far from understanding everything, that they experienced doubt and confusion too.
At this point, I got out of the bathroom and the thought came to me that I should be naked and I ripped off my clothes and sat down and completely lost touch with any semblance of reality and my mind began to wander through these interminable loops of thought concerning the nature of the universe, the reptilians, how I could never return to my daily existence after this knowledge, how human beings had to stick together, that we were a family and huge underdogs in this cosmic drama, that many of our notions about life were erroneous and deluded, that our preoccupations with our bodies was keeping us from our true wealth as humans, how I was somehow very much involved in this struggle against the reptilians, how humanity was in for very difficult times ahead and that we had to be strong.
As this was all happening, I realized that I desperately needed help from my gf that I needed her to be here with me and I could feel her call out to many times that she was scared and in trouble (she met many crazies in the subway who tried to scare her but never came close to doing anything to her) and I let her know that I was there with her. The next thing I knew was that I was on my bed and she had walked into my apt., I don’t know how long had passed or what had happened in the last 40 minutes or so. She was shocked to find me naked, rocking my body back and forth on my bed and repeating ‘reptilians’ over and over while gasping as if I had been holding my breath for a long time.
A lot of strange things happened during this experience and I’m not going to say anything other than what it felt like to me. I have never had a UFO fetish and I have never been one for UFO conspiracy theories, that stuff just has never interested me. This experience has changed all this and for my gf it has drastically altered her world-view because she felt evidence of pararnormal abilities when we were communicating without our phones.
I have never had a ET-related experience of this sort using entheogens and I don’t know what to make of this one.
I’m not afraid to ask questions and I’ve tried to be humble enough to learn from the answers and to be open-minded enough to accept that anything is possible. I’m going to keep searching for answers and I’m going to keep meditating – because this experience has taught me that this discipline is somehow all-important. I wish everyone else luck in their search for answers.