It's been some time since this experience, so naturally the details have become somewhat fuzzy.
It's been some time since this experience, so naturally the details have become somewhat fuzzy. It's also important to note that I could not adequately convey the experience to others, even when the experience was fresh in my mind. Hopefully the world will in some way benefit from this report.
Anyway, I was 16 at the time. I was bumming around the house with my brother and a friend when I got the phone call. My buddy Dan called me from the back room of my shitty job at Subway (party store). "Hey man, you want some shrooms?" came the stoneresque voice from the phone. Joy of joys! Did I want some shrooms? Of course I did. My buddy explained that it was $70 for a quarter, but the price did not shake my resolve. I had been smoking pot for a couple of years, and had taken DXM twice (with mixed results), but I was very anxious to get my hands on what I percieved to be a "real" psychedelic. Unfortunately, being only 16, and without a ride, I would have to walk the two miles to and fro'. I left post haste on a journey that was to alter the course of my life.
At this point, I'll skip the trials and tribulations and skip to the where things get interesting. When I arrived home I looked at the mushrooms. The shrooms were small, with orange-ish caps and skinny stems. I gave them a good whiff. It was an earthy, somewhat ambiguous smell, but not at all unpleasant. I hesitantly tasted one. I had been lead to believe that the mushrooms would taste like SHIT. This was not the case. Like the smell, it was subtle, earthy, not bad, but not really good. Neutral...
Then the phone rang again. "Hey man! You'll never guess what I got! I've been trying to call you all night and now I think its to late." came the emphatic voice of my life-long best friend, K. "I dunno what you got dude, but I got some shrooms! I tried to call you earlier too," I replied. By some remarkable coincidence K and I, both mushroom virgins, had managed to obtain shrooms of different variety, from different sources, on the exact same night. This may seem unremarkable to some, but you have to understand that psilocybe was impossible to find where I lived. He invited me to goto a house where he was babysitting a neighbors kids while they slept. That didn't sound very responsible and I was grounded on top of that, so I declined. I intended to spend the remainder of the night with my brother, where I felt I could be completely comfortable (Although I was only 16, I had done quite a bit of research into psychedelics, and was... lets say... pharmacologically adept relatie to my age).
Unfortunately, because time lost meaning to me during the course of the trip, I wont be able to put a time-table in the description, although I am confident that the events described are mostly in order.
I divided the quarter in half, making it two eighths. Then proveeded to transfer ~1g from the "later" pile to the "tonight" pile, making my dosage ~4-4.5g. I ate most of them plain and put a few on pizza to see how it would taste. Well... What can I say? It tasted like pizza... With shrooms on it. =P
It seems as though just as I had finished consuming my dose, my unwitting mother went into super-bust-your-balls-bitch mode and started screaming, lecturing, just plain and being generally unfriendly. "I can't do it, Chris. I can't stay here. It wont work. She'll blow my trip. I know it. I've GOT to leave NOW." Although I hadn't felt a trace of threshold effects, I had done enough drugs and read enough to know that Drugs + Mom + PMS = Not Good. I slapped on my shoes, and my brother and I dipped out the back door. And thus, we were on the way to the neighbor's house to stay with K.
I can remember on the way there, a cold, queezy feeling of anxiety. The night was deffinetly not going the way I planned. By the time my brother and I arrived at our destination, K and his then-girlfriend Rachel were hanging out on the back porch. We were warmly welcomed. My brother and I entered the porch and shat the breeze for a few minutes. All the while my anxiety was building and it was beginning to make me feel sick. K seemed to be going through the same thing. I decided it would be best to walk down to the community beach and try and chill there for a little bit and calm down. I tried to get K to come but he explained that he couldn't leave because he was babysitting. So me, Rachel, and Chris headed down to the beach where we sat and smoked a couple of cigarettes. Rachel was already tripping pretty hard by the time we got there, and promptly decided it would be fun to dance on the picnic table. In retrospect, it was pretty funny, but at this point my anxiety was blossoming into fear. The threshold effects had taken hold. I felt as though a sheet of ethereal celophane seperated me from the world around me. The stars and moon were beautiful, yet somehow detatched, and despite the fact that I to this day have an image of the beautiful moon in my head, the imagery was at the time all but inspiring. After a few minutes of rocking back and forth and repeating dogmatically "What have I done? Oh my god, what have I done?" We started walking home.
The walk home was where things started to change. I noticed that all around I was surrounded by lights. Street lights, porch lights, a television's incandecant glow. They seemed to be surrounded by halos and the world around me began to take on a pristine glow. The simple lights appeared to me as some sort of divine glitter. I was still freaking out, but I was becoming more and more absorbed in the world around me. My mind for some reason could did not make the connection between the beauty and the onset of the trip until exactly when I stepped foot on absent neighbor's yard.
We went and sat on the porch, once again, and it became apparent that the mushrooms were beginning to affect K. He too was repeating to himself "Holy shit. Oh my God. What did I do? I can't handle this." It was somewhere around here that I had a breakthrough. The porch had taken on a new life. As some say things started to "breathe." More accurately, at least in my case, size and proportion began to lose their meaning. I was sliding in and out of this state and could still, at this point, "snap out." My speech was becoming affected and I said something like "So when I'm fully up it'll be like this, only I can't control it." Kaleidescope imagery would engulf me, and at one point I even saw a glowing cartoonish figure of Jesus. This image was dynamic and the fractals that made up "Jesus" morphed into George Washington, then a dollar bill. Rachel, an experienced user, shot me a grin and laughed as a mother would at a naive child.
Fortunately, my anxiety which had been gradually building toward full on call-the-hospital panic, crashed hard. I was tripping, and I was tripping HARD. I became submerged in a world of peace and love. I felt one with all, and had a profound sense of empathy for those around me. This is the point in my life where my brother finally changed, in my mind, from my "snotty little asshole brother" to a living breathing person. And for perhaps the first time in my life, the fact that he was a living breathing person took on a real significance. I sat in awe for who-knows-how-long, with a smile on my face, drifting... Riding the wave... I felt as though I had just returned home. I had the distinct feeling that I had felt this way before, and realized how silly it was to have been freaking out previous to my breakthrough. It felt like I was comming off of the drug called "ego" and returning to my natural self.
All the while, my friend K was really wigging out. He never "broke through." The entire time I was with him he seemed suspended in a state of fear and panic. There was no calming him. He retreated into the house. Chris and I chatted and connected for a bit before he too got bored (hes sober remember) and went into the house. I begged him not to go inside, but he went anyway. I sat there for a couple of minutes, torn betwee what I percieved at the time to be abandoning my friends, and staying in the enviornment with which I felt so connected. For whatever reason, despite my strong reserves, I too went inside.
As soon as I stepped into the house I felt a change in my mood. I can't really describe it, but it was deffinetly negative. I also realized that I had to pee. This was deffinetly a very strange experience. All four walls were mirrors and I watched my morphing self emptying my bladder. I started laughing histerically. To this day, I still don't know how I managed to urinate inside the toilet. LOL
When I was finished I made my way to the living room and found K rolling back and forth crying. He was FREAKING OUT. I tried in vein to get him to relax by mimicking the hand movements of Tommy Chong and repeating "meeellllooowwww." Then proceeded to lie down on an adjacent couch. This is where I entered my own world.
I have no idea what was going on around me for this indeterminable length of time. I can only remember fragments of what was going on inside my head. I asked myself questions such as "Where does 'I' stop and the rest of the world begin?" I was all and everything, as was Chris, Kyle, and couch. I swirled through fantasy worlds and complex, yet somehow synchronized, machinery. I "forgot" who I was. I use quotes because to this day I feel that the perception of myself while bemushroomed was indeed closer to the truth than my every-day perspective, despite the fact that I cannot recreate the thought processes.
Somewhere along the way, I drifted back in and realized I was semi-paralyzed. It was really hard to move or talk. When I could move it was very exagerated, and I was developed a stutter and could not articulate thoughts. It didn't scare me, though. I knew it was the mushrooms, and I just stayed still and silent.
The next thing I remember is my brother turning out the lights and turning on a toy light sabre. Needless to say, this was amazing.
My brother and I soon decided to head home. The walk was interesting, but I had passed my peak so it was (relatively) unspectacular. When we got home Chris went to bed and I sacked out on the couch. I popped on the tube and was somewhat frightened by the green, alien characters in the Cosby show. I lay for about another hour waiting for my hyperactive mind to turn off, then crashed.
In retrospect, this was probably THE MOST beautiful experience of my entire life. It's been three years since that night, and now I yearn for that feeling again. Can't wait for my spores to arrive. :)