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Pool Balls

This is my best friend's report.

This is my best friend's report... I am merely the scribe... but here goes.

age: 18
weight: 130
amount: 1/8 oz. of huge golden caps

It was the first time shrooming over the past summer. I was attending a party when my BoyFriend informed me around 9:00 that we'd be doing shrooms... it would be 3 more hours before the mighty fungus' wrath would commence....


Everyone at the party was shitface drunk and on a rainbow of different substances. Needless to say, NONE of us were on the same page, let alone the same level. I had a predisposed dislike for the taste of normal mushrooms... the texture, the dirty taste... etc. I found myself trying to swallow the things whole rather than stomach the chewing and tasting process... after getting a chewy morsel stuck in my teeth, i resorted to compacting them into little balls/ capsule thingies that would [hopefully] go down easier. I consumed them with some orange juice.

It wasn't until a bit later when i was playing pool that i realized something was slightly amok. i looked down at my hands to realize that my right hand had become the left and my left hand the right! it was amazing... that alone filled me with the greatest most indescribable joy i have ever experienced.

we were listening to TOOL when my Boyfriend's drunken retardo buddy [i'm not just saying this... he IS mentally ill] became enraged with jealousy at the sight of me lounging with my BF... i heard a distant yell from my faraway trip in a delightful little wonderland and suddenly snapped. i realized that those nasty vibrations were directed at me and the whole cosmos went to hell.

to my utmost terror, i whitnessed his body become a catapult/ lacrosse stick like mechanism, melding and breaking from the pool table-- and in the wakes of his motion, were five monstrous little pool balls flowing; rippling at me through disjointed space. Doug, my BF, flipped the fuck out and the room broke into a tribal jungle-like whirlwind as they commenced to brawl... the entire room was a wild battle in the middle of a moving black forest. [the room was already up to its neck in flippin plants and resembled a jungle with its rock walls and fake trees... porcelain dolls... fuckin trippy as hell... hot tub... birds & animals... fucking scary.] things were breaking, people were freakin out [which just made me freak more from the wicked bad vibrations] and it seemed like a massive war.

i just wanted it to end. everything was a mess. the dumb little fuck kept trying to screw with us throughout the night and it escalated to the point where the entire populace of the party had to wrestle him down... and then his pants came off.... oh god it was frightening... he was uncircumcised and the sight of his penis just tripped me out worse. after things chilled a bit though, we were able to laugh about it and called him gonzo dick.

it didn't help though, that i had this annoying little mormon friend repeatedly telling me "go have a good trip... go have a good trip... we'll deal with gonzo dick... you go off and have a good trip..." she obviously had no comprehension WHATSOEVER of the situation... but anyways....

it occurred to me that i could see the entire skeletal structure of everyone's faces... and they had millions of piercings! they were all like fractal images of sterling symmetry... god it was weird... the outside world was another place, and these people that i was observing were... i dunno. somethin' else.

that's when the damn tweakers showed up. those assholes were totally cracked out on speed and, in their cruel demonic heads [though one was kinda hot...], found this horrible terrifying situation of mine and doug's somehow funny. they began mocking us and worsening the situation by further provoking and enraging gonzo dick and the vibrations immediately went south again. but, when asked to leave, they did.

so we sat down and listened to the godly music of tool and watched the colors go by. i stared at the holographic pictures of jesus for a few hours... he was happily winking at me and bobbing his head to the music. it was truly a religious experience. i've never felt closer to anyone in my entire life. jesus WAS my homie.

so i sat there on the couch and all i talked about were pool balls... pool balls... pooool ballllls..... yeah.

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