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Passed out


Jan. 4th or 5th ‘99 The night before I prepared by eating natural foods and meditating on what I was going to experience the next day. The next morning I ate very little and meditated again. I thought I was going to be prepared for what was coming. I went over to X’s I think around noon, maybe earlier. I then proceeded to maintain the state of mind of relaxation and readiness. I can’t remember what time I took the shrooms, but it was early afternoon. It was about 1/2 of 1/8 ounce, I’m not sure how many grams that is. After I took them I drank some orange juice. I felt a little weird off and on from about 20 min after taking them. Finally I started to feel the rocket effect about an hr. after taking them. It was so intense, especially with the music in the background (Bjork). I felt like I was melting into the wall, like someone was pouring slime over the top of my head and over my whole body. My body felt so heavy, and the music made me more relaxed and tired. So much so, that I passed out! When I woke up I was lying on the floor and X was over me asking if I was alright. I didn’t realize I had passed out. All I remember is feeling very heavy, and I thought I had fallen to a squat, and then fallen over onto the floor. Then there was a big flash of light on my eye lids right before it went black. Later, X reviled that I had fallen down from a full stand, landing on my shoulder, a perfect arc to the floor. Actually, I hit my head on the door frame on the way down, which must have accounted for the bright flash of light(into unconsciousness). I was out for about 4 min. When I woke up my shoulder hurt like hell, and I didn’t know why, until X told me the whole story. I was in a state of shock, so I didn’t feel like I was tripping that hard anymore. I finally started to feel the bump on my head, but my shoulder hurt allot more, I was having trouble breathing deeply, which scared me, but didn’t account for anything serious. To say the least, the pain in my shoulder, and trouble breathing hindered me from having a better trip. I don’t recommend trying it. X was pretty shook up about the whole thing too. I couldn’t believe it had happened. I felt like I didn’t realize what I was in for with this trip, like I wasn’t ready for it. Now that I look back on it I think I was more ready than I knew, so it hit me harder. That was the biggest thing that really happened this trip, the other things were just thoughts and images. When we were all calmed back down (sort of), we decided to go for a drive, and drop some trash off. I was cold allot, and in pain, so I didn’t really move allot once we got in the car, but it was a VERY cool drive. We went to Gino’s and dropped off the trash, and headed toward the mall. I don’t remember which way we took to the mall. The next thing I remember was talking about this kid in an orange sweatshirt. X asked me to describe why he was wearing it. I couldn’t gather my thoughts, I was having a hard time concentrating and giving answers. I think I answered with “cause it fits him as a person, he likes it”....well no shit!! Nothing brilliant there. My thoughts were wondering incredibly, but I can’t remember what about, exactly. We got on the freeway(680 So.) and we started talking about how driving cars was a huge game. The freeway and cars seemed like toys, and the cars were very bubbly looking. Like pods. I was thinking how much cars fit there owners, and how they were completely different characters when driving. Wondering why they changed so much behind the wheel. I think I mentioned this to X, but it was only part of how much I was really thinking. By this time we were close to the Cauldocot (don’t know the spelling) tunnel on the way to Berkeley CA. Everything was looking very cool at this time. When we entered the tunnel, everything got very bright, probably cause of the white tile on the walls. Then all of a sudden, while staring down the tunnel ahead, I felt like we were going strait down. Like we were going toward the center of the earth. The walls looked like a blur, and the cars were like huge bugs or something. We seemed to be going exceptionally fast. Then we were almost at the end, and X said to imagine that the end of the tunnel was the entrance to another world, or something like that. When we exited the tunnel, it was really cool. Everything seemed to pop out of the landscape; colors, trees, houses. Then he said imagine that the sky(which was clear blue) is the ocean, and we are upside down. Imagining that was a weird sensation, I could actually picture that the surface of the earth was a ceiling, and the sky was water. Then my mind wandered (and when I say wander, I mean A WHOLE LOT of wandering) on the thought that we are on the outside of a huge sphere, which seemed like a crazy idea at that time, strange that it is true. We exited the freeway, and it still seemed like we were going too fast. It was kind of scary thinking your not going to stop, but I had to trust X cause I wasn’t in the state of mind to give criticisms on his driving. We got to the top of the hill where there was a stop light and you could look out over the bay at San Francisco. The view was probably one of the most beautiful views I have ever seen! The city looked amazingly clean and pristine, almost like it was all new. Everything was complementary to eachother. The water to the city, the city to the Golden Gate Bridge, the bridge to the sky. The colors were amazing, and the clouds seemed like they were different color bars stacked on top of each other. They seemed to be shifting horizontally as I watched. It was incredible, to say the very least. We continued to drive down a windy road into Berkeley. We got down to a stop light by the Claremont hotel and stopped. The sensation of stopping created this liquid feeling of the world. It felt kind of like when your in a boat, and your speeding along then you stop, and the water catches up to you, and you catch your wake. Except this feeling was like everything was going to come rushing up on us. Almost like the rocket effect, but from behind. This was a pretty intense feeling. We started again and the feeling reversed slightly, like we were moving though liquid (funny thing that air is considered a liquid). We continued to drive down the street, and the old houses looked really cool. We got to college Ave. and made a right. I made a comment that there were allot of chics (meaning good looking women) out today. Then I said that if I’m ever out and see more than 3 good looking chics that is allot for me. That seemed very funny to me and I laughed pretty hard. For the drive though Berk. there were allot of good looking chics that day (maybe just cause I was tripping). Anyway, we drove down to Telegraph, and turned right toward the college. We were discussing something that I can’t remember, but I was laughing my ass off. We got up by the school and I was watching the people walking. There seemed like there were a bunch of couples. Then I noticed there faces. They began to melt and shift. The couples faces looked the same, the girls face contorted to look like the guys and the guys contorted to look like the girls. This tripped me out!! They looked like they were suppose to be together. Then there face contorted some more, and they began to look like demon face, so I decided to look away. This happened with a few different couples walking. I was tripping pretty hard, I was having a real hard time talking and explaining things. My mind was wondering so fast that by the time I said any words I couldn’t remember what I was talking about. After that I think we drove around for a while then decided to go out of town via the back roads, up behind the college. We drove for a while and I can’t remember any real enlightening things, but we drove past were my moms boyfriends company had worked on the soccer fields, and I tried to explain to X, then he asked a question and I couldn’t answer it for the life of me. My mind was wandering too much. I felt bad that I couldn’t answer his questions, but I think he understood why. Whatever music was playing in the car at anytime on the trip was pretty cool. We drove up to the top of the hill, by the museum were the overlook is. The view was just as cool as earlier. We continued to drive and my mind was wandering intensely. I was thinking about how the earth was so small. Then I was picturing it in my head, and how are bodies where just little hair like protrusions from it. I then visualized are souls as alien beings traveling though space, and how we came to earth, and occupied these earth suits so we could experience this world and each other. Then I saw each soul leaving the bodies (dying), and moving on to different planets, and places. Many of my thoughts were about space and this planet. The road was getting windy at this point and I started to feel sick to my stomach. I said I wanted to get out, but actually, I NEEDED to get out, other wise I was going to puke. It took ever piece of concentration in me to hold in my stomach contents. I was also feeling a bit of claustrophobia in the car. We finally pulled over down into this area were I could walk around. It was a forested area with eucalyptus trees, and there was a trail. You could look over this lake called Lake Anza. We stopped and I sat with my legs out of the car for a min. not feeling all that good. The wind was blowing and the trees were swaying, this didn’t help my nausea. I got out and we started to walk around. X went the bathroom (outhouse), and I walked down to a picnic area. Just watching the trees sway was cool, everything seemed attuned to the fact that I was tripping. Like they were speaking to me, telling me I was apart of them and visa versa. A whole lot of thoughts about myself being apart of nature and the earth came to me at this moment. X came out of the bathroom and suggested that I go in there cause the toilet seat looked like an alien head. I had to go the bathroom, so I went in. I opened the wooden outhouse, and thought that I really didn’t want to smell the shit in there, but I went anyway. The toilet seat WAS an alien head, and I was pissing right on it. The sound of my piss hitting the water made it sound like someone was moaning. The head was freaking me out, and it was kind of dark in there so that made it all the more freaky. That was the trippiest bathroom experience I’ve ever had. I went back out and told X about it, then we started walking down this trail. I seemed to be walking very slow, cause X kept turning around and looking at me. I had a good reason though. I had two out of body experiences while walking in his direction!!...I kept looking at the trees and walking and then all of a sudden, I would see the back of my head. As if I were walking behind myself. It made me stop and check myself twice. I felt like I was floating when this happened, it was VERY strange, but it also kicked ass. We walked down the path toward the cliff that was over the lake. Everything was alive, and I mean everything. We saw a bird flying over the lake, and the tree tops below us, it was very cool. We walked down the path a little ways, and then turned back. X made me stop and look real close at some stuff. They all seemed very much alive, and moving. Looking at the tree bark was interesting cause it seemed like I could see the smallest cells it was made of, but then it seemed just to go deeper. We walked back to the car, and I was feeling better, but I was still having a hard time taking a deep breath. We took off on the back roads back toward Martinez. X put in this cool music which was kind of folk guitar but better. It picked up the mood, and went perfectly with the road we were driving on. While driving back, we were passing cows in fields, and it seemed like the cows were just drops of liquid. We called them drops of cows. It was hella funny. I don’t remember much after that, just that we went back to X’s and chilled till I was ready to drive home myself. The comedown wasn’t bad at all. Overall it was a good trip, except for the passing out part, and the pain. Allot of thoughts I don’t remember, and events might have been a little different than what actually happened. To bad, cause that trip was pretty intense!

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