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paranoid
*sorry so long* my first time eating shrooms was this summer.
*sorry so long* my first time eating shrooms was this summer. i read about it on dancesafe, erowid and of course here on this website. i was with my friends and we were on our way to a forest party. they were all excited and we were staying a hotel. my friend and i went to get a camera from the store really quick and when we came back everyone had eaten them already. it was both our first time and also this one other guy, k. i was telling her dont take them yet but her bf was like take them take them everyone else did so of course she listened to him. i didnt take mine until we were driving for about 15min becuz i was thinkin we're almost there but of course it took longer than i expected and they stopped at a gas station first. the 3 of us first timers(me, m, k-a guy) started to feel it early of course. my friend started laughing, i and the guy jus looked at her like she was crazy cuz we didnt kno why she was laughing. but when we got out the car at the gas station i felt really disoriented. i couldnt 'feel time'. my vision was kinda blurry. we were waiting for ppl to go to the restroom get snacks etc-there were 10 of us(me, m, k, t, r, b, br-the only sober one she had tried once before but didnt like it, be, g, a) and we had 2 cars- i felt like everyone was taking forever plus the light seemed extra bright in there. it seemed like sober ppl could tell that i/we were on sumthing. so i got the keys and went back to the car. we finally got there but had to wait forever to get in. when we got out the car some girls were going to their car to get sumthing and i heard my friends talking to them probly about the party and i asked are u leaving already, was it bad? but noone answered or if they did i didnt hear. it jus seemed like everyone looked at me really weird and started walking towards the line in slowmotion. i started to feel awkward. so we had to stand in line, i started to get really cold and uneasy. i hadnt talked for awhile. me and m sat down on the curb. i looked at the ground and jus for a lil while the twigs looked like worms they were all moving really fast. then she kept talking to me which was really annoying me. she wasnt saying nething. she kept saying the same think over again-isnt that guy cute?- and touching her hair in the exact same way and smiling the same way. everyone else was in front of us, and everyone else was talking sooo much except t and k. i kept thinking why cant they shut up ppl are gonna kno that we're high and think we're all stupid. there were also these italian ppl in front of us and it sounded so cool when they talked like echoing. then g came up to us and said wow dont they sound so cool and that annoyed me so much for some reason. then she came again and took a picture of us. my friend has the pic and she said it was the fakest smile she has ever seen. i asked her wut time it was becuz i had forgotten my watch, which was odd cuz i always have it, and she had her cell but she looked and said i dont kno it doesnt say. but when we got to the front of the line i thought i heard br ask her and she said oh its blah blah- it couldve just been me tho. the whole time i was thinking why did i try this, its so stupid, its not like e at all, i wish i could be normal like everyone else. i wanted to talk to br and ask her how long it lasted for her and if her experience was like mine but i couldnt bring myself to get up and walk to her. it seemed like everyone was staring at me and knew that i wasnt normal. then m looked at me and said wow yur eyes are so big and i said yah yurs are too. i didnt feel like talking or being friendly at all. then it seemed like i could hear everyone talking at the same time-everyone around us and i could hear their conversations all at once which was awesome. then i thought i heard and saw this one girl, that i heard talking about cigarettes and fire before, run to the front of the line and say fire! but my friends didnt hear that. then i kept seeing cars go by- slowly it seemed-and thinking those are police in there, they are coming to take us all away we're going to jail. we finally got to the party and i started feeling a lil better again since i heard the music and everything. i was thinking maybe its finally over but it wasnt. i was still deathly cold-well it was outside too, sober ppl were really cold but it jus seemed to double for me. i had glitter eye makeup on and i guess one had stuck to my eyelash and when i blinked it looked like i could make my own laser which was kinda cool but only lasted for a second. throughout the trip i felt paranoid, cold, regret and thinking that e was alot better even tho i have only done it 3 times before over 2 years. now i feel curiosity, i want to try it again but only around nonsober ppl/friends and in a setting that is considered safe to me. i might enjoy it more. im not sure...i just kno that it was soo different. i had no control over my thoughts or actions. i couldnt make myself think or act like i hadnt done anything. and not knowing wut time it was, not being able to tell if i was really in 'time' and not being able to judge how much time had passed jus killed me, it was soo crazy.
*sorry about grammar,punctuation, spelling*
*sorry about grammar,punctuation, spelling*